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07-10-2004
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#1 |
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rock star
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Kuwait
Age: 23
Posts: 3,008
Rep Power: 44    |
100 ways to kill yourself
lool this fukin rocks!
1) try soaking your head in a bucket of ammonia. in 5 minutes, if you are still alive, repeat as necessary till dead... 2) cut your balls off (if you have them) 3) cut your head off with a razor blade and go into extreme ecstacy 4) drink a gallon of JD with a dab of Nitrogrycerin and jump up and down vigirously 5) fart in a balloon and light a match 6) eat the stuff between your toes with a teaspoon of pepper and a drop of vinegar 7) fart in front of the meanest, fattest, teacher while bending over to pick up the pencil that you mistakenly (yeah, right!) dropped 8) eat shit and die..... 9) try inhaling a fart right out of your own asshole.... 10) fuck Ronald Reagan- 11) or his wife..... 12) try to do the running long jump over the Hudson river 13) or maybe try skydiving underwater...... 14) try to katch the first nuclear missle headed towards the U.S.A. 15) sit on a pitchfork 16) cement yourself into the Great Wall of China 17) attach yourself to the Good Year Blimp 18) buy a $400 piece of software and then find it up on the AE the next day 19) plug your ass with a cork and stand at the edge of a cliff and fart 20) slide down a banister with a long, fat spike at the end 21) slide down a razor blade 22) fuck a slut that has a pair of scisssors up her cunt 23) take a bath with 1 (or 2) fingers in an electrical socket 24) sit on an Exacto knife and spin! 25) cross a highway blindfolded 26) inspect the Space Shuttle's engines during takeoff 27) do whatever your parents say... 28) roll down the Empire State Building's stairway in a sleeping bag 29) sleep late on a Saturday.... 30) not seeing that bullet heading straight between your eyes 31) "Hey look! What's that knife in my stomach?" 32) "No, no please don't! Please don't push me off this ----", smack! splash! gargle... thump. 33) eat that cake that's been sitting in the fridge for 2 months 34) "Hey Jack, eat that colony of green stuff moving across your plate!" 35) Stick a straw in a septic tank and take a sip. 36) try skiing over a tree (or around it, or under it, or into it) 37) try katching a spiked boomerang... 38) try picking your brain via your nose... 39) squeeze yourself into a microwave (and don't forget to turn it on [duh!]) 40) listen to E.F. Hutton 41) leap off a 20 story building onto a sharpened steel sewage grating 42) sleep at the bottom of an elevator shaft 43) stick your hand ,or foot if desired, in a food processor 44) get your ear caught in the spokes of your bike while riding down a hill 45) stick your hand in a paper shredder 46) have your car compacted at a junkyard, and give the guy a buck to let you sleep in it 47) sit on a scorpion 48) get your head caught in a beehive 49) sleep in your washing machine (or dryer for extra fluffyness) 50) loose the only key to your father's brand new Rolls Royce 51) sleigh ride off your roof 52) straddle a 'No Parking' sign 53) drink a gallon of gasoline and have some tabasco sauce 54) fall asleep at the bottom of a garbage incinerator [you know, the shutes you throw the garbage down if you live in a high rise] 55) skydive into an exploding volcano (if you live through this, contact me on the Circus BBS 201-592-0456) 56) cement yourself into the middle of a highway 57) volunteer to be a subway brake 58) light a smoke bomb and swallow.!$%&*!^%*#&$*?%!@.? 59) drag yourself along the road, hanging on the back of a Mack truck 60) wait at the bottom of the Empire State Building while your friend drops a spear off the top, straight through the center of your head (and the rest of you) 61) glue yourself to the way bottom of an ocean liner [while it's going]... 62) lounge in a pool obNasoline and light that big fat cigar in your mouth 63) climb up the telefone pole and lick the electric wires 64) look in the mirror [ha ha! just kiddin'!] 65) go to Russia 66) slingshot yourself into the Sun [not quite..] 67) put some iodine crystals in a whoopy cushion - sit on it! 68) volunteer to be a nuclear warhead 69) <- eat your girlfriend out when she uses a sulfuric acid douche 70) eat a piece of Uranium 71) lick a scientist's chemical lab table before he cleans up! 72) get your nose caught in an exhaust pipe while the car is running 73) go swimming while wearing Mr.T's heavy jewelery around thy neck 74) run a razor blade down the middle of your face! 75) take a chainsaw, cut your head into thirds 76) get caught on the nose of the Concorde 77) in your science class, turn on all the gas outlets, light a match 78) get drunk and be processed through a doughnut molding factory 79) volunteer to rent out your head as a soccer ball 80) eat your school cafeteria's poison of the day 81) slurp nuclear waste 82) stab yourself in 100 (and 1) places 83) try to swallow a (King) Cobra 84) get your arm caught in the wheel of a train 85) your running 40 m.p.h. - your foot katches onto a bloody sewage grating - you trip and fall - 40 m.p.h. - on your face! 86) bend both your knees and elbows - backwards! [snap!] 87) ski off a cliff 88) shuv a pipebomb up your ass 89) fart and smell up a crowded elevator [watch the reaction!] - announce that you let it go - kiss your ass goodbye! 90) cut your circulation off with a giant Band-Aid (tm) 91) mail yourself to the smallest P.O. box in the country 92) pick a fight with Sylvester Stallone 93) try to catch a Roadrunner 94) beat the shit out of yourself [take a spaz!] 95) you take a final relaxing dip in a pool of gasoline - you hang yourself from a branch of a tree - light the bonfire under you! 96) tie each of your ankles to the bumper of 2 cars and let them back out in different directions - Slowly! 97) go to your local deli and by mistake put your best hand on the meat slicer, and of course turn it on - press down firmly as the slices of your hand fall neatly into the palm of the other hand 98) try writing this G-Phile 99) put it this way - commit suicide! 100) Do all of the above [in order!]
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Check out my solo music on: Bandcamp, Facebook, Soundcloud, Youtube, Twitter  Also, check out my band, Jelly Shot on: Facebook, Soundcloud, Youtube, and Twitter, And check out our debut EP entitled 'Suit Yourself'. |
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07-10-2004
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#2 |
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"maaaaagic!"
Join Date: Jul 2003
Age: 27
Posts: 5,903
Rep Power: 104  |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
Here are some other fun ways to die:
Hanging Yourself From A Sidewalk Curb! Decapitation By Way Of HBO! Water-And-Cayenne-Pepper Concoction Overdose! Eardrum Explosion Via Upped Bass On Godsmack Song! Spontaneous Combustion During A Graduation Speech! Eaten By A Venetian Blind! Dissection By Ian McKellen's Cold, Steel-Blue Eyes! Eye Strain! And A Lot Of It! Two Words: Intramural Whaling! Pushing Your Roommate To The Brink Of Insanity Then Screwing His Brother With The Koran! Forgetting The Function Of The Conjunction! Traveling A Thousand Miles To Destroy An Evil Ring By Throwing It In The Volcano Of Mount Doom Like Tom Hanks In "Joe VS. The Volcano" But Instead Of It Throwing You Out Unrealistically Like The Movie The Lava Instantly Eats Through Your Searing Skin And Corrodes Your Bones As Your Last Thought Of Realized Foolishness Is Burned Away Like So Many Botched Microwave Popcorn Attempts! Stabbing Yourself With A Ked! Dressing Up Like The Joker And Challenging Everyone In Spanish Harlem To A Dick-Size Contest! Tripping Onto Howard Stern's Nose! Starve In Front Of The Hostess Foods Inc. Headquarters! Three Words: Really Old Age! Finger Infections On A Universal Scale! Dying Twice (If You Can Manage It Somehow)! Vicadin Mixed With Flamethrower! Nine Words: Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets! Carpel Tunnel Of The Cerebral Lobe! Swallowing Niagra Falls! Electrocution By Way Of Swallowing Niagra Falls And A Plugged-In Toaster! Carbonating Your Own Blood At A PepsiCo Tour! Tiki Torch Deathmatch Against Your Boss And His Favorite Middle-Aged Celebrity! 9,000 Orgasms! Dying Three Times (If You Can Manage Two Times, This Should Be A Piece Of Cake)!
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When all government, in little as in great things, shall be drawn to Washington as the Center of all power, it will render powerless the checks provided of one government on another and will become as venal and oppressive as the government from which we separated. – Thomas Jefferson |
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07-10-2004
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#3 |
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*PAC MAN*
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Chicago IL
Age: 26
Posts: 793
Rep Power: 20  |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
i always prefered the bleach and ammonia sniffing method...
just mix those up and take a wiff, also very effective in killing other people around you
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07-10-2004
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#4 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Age: 23
Posts: 61
Rep Power: 17 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
if you did the bleach and ammonia method, would you feel pain as you die, or just like pass out and die
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07-10-2004
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#5 |
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*PAC MAN*
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Chicago IL
Age: 26
Posts: 793
Rep Power: 20 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
first of all... DONT DO IT!!! THIS IS JOKES AND COMEDY... now im gonna tell you that you will feel so much pain that you would rather not do it ok?
seriously if you feel like you need to kill yourself just talk to us... you can tlak to me if you want, theres no reason to kill yourelf... your young ... 14 youve got a whole life to live and anything can change... aim:psychopatpl msn: patman9000@hotmail.com yahoo: patman9000_psycho seriously its not worth it... --- but for real, i guess i have no idea, ive never tried it, nor have i ever heard of anyone trying it surviving telling about the pain... i know that even the slightest bit can damage you though, so dont try it even to like just mess around.
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07-10-2004
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#6 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Age: 23
Posts: 61
Rep Power: 17 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
...no i was just asking.........
dont worry im not gonna kill myself |
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07-10-2004
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#7 | |
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*PAC MAN*
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Chicago IL
Age: 26
Posts: 793
Rep Power: 20 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
Quote:
theres your answer from bbc... and im glad your not considering suicide, got me worried for a second
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07-10-2004
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#8 |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Age: 23
Posts: 61
Rep Power: 17 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
noo i would never
i only asked cuz i was curious |
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07-10-2004
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#9 |
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The ?mægå Mån
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: i am from boston. stranded away from home.
Age: 29
Posts: 2,797
Rep Power: 33 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
did we all forget to use the helicopter ejector seat?
or how about getting your car going fast down a hill. jump out of the car but as you do turn the wheel sharply so it can run you over a couple of times. swallow used coffee filters gargle with draino and pop rocks
__________________
BEWARE: When eating snacks remember that the fruit roll-up factory feels the need to endanger our lives with a potentially suffocatingly thin transluscent plastic. I am outraged and currently on my way out the door to start a petition for a boycott of any and all fruit roll-up snacks. Please send me a message or post your name, telephone number, and address, and some one will be by to get your signature. Thank You |
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07-10-2004
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#10 |
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Elite Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Dundee, City of Neddery, Scotland.
Age: 26
Posts: 1,419
Rep Power: 25 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
Eating styrofoam [expands and bursts your stomach.]
Drinking bleach [corrodes your insides, burns your organs to pieces.] Jumping in front of a fast moving object [trains are good for this.] Blocking all the ventiliation and turning your carbon monoxide oven onto full [absorbs oxygen and slowly drowns you] Taking barbituates after placing a plastic bag around your head [sends you to sleep and the bag then causes you to asphyxiate] Drinking so heavily you pass out, spew in your sleep and choke on it [a la Hendrix] Have someone wrench your heart directly from your chest with a crowbar.
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Stop Rape, Say yes.
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07-11-2004
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#11 | |
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Member
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Victoria, Australia
Age: 23
Posts: 175
Rep Power: 17 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
Quote:
 But that's only if all of us want to die. If not, no ones gonna do it. They're all great though. Some would be fun to try... If you didn't die of course.
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Many people say I am mean. I'm not mean. I have the heart of a young girl. In a jar. On my desk...
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07-12-2004
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#12 | |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Victoria
Age: 23
Posts: 97
Rep Power: 18 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
Quote:
 Make sure I'm not there, and Ms. Dedman is.  stupid cow...
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07-13-2004
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#13 |
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Banned
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Corona, CA, USA
Age: 24
Posts: 3,094
Rep Power: 49 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
I only have 32 gas outlets in my class.. i still think that'll b more then enough gas to blow my gay (literally) teacher away.
lolIt seems like whoever wrote that list got a little bored after a while, and showed it by writing, sit on an exacto knife and spin. That wouldnt kill you, just hurt a LOT. |
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07-13-2004
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#14 |
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Experienced Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Las vegas, Nevada
Age: 28
Posts: 376
Rep Power: 20 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
I would either try to catch a road runner or die from 9000 orgasms. yeah that would be awsome.
__________________
Humans were meant to work and sweat to earn a living. Those who try to get rich quick or live at the expense of others, all get divine retribution somewhere along the line. That's the lesson. Unfortunately, we quickly forget the lessons we've learned and then we have to learn them all over again. - Jet Survival of the fittest is the law of nature. We decieve or we are decieved. Thus we flourish or perish. Nothing good ever happened to me when I trusted others. That is the lesson. - Faye Lesson Lesson!? If you see a stranger, follow him. - Edward What's the real lesson? Don't leave things in the fridge - Spike |
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07-13-2004
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#15 | |
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Member
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Victoria, Australia
Age: 23
Posts: 175
Rep Power: 17 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
Quote:
  Sure you want me to do it though? Lol.
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Many people say I am mean. I'm not mean. I have the heart of a young girl. In a jar. On my desk...
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07-13-2004
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#16 | |
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I do what I want!!
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: UK
Age: 27
Posts: 8,301
Rep Power: 48 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
Quote:
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07-13-2004
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#17 |
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Banned
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Corona, CA, USA
Age: 24
Posts: 3,094
Rep Power: 49 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
The easiest and most creative way to kill yourself:
Play on the freeway. A freeway in southern california is preferbaly the best, because people always drive over 80 mph, and will try to aim for you. |
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07-13-2004
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#18 |
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fear the hangover fairy
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Monifieth, Round-the-corner-from-the-place, Scotland
Age: 27
Posts: 752
Rep Power: 22 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
Wow.
What a fun filled thread. You sick fucks. The BEST way to do it is to make some thermite, put it all over yourself and light it.
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My end has come... For now, I come for you...
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07-13-2004
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#19 | |
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Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Victoria
Age: 23
Posts: 97
Rep Power: 18 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
Quote:
Nah, I'm joking. Don't... 
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07-13-2004
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#20 |
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Old & Wise Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Alberta, Canada
Age: 23
Posts: 988
Rep Power: 22 |
Re: 100 ways to kill yourself
how bout we all live happy go lucky lives and not brainstorm all the painfill horribles ways we can die ?
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Jesus Christ died for our sins, And if you don`t sin, Then he died for nothing. Do it for Jesus |
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