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Old 07-10-2004   #1
notlob
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100 ways to kill yourself

lool this fukin rocks!

1) try soaking your head in a bucket of ammonia. in 5 minutes, if you are
still alive, repeat as necessary till dead...

2) cut your balls off (if you have them)

3) cut your head off with a razor blade and go into extreme ecstacy

4) drink a gallon of JD with a dab of Nitrogrycerin and jump up and down
vigirously

5) fart in a balloon and light a match

6) eat the stuff between your toes with a teaspoon of pepper and a drop of
vinegar

7) fart in front of the meanest, fattest, teacher while bending over to
pick up the pencil that you mistakenly (yeah, right!) dropped

8) eat shit and die.....

9) try inhaling a fart right out of your own asshole....

10) fuck Ronald Reagan-

11) or his wife.....

12) try to do the running long jump over the Hudson river

13) or maybe try skydiving underwater......

14) try to katch the first nuclear missle headed towards the U.S.A.

15) sit on a pitchfork

16) cement yourself into the Great Wall of China

17) attach yourself to the Good Year Blimp

18) buy a $400 piece of software and then find it up on the AE the next day

19) plug your ass with a cork and stand at the edge of a cliff and fart

20) slide down a banister with a long, fat spike at the end

21) slide down a razor blade

22) fuck a slut that has a pair of scisssors up her cunt

23) take a bath with 1 (or 2) fingers in an electrical socket

24) sit on an Exacto knife and spin!

25) cross a highway blindfolded

26) inspect the Space Shuttle's engines during takeoff

27) do whatever your parents say...

28) roll down the Empire State Building's stairway in a sleeping bag

29) sleep late on a Saturday....

30) not seeing that bullet heading straight between your eyes

31) "Hey look! What's that knife in my stomach?"

32) "No, no please don't! Please don't push me off this ----", smack!
splash! gargle... thump.

33) eat that cake that's been sitting in the fridge for 2 months

34) "Hey Jack, eat that colony of green stuff moving across your plate!"

35) Stick a straw in a septic tank and take a sip.

36) try skiing over a tree (or around it, or under it, or into it)

37) try katching a spiked boomerang...

38) try picking your brain via your nose...

39) squeeze yourself into a microwave (and don't forget to turn it on [duh!])

40) listen to E.F. Hutton

41) leap off a 20 story building onto a sharpened steel sewage grating

42) sleep at the bottom of an elevator shaft

43) stick your hand ,or foot if desired, in a food processor

44) get your ear caught in the spokes of your bike while riding down a hill

45) stick your hand in a paper shredder

46) have your car compacted at a junkyard, and give the guy a buck to let you
sleep in it

47) sit on a scorpion

48) get your head caught in a beehive

49) sleep in your washing machine (or dryer for extra fluffyness)

50) loose the only key to your father's brand new Rolls Royce

51) sleigh ride off your roof

52) straddle a 'No Parking' sign

53) drink a gallon of gasoline and have some tabasco sauce

54) fall asleep at the bottom of a garbage incinerator [you know, the shutes
you throw the garbage down if you live in a high rise]

55) skydive into an exploding volcano (if you live through this, contact me
on the Circus BBS 201-592-0456)

56) cement yourself into the middle of a highway

57) volunteer to be a subway brake

58) light a smoke bomb and swallow.!$%&*!^%*#&$*?%!@.?

59) drag yourself along the road, hanging on the back of a Mack truck

60) wait at the bottom of the Empire State Building while your friend drops a
spear off the top, straight through the center of your head (and the rest of
you)

61) glue yourself to the way bottom of an ocean liner [while it's going]...

62) lounge in a pool obNasoline and light that big fat cigar in your mouth

63) climb up the telefone pole and lick the electric wires

64) look in the mirror [ha ha! just kiddin'!]

65) go to Russia

66) slingshot yourself into the Sun [not quite..]

67) put some iodine crystals in a whoopy cushion - sit on it!

68) volunteer to be a nuclear warhead

69) <- eat your girlfriend out when she uses a sulfuric acid douche

70) eat a piece of Uranium

71) lick a scientist's chemical lab table before he cleans up!

72) get your nose caught in an exhaust pipe while the car is running

73) go swimming while wearing Mr.T's heavy jewelery around thy neck

74) run a razor blade down the middle of your face!

75) take a chainsaw, cut your head into thirds

76) get caught on the nose of the Concorde

77) in your science class, turn on all the gas outlets, light a match

78) get drunk and be processed through a doughnut molding factory

79) volunteer to rent out your head as a soccer ball

80) eat your school cafeteria's poison of the day

81) slurp nuclear waste

82) stab yourself in 100 (and 1) places

83) try to swallow a (King) Cobra

84) get your arm caught in the wheel of a train

85) your running 40 m.p.h. - your foot katches onto a bloody sewage grating

- you trip and fall - 40 m.p.h. - on your face!

86) bend both your knees and elbows - backwards! [snap!]

87) ski off a cliff

88) shuv a pipebomb up your ass

89) fart and smell up a crowded elevator [watch the reaction!] - announce
that you let it go - kiss your ass goodbye!

90) cut your circulation off with a giant Band-Aid (tm)

91) mail yourself to the smallest P.O. box in the country

92) pick a fight with Sylvester Stallone

93) try to catch a Roadrunner

94) beat the shit out of yourself [take a spaz!]

95) you take a final relaxing dip in a pool of gasoline - you hang yourself
from a branch of a tree - light the bonfire under you!

96) tie each of your ankles to the bumper of 2 cars and let them back out
in different directions - Slowly!

97) go to your local deli and by mistake put your best hand on the meat
slicer, and of course turn it on - press down firmly as the slices of your hand
fall neatly into the palm of the other hand

98) try writing this G-Phile

99) put it this way - commit suicide!

100) Do all of the above [in order!]
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Old 07-10-2004   #2
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

Here are some other fun ways to die:


Hanging Yourself From A Sidewalk Curb!

Decapitation By Way Of HBO!

Water-And-Cayenne-Pepper Concoction Overdose!

Eardrum Explosion Via Upped Bass On Godsmack Song!

Spontaneous Combustion During A Graduation Speech!

Eaten By A Venetian Blind!

Dissection By Ian McKellen's Cold, Steel-Blue Eyes!

Eye Strain! And A Lot Of It!

Two Words: Intramural Whaling!

Pushing Your Roommate To The Brink Of Insanity Then Screwing His Brother With The Koran!

Forgetting The Function Of The Conjunction!

Traveling A Thousand Miles To Destroy An Evil Ring By Throwing It In The Volcano Of Mount Doom Like Tom Hanks In "Joe VS. The Volcano" But Instead Of It Throwing You Out Unrealistically Like The Movie The Lava Instantly Eats Through Your Searing Skin And Corrodes Your Bones As Your Last Thought Of Realized Foolishness Is Burned Away Like So Many Botched Microwave Popcorn Attempts!

Stabbing Yourself With A Ked!

Dressing Up Like The Joker And Challenging Everyone In Spanish Harlem To A Dick-Size Contest!

Tripping Onto Howard Stern's Nose!

Starve In Front Of The Hostess Foods Inc. Headquarters!

Three Words: Really Old Age!

Finger Infections On A Universal Scale!

Dying Twice (If You Can Manage It Somehow)!

Vicadin Mixed With Flamethrower!

Nine Words: Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets Rickets!

Carpel Tunnel Of The Cerebral Lobe!

Swallowing Niagra Falls!

Electrocution By Way Of Swallowing Niagra Falls And A Plugged-In Toaster!

Carbonating Your Own Blood At A PepsiCo Tour!

Tiki Torch Deathmatch Against Your Boss And His Favorite Middle-Aged Celebrity!

9,000 Orgasms!

Dying Three Times (If You Can Manage Two Times, This Should Be A Piece Of Cake)!
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Old 07-10-2004   #3
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

i always prefered the bleach and ammonia sniffing method...

just mix those up and take a wiff, also very effective in killing other people around you
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Old 07-10-2004   #4
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

if you did the bleach and ammonia method, would you feel pain as you die, or just like pass out and die
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Old 07-10-2004   #5
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

first of all... DONT DO IT!!! THIS IS JOKES AND COMEDY... now im gonna tell you that you will feel so much pain that you would rather not do it ok?

seriously if you feel like you need to kill yourself just talk to us... you can tlak to me if you want, theres no reason to kill yourelf... your young ... 14 youve got a whole life to live and anything can change...

aim:psychopatpl
msn: patman9000@hotmail.com
yahoo: patman9000_psycho

seriously its not worth it...

---
but for real, i guess i have no idea, ive never tried it, nor have i ever heard of anyone trying it surviving telling about the pain... i know that even the slightest bit can damage you though, so dont try it even to like just mess around.
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Old 07-10-2004   #6
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

...no i was just asking.........
dont worry im not gonna kill myself
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Old 07-10-2004   #7
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

Quote:
The Octet Rule states that all elements try to fill in their outer electron shell until they have eight electrons. When a chemical has eight electrons in its outer shell, it is then stable. Being so close to having 8 electrons in its outer shell, chlorine is quite desperate to get that one last electron - and will literally rip other atoms apart to do so. This is what happens to your respiratory system when you inhale chlorine gas. The gas tears into your nasal passages, trachea, and lungs by causing massive cellular damage. Obviously, chlorine gas causes a very painful death.


theres your answer from bbc... and im glad your not considering suicide, got me worried for a second
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Old 07-10-2004   #8
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

noo i would never
i only asked cuz i was curious
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Old 07-10-2004   #9
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

did we all forget to use the helicopter ejector seat?
or
how about getting your car going fast down a hill. jump out of the car but as you do turn the wheel sharply so it can run you over a couple of times.

swallow used coffee filters

gargle with draino and pop rocks
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Old 07-10-2004   #10
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

Eating styrofoam [expands and bursts your stomach.]

Drinking bleach [corrodes your insides, burns your organs to pieces.]

Jumping in front of a fast moving object [trains are good for this.]

Blocking all the ventiliation and turning your carbon monoxide oven onto full [absorbs oxygen and slowly drowns you]

Taking barbituates after placing a plastic bag around your head [sends you to sleep and the bag then causes you to asphyxiate]

Drinking so heavily you pass out, spew in your sleep and choke on it [a la Hendrix]

Have someone wrench your heart directly from your chest with a crowbar.
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Old 07-11-2004   #11
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Said by molly_flogger
77) in your science class, turn on all the gas outlets, light a match
Lol. My friends and I have decided that if we ever want to die, we're going to do this one. Our largest science lab has about 48 gas taps altogether. That'd be fun, taking the school down with us...

But that's only if all of us want to die. If not, no ones gonna do it.

They're all great though. Some would be fun to try... If you didn't die of course.
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Old 07-12-2004   #12
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Said by underwater_kitten
Lol. My friends and I have decided that if we ever want to die, we're going to do this one. Our largest science lab has about 48 gas taps altogether. That'd be fun, taking the school down with us...
Hey! I'm in your class, you'd kill me too! Make sure I'm not there, and Ms. Dedman is. stupid cow...
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Old 07-13-2004   #13
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

I only have 32 gas outlets in my class.. i still think that'll b more then enough gas to blow my gay (literally) teacher away. lol


It seems like whoever wrote that list got a little bored after a while, and showed it by writing, sit on an exacto knife and spin. That wouldnt kill you, just hurt a LOT.
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Old 07-13-2004   #14
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

I would either try to catch a road runner or die from 9000 orgasms. yeah that would be awsome.
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Old 07-13-2004   #15
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Said by odd_fried_eggs
Hey! I'm in your class, you'd kill me too! Make sure I'm not there, and Ms. Dedman is. stupid cow...
Will do! Sure you want me to do it though? Lol.
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Old 07-13-2004   #16
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Said by Scourge
Jumping in front of a fast moving object [trains are good for this.]
plus point if you use a train an time it right, in theory you should feel nothing as you get cut in half....bonus!!
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Old 07-13-2004   #17
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

The easiest and most creative way to kill yourself:

Play on the freeway. A freeway in southern california is preferbaly the best, because people always drive over 80 mph, and will try to aim for you.
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Old 07-13-2004   #18
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

Wow.

What a fun filled thread. You sick fucks.


The BEST way to do it is to make some thermite, put it all over yourself and light it.
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Old 07-13-2004   #19
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

Quote:
Originally Said by underwater_kitten
Will do! Sure you want me to do it though? Lol.
Leave that with me...

Nah, I'm joking. Don't...
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Old 07-13-2004   #20
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Re: 100 ways to kill yourself

how bout we all live happy go lucky lives and not brainstorm all the painfill horribles ways we can die ?
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