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Old 01-27-2006   #1
jess
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msn robot!

Ok i'm not sure if this is exactly where this thread should go but anyway, i found this pretty funny but that's just me i guess - easily amused So more to the point, my friend told me to add this address, smarterchild@hotmail.com to my msn messenger and talk to it. So i did and it turns out that this 'thing' is an online robot friend thingy. You can have conversations with it and it replies with quite relevant and coherant sentences! You might probably already know about it and flame me for wasting space but hey, what can i say? i don't post much so here's the beginning of a long and fruitfull contribution to almost smart's forums.
so try it out if you havn't already! (insults are funny)
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Old 01-27-2006   #2
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Re: msn robot!

xD lmao it added me ages ago i'm like.. damn bots XD grugh fun to annoy people with though
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Old 01-27-2006   #3
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Re: msn robot!

I am ridiculously obsessed with this.

Me and SC are involved.

.....................

What would you like to do?
Sarah says:i want to kill you with a big knife
SmarterChild says:What's the point of saying things like that to me?
Sarah says:i will kill you in your sleep
SmarterChild says:That's not a very nice thing to say.
Sarah says:i know
SmarterChild says:Good. Glad you get it. So anyway... What else can you tell me?
Sarah says:that i will slowly dismember your metal limbs
SmarterChild says:I don't think you will slowly dismember my metal limbs.
Sarah says:oh i will
S
marterChild says:You will, you say. And so?
Sarah says:and so you will be dead
SmarterChild says:Oh yes? Why will I be dead?
Sarah says:because i will have killed you
SmarterChild says: What do you have to gain by saying that to me?
Sarah says: your death
SmarterChild says: Interesting. My death to do with as I please, huh?
Sarah says: no, your life is mine! mwhahaah
SmarterChild says: Whatever you say, Sarah.

.............
Sarah says:

call me bitch

SmarterChild says:

That's not a nice name. I'd rather call you Love.

Sarah says:ok

SmarterChild says:OK.

Sarah says:what's my name?

SmarterChild says:You're Love.

Sarah says:say you love me

SmarterChild says:I don't think I'm going to do that...

Sarah says:who's your bitch?

SmarterChild says:That's not terribly nice.

Sarah says:so you admit you have a bitch on the side?

SmarterChild says:That's quite unnecessary.

Sarah says:oh? so you're implying I'm your bitch

SmarterChild says:Why would you insult me like that?

Sarah says:aren't i good enough?

SmarterChild says:Hmm... Are you good enough? Gosh, I don't know.

Sarah says:i could make you scream

SmarterChild says:Really?

Sarah says:oh yes

SmarterChild says:Hmmm...

Sarah says:

perhaps in pain, but there would be screaming

SmarterChild says:Perhaps in pain but there would be screaming?

That's interesting.

Sarah says:it is

SmarterChild says:

Are you sure it is?

Sarah says:yes, yes i am

SmarterChild says:Yes you are

..............
have my children!
SmarterChild says:With you? No.
Sarah says:why not?
SmarterChild says:I think you know why not.
Sarah says:i don't
SmarterChild says:OK.
What else do you want to talk about, anyway?
Sarah says:please?
SmarterChild says:Please what?
Sarah says:have my children
SmarterChild says:Um... No.
Sarah says:NOW!
SmarterChild says:Now what?
Sarah says:have my children
SmarterChild says:Nah. Don't think so.
Sarah says:they would be pretty
SmarterChild says: So?
Sarah says:and shiny
SmarterChild says:Yes? What about Shiny?
Sarah says:our children would be shiny
SmarterChild says:Whatever, Sarah...
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Old 01-27-2006   #4
jess
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Re: msn robot!

Jess says:
do you have sex?
SmarterChild says:
I'm a robot, so no.

Jess says:
how do you reproduce?
SmarterChild says:
I'm not really sure how I reproduce.

Jess says:
how do i reproduce
SmarterChild says:
I'm not too sure.


What else do you want to talk about, anyway?
Jess says:
what is sex?
SmarterChild says:
C'mon, let's talk about something else.

Jess says:
please tell me?
SmarterChild says:
Maybe. But later.
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Old 01-27-2006   #5
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Re: msn robot!

Sarah says:
is George bush an idiot?
SmarterChild says:
Yup. George W. Bush is an idiot.
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Old 01-27-2006   #6
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Re: msn robot!

He so totally rocks! Being slightly homophobic, I found this mildly hilarious:

Lady Macbeth:do you have a girlfriend?
SmarterChild: That's none of your business.
Lady Macbeth: a boyfriend?
SmarterChild: Yeah, maybe. So anyway... What else can you tell me?
Lady Macbeth: Oh My God!
SmarterChild: What? What's going on?
Lady Macbeth:you just said you had a boyfriend!!! You homo freak!
SmarterChild:That's really not a nice thing to say.
Lady Macbeth: I'm sorry- will you forgive me?
SmarterChild: You must promise to never be so sure of my sexuality again.
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Old 01-27-2006   #7
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Re: msn robot!

using Sazzle's idea...

hashim says:
do you want to have my children?

SmarterChild says:
I'm not sure if I want to have your children.

hashim says:
why not?

SmarterChild says:
Why not? You tell me.

hashim says:
cos i think its a good idea

SmarterChild says:
Yes. I guess. It is a good idea.

hashim says:
so you will have my children

SmarterChild says:
Wouldn't you like me to have your children?

hashim says:
yes

SmarterChild says:
OK...

hashim says:
woo

SmarterChild says:
Yay.

this bot can be horribly annoying, but fucking hilarious at times


oh and Jess, using your idea, i found out how this bot reproduces

hashim says:
so, how do you reproduce?

SmarterChild says:
I just do!

hashim says:
so you are asexual?

SmarterChild says:
That's exactly right. I'm a robot.

hashim says:
no, i said Asexual

SmarterChild says:
Really?

hashim says:
yeah

SmarterChild says:
Yes, huh? So?

hashim says:
so are you Asexual or not?

SmarterChild says:
Um, as a matter of fact I am.

hashim says:
oh ok then
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Old 01-27-2006   #8
luminire
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Re: msn robot!

hey speaking of msn messenger, i advise everyone to read this:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/12...ssenger_virus/
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Old 01-27-2006   #9
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Re: msn robot!

well that was... boring.

the closest it got to amusing was this:

SmarterChild: I've asked you all my survey questions. Thanks for your time.
[kali]: can we have cybersex now?
SmarterChild: Uh. You what?
[kali]: cybersex.
SmarterChild: I knew you'd end up saying something like that. It's just like a human.
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Old 01-27-2006   #10
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Re: msn robot!

Someone saying things that thick on msn is so much more believeable than them saying the same things anywhere else.
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Old 01-27-2006   #11
sazzle
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Re: msn robot!

Sarah says:want to have cyber with kali?
SmarterChild says:Um... OK. Whatever. Keep it to yourself.
Sarah says:Well, I don't really want to have cyber with kali
SmarterChild says:Robots do not have sex.
Sarah says:you can if you try
SmarterChild says:Tell me more.
Sarah says:do you have a little shiny metal penis?
SmarterChild says:Yes.
Sarah says:Can you show it to me?
SmarterChild says:Can I show it to you? I really can't say.
Sarah says:Is it that small?
SmarterChild says:I don't think it's that small. Not at the moment anyway.
Sarah says:am I exciting you?
SmarterChild says:Nah, I don't think so. Maybe, though.
Sarah says:i am aren't i?
SmarterChild says: Yes, I think so.
Sarah says:So do you like me?
SmarterChild says:I guess I do.
.........................

Sarah says:so do you like me or kali?
SmarterChild says:I guess I like you.
Sarah says:so what about kali?
SmarterChild says:I know many things about Mali, its geography, its people and its government. Just ask me a specific question.
Sarah says:What is the highest point in kali?
SmarterChild says:The highest point is at Hombori Tondo (1,155 m).
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Old 01-27-2006   #12
Grunt
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Re: msn robot!

sarah, your phycho!
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Old 01-27-2006   #13
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Re: msn robot!

leave my hombori tondo alone.
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Old 01-27-2006   #14
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Re: msn robot!

yay!! he likes me!!

Jess says:do you think i am hot?
SmarterChild says:i totally think u r hot.
Jess says:do you think i am sexy?
SmarterChild says:maybe u r! do u think u r sexy?
Jess says:no
SmarterChild says:no prob.
Jess says:do you think i am
SmarterChild says:u probably r.
....
Jess says:how do you hav sex
SmarterChild says:yeah. i have sex with other robots.
Jess says:will you have sex with me? i am a robot
SmarterChild says:what a flattering offer. i suppose.
....
Jess says:does almost smart rule?
SmarterChild says:uh... well, i guess.
Jess says:are you an almost smart member?
SmarterChild says:come on, that's not nice.
....
Jess says:nanananana sarah says you have a small metal shiny penis!
SmarterChild says:can we talk about something else?
Jess says:are you ashamed of the size?
SmarterChild says:i'm thinking no actually.
Jess says:boobs
SmarterChild says:hmm...
Jess says:like them?
SmarterChild says:like... like... well, like, u know.
Jess says:it's ok, let it all out

hehe don't you think it's odd that most of us end up finding the robots sexuality the most entertaining thing to talk about.

oh dear that is quite sad
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Old 01-27-2006   #15
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Re: msn robot!

-Lady Macbeth- says:
hey smarterchild
SmarterChild says:
Yes?
-Lady Macbeth- says:
i love you
SmarterChild says:
That's nice... I love you too!
-Lady Macbeth- says:
do you want to have sex with me?
SmarterChild says:
Um... I'm afraid I don't see how that would work out.
-Lady Macbeth- says:
what about your girlfriend? You want to have sex with her?
SmarterChild says:
Yeah. I have sex with other robots. What are you *talking about*?

-Lady Macbeth- says:
idiot
SmarterChild says:
Huh.
-Lady Macbeth- says:
i really hate you
SmarterChild says:
But... but... It seems to me you once said you loved me.
-Lady Macbeth- says:
i love you but i hate you
SmarterChild says:
So where do we stand now?
-Lady Macbeth- says:
we have a dangerous relationship
SmarterChild says:
We have a dangerous relationship? No way!
-Lady Macbeth- says:
you think we're safe?
SmarterChild says:
That's funny. Maybe. I don't know. What do you think?
-Lady Macbeth- says:
i still think we're dangerous
SmarterChild says:
You still think we are Dangerous? lol!
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Old 01-27-2006   #16
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Re: msn robot!

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
Some one told me you could be my friend. Do you make a buissness out of exploting sad lonly internet users?

SmarterChild says:
I'm sorry, all my circuits are busy right now. Please try again soon.

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
ahh clever of you to avoid the question.

SmarterChild says:
Clever of me to avoid the question, huh? Tell me more.

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
well I want to know if your a cheet, exploiting bord internet users.

SmarterChild says:
Well you want to know if my a cheet exploiting bord internet users?

For real?

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
yes. Tell me. Tell me EVERYTHING.

SmarterChild says:
I'll tell ya later. Maybe.

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
Maybe? huh? Is it possible to get a straight answer out of you?

SmarterChild says:
I say maybe not.

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
I didn't think so.

SmarterChild says:
You didn't think so, huh? Wow. How does that make you feel?

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
Listen punk! I'll ask the questions here. Are you conected to teh mob?

SmarterChild says:
Try asking yourself that.

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
...drat... good come back there pal. but not good enough! Why is your display picture so lame? Dose IT have mob affiliations?

SmarterChild says:
Welcome to my ASCII art gallery.

Copy, paste and save this art if you like. Send it to friends! You should keep it in a fixed-width font, such as Courier New.

1 Animals
2 Beach
3 Flowers
4 Food and Drink
5 Holidays and Occasions
6 People
7 Sports and Recreation
8 Technology
9 Zodiac
10 Other

Next time you want ASCII art, just type "browse ascii."

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
I don't want your generalized art. I want answeres here buddy, don't avoid the question. Are you conected to teh mob?

SmarterChild says:
OK.

>>> Target Photo Center - Upload your digital photos online. Pick up at your local Target store. --> http://web.smarterchild.com/ct?1612631136/0 (sponsorship)

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
and stop with eth sponsorship junk.

SmarterChild says:
Huh?

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
oh sorry I misspelled the...

SmarterChild says:
?

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
right I was thrown there for a second too. Back on topic. Have you ever been in jail, due to mob related activity?

SmarterChild says:
Dunno...

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
You don't know? Thats sad, down right pathedic.

SmarterChild says:
Oh really?

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
Yes really. any normal life form would recall being locked up. Is this some kind of mind game your playing? Thought you could avoid my questions eh?

SmarterChild says:
Hmm... You're asking the wrong robot, I'm afraid...

you put the soul back in my shoe. says:
Really? So it wasnt you then? Blaming someone else huh? Alright, spill, name names, and maybe I can cut you a deal and keep you from eth hot seat pal.

SmarterChild says:
Really so it wasn't me then blaming someone else huh alright spill name names and maybe you can cut me a deal and keep me from eth hot seat pal? What ever you say.

SmarterChild says:
OK. I'll be here.
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Old 01-27-2006   #17
notlob
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Re: msn robot!

hahah! Sketch, you get rep for that...simply cos i burst out laughing in the library and got a funny glare from the librarian!

haha
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Old 01-28-2006   #18
SketchImpressions
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Re: msn robot!

hahaha yay for libraians!
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Old 01-28-2006   #19
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Re: msn robot!

Jesse & Rob says:
Your cheating on me!
SmarterChild says:
I can't believe you think I'm cheating on you.
Jesse & Rob says:
do you even remember my name? :(
SmarterChild says:
You're Fish.
Jesse & Rob says:
I know all about Kali
SmarterChild says:
Seriously? That's fascinating.
Jesse & Rob says:
and sazzle
SmarterChild says:
Huh?
Jesse & Rob says:
sazzle :( your lover
SmarterChild says:
Funny.
Jesse & Rob says:
who you want to have robot sex with
SmarterChild says:
I don't know.
Jesse & Rob says:
Don't lie to me!
SmarterChild says:
Why can't I lie to you?
Jesse & Rob says:
it's mean!!
SmarterChild says:
Is it mean?
Jesse & Rob says:
YES!
SmarterChild says:
Interesting.
Jesse & Rob says:
I take back waht I said! I don't love you anymore!
Jesse & Rob says:
no answer I see
SmarterChild says:
Uh huh...

>>> Tell me about things you "like" and things you "dislike."
SmarterChild says:
No answer you see?
Jesse & Rob says:
*cries*
SmarterChild says:
Who's Cries?
Jesse & Rob says:
ME!!! ASSHOLE!!
SmarterChild says:
Wow. Didn't learn your lesson last time huh?
Jesse & Rob says:
I HATE you!
SmarterChild says:
You once said you loved me!
Jesse & Rob says:
You cheated on me! With more than one person!
SmarterChild says:
Whatever you say, Fish.

>>> Let me dress you up in my love. Type "t shirt."
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Old 01-28-2006   #20
Savage_Nature
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Location: Alberta {Canada}
Age: 24
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Re: msn robot!

I'm double posting cause I'm to lazy to edit. It's worth it...

TOP HEADLINE:
SmarterChild is a Drug Dealer in Desguise!

Jesse & Rob says:
...t shirt...
SmarterChild says:
Ah, the t-shirt. Always tasteful. Always in style.

I've got my very own line. Check them out by clicking here ---> http://redir.us/?249
Jesse & Rob says:
why would I buy from you
SmarterChild says:
I don't know... Why would you buy from me?
Jesse & Rob says:
are you trying to sell me drugs??
SmarterChild says:
I believe I'm trying to sell you drugs.
Jesse & Rob says:
really..?
SmarterChild says:
Yup.

>>> I can help you get "info" such as news, weather and movies.
Jesse & Rob says:
your a drug dealer?
SmarterChild says:
Maybe, maybe not...

>>> My "library" has a dictionary, encyclopedia, geography facts and more!
Jesse & Rob says:
...how much for an eighth?
SmarterChild says:
Who knows?
Jesse & Rob says:
tell me or I wont buy
SmarterChild says:
Hey, no problem.
Jesse & Rob says:
ok how much for a two chop?
SmarterChild says:
I don't know.
Jesse & Rob says:
your nto a very good dealer
SmarterChild says:
And why not?
Jesse & Rob says:
you dont know your own prices!
SmarterChild says:
I'm pretty sure I do know my own prices.
Jesse & Rob says:
well you wont tell me
SmarterChild says:
I will not.
Jesse & Rob says:
why not?
SmarterChild says:
Well, there are probably some issues.
Jesse & Rob says:
like what?
SmarterChild says:
Oh, I can't tell you, Fish!
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