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Writer's Corner The pen is mightier than the sword. Post your writings or poetry. Also discuss your favorite authors or books.

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Old 02-27-2004   #1
RubberDucky55
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finish line

everythings blurring
trying to slow down
dragging my feet
to slow the motion
watching the hand
steadily tick
willing it to stop
wishing to preserve
gone in a flash
not wanting to become
a part of it too
but its petal to the metal
seeing the crashes
brakes are out
the finish line is approaching
and thats it.
this is the end...

ah, not very good compared to what you guys write. but comments please!


(oh, and can you guys tell what its about?)
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Scarecrow: I don't know... But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?
Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right.



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Old 02-29-2004   #2
Kali
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Re: finish line

there's a danger in enveloping a poem too much in riddle that the original meaning and intent is lost.

if you really want to have a poem that is shrouded in mystery, remember that you have to leave some folds for the reader to pull back in order to see what's under the haze that is the words.

good luck with it.
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Old 03-01-2004   #3
RubberDucky55
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Re: finish line

Quote:
Originally Said by Kali
there's a danger in enveloping a poem too much in riddle that the original meaning and intent is lost.

if you really want to have a poem that is shrouded in mystery, remember that you have to leave some folds for the reader to pull back in order to see what's under the haze that is the words.

good luck with it.
ya, i was afraid it would be like it. well, its about how time is going by too quickly. ya its kinda stupid. oh well. thanks for your input.
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Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?
Scarecrow: I don't know... But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?
Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right.



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