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Old 03-02-2003   #1
2fast4U
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When to get engaged?

I'm almost sure that my boyfriend will ask me to get engaged soon but I', mot sure... I love him and everything but is it too soon...? We've been together for one year now and I feel like it's coming too soon. And at the same time I'm afraid that I'll hurt his feelings too bad if I say "not yet". And the worst, what if he'll break up with me?! Give me some advise, what do you think?? Any experiences??

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Old 03-02-2003   #2
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If your not sure believe me you won't be doing anyone a favor by saying yes. Tell him not yet and if he understands he will stay, and if he leaves it wasn't meant to be.
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Old 03-06-2003   #3
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fuzzyhead7 has made a few great posts
getting engaged should come when both of you feel ready to make a lifetime commitment. don't be one of those morons (coughcertaincelebritiescough) that bounce from engagement to marriage to another marriage in the span of a year or so. i'm a firm believer that time has no meaning in whether or not a couple is ready to do anything. i'd like to think it depends on their own comfort level, maturity, and depth of feelings for one another.
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Old 04-16-2003   #4
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I used to believe you should be with a person for at least a couple years before getting married. However, I was lucky and fortunate to find the love of my life. Experiencing life with her has shattered all of my previous notions of how relationships should work. I know in my heart now that there is no time limit on love or marriage.
When you want to spend your life with this person and you are truly ready, then that is the time for you.
However, Weasel is right on this one. If it isnt the right time for you, you wont be doing anyone justice by rushing things. If it was ment to be, he'll understand if you want to wait for the right time.
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Old 04-16-2003   #5
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seriously...i dont think anyone should get engaged before 20.
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Old 04-16-2003   #6
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Tell him you need time and he'll just have to wait a bit. If he loves you enough to get engaged, he should be able to wait.
One of my friends mom and I always talk about relationships. She got engaged her senior year of high school and stayed engaged 8 years before getting married. They are still together still, so don't think teenage love isn't real and won't last. Just be sure this is the guy for you.
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Old 04-16-2003   #7
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all of those responses are great advise, hmm i cant really say anything that hasnt already been said. so just dont make the same mistake as me. just make sure your heart is into it, and trust your instinct, you will truly know when its right the right time.
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Old 04-16-2003   #8
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yep i must agree with every one else, and you should it take it slow because you got the rest of your life. If he leaves ...he doesnt truely love you...
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Old 04-16-2003   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Rock ur socks
She got engaged her senior year of high school and stayed engaged 8 years before getting married. They are still together still, so don't think teenage love isn't real and won't last.
This kinda reminds me of my sis, she met her current husband junior year of HS ('91). They were engaged for 6 years before they were wed. They're still together with a kid and one on the way, and still happy together.
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Old 04-17-2003   #10
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I think you should get engaged when you are sure about your feelings for your significant other and you're sure that you can have a future together. Timescale shouldn't matter as long as you're absolutely sure. If your not then just explain to your boyfriend that you're not ready for it yet and that it's a big step. If he seems hurt, just explain that it's not a no and that you might be ready for that step some time in the future.
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Old 04-18-2003   #11
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exactly.
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Old 04-19-2003   #12
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Think to yourself, is this the one I want to wake up too fifty years from now? Does she want to wake up to me fifty years from now?
If both of these answers are yes then go ahead.
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Old 04-20-2003   #13
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Marriage at a young age is a mistake and most don't last...
Do something with your life first because you'll end up feeling traped and that you wasted your time/life. Then sooner or later someone's going to want a baby and deadendsville is just around the corner from that...
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Old 04-20-2003   #14
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Do it!

If two people truely love eachother then let them be married don't hold them back.
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Old 04-20-2003   #15
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sure piss away all reason and your life while your at it. Makes goooooooood sense
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Old 04-22-2003   #16
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2fast4u - only you can decide what is right for your life. If you aren't ready to get married, don't do it. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with a long engagement. You definately don't want to feel like you've made a mistake. Maybe you should write out a pros/cons list. That usually helps me make tough decisions. Try that, and see what outweights what. maybe that will help you. Don't feel pressured to make the decision to get married based on how your bf will feel. If he truly loves you, he will respect your choices, afterall, this is going to be your husband. Let him know where you're coming from though too. Guys don't take subtle hints like us chicks do. We need to tell them exactly how we're feeling. Just something I wanted to share with you - I've been with my boy for 9 years and I'm still not ready to make that lifelong commitment.... :D
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Old 05-11-2003   #17
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If you're not ready, you're not ready. Maybe you should drop some hints before he asks you, let him know that you want to just enjoy things right now, you're really into being with him, and that's good enough for now. If he's the one, you have plenty of time to make it official. You don't have to have the ceremony to be essentially married, just share your life.
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Old 05-13-2003   #18
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How soon do you think the marraige will be after he pops the question? I have the same problem, except we decided to wait for a little while before we get married. I agree with the majority. Let him know how you feel and if he's as sincere as you think, he'll understand, no doubt.
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Old 05-14-2003   #19
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I just turned 18, and my boyfriend is 17. We are engaged :)
He is going to West Point, and can't go if he is married. I'm a senior, and he is a junior. So we'll be engaged 5-years before we can get married. But, we really love each other...so we'll be able to hold on till then. Plus, we'll get our schooling over with and all that stress before getting married.
I think there isn't a real good or bad age to be married at, or a time to have been dating. I've been dating my guy for three months, and we were only dating two months when he proposed. You just have to be sure your life is in order first, and don't give up any of your dreams!! If they love you, they'll wait till you fulfill those goals. You also probably should wait until you have the finical aspect in place, good/steady jobs...some money already saved away...a place to live, etc.
You'll want to discus your future plans too. Do you want kids? Does either one of you want to travel? Where do you want to live? And other important things like that. Try living together for awhile, being with someone 24/7 might change your mind. Just be sure it is right :)
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Old 05-15-2003   #20
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Re: Do it!

Quote:
Originally posted by libra_195
If two people truely love eachother then let them be married don't hold them back.
You really want to make sure that it's the guy for you (or girl) by taking time to really get to know each other. A guy (or girl) could be putting on an act like my ex did to get what he (my ex) wanted. Once you are married or living together, then you really get to see how the other person lives and acts. For some people, that's a HUGE eye opener. Then they start thinking to themselves, "is this really the person I want to be with?" For some people, they could care less or they live the same way.

My ex treated me really nice when we were together. BUT, if I wasn;t there, he cheated on me. I don't know why he didn't just break up with me but instead he insisted on cheating on me every day with a different girl every time. I almost lost my virginity to that little two-faced-3-inch-cock motherF***er. I'm really happy I didn't do it with him. Now I'm friends with a guy who wants to have a relationship with me and not hurt me. He completely ignores other girls because he wants to be with me. I talk to other guys all the time in Yahoo only because I get really bored and like talking (incase you can't tell).
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