Answering Machine Messages

Nadine · 02-23-2004

I dare you to put one of these on your voice mail! And for you couples, I DARE YOU TO DO #1!!

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine. This is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason
for calling ... and I'll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a
female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy.! Sonya l ikes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

psychoDiablo · 02-23-2004

i like number 8. and 4. definately 3.

lynthechef · 02-23-2004

they are all really good but 7, 4, and 2 are my faves

Ziech · 02-24-2004

... Now I want an answering machine!

Summer Gurl · 02-24-2004

wow ! Thoes are great! i really like them use them for Im away messages lol

superchicken002 · 02-24-2004

haha number 4 is the voicemail on my phone...

psychoDiablo · 02-25-2004

haha superchick. that one is funny. think i'm using number 8.

02-23-2004	#2
psychoDiablo Thx for the memories Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 15,971 Rep Power: 205	Re: Answering Machine Messages i like number 8. and 4. definately 3. __________________ I wouldn't say I'm psycho only because I'm able to handle it. Now learn patience To chill is to be chillin. Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.) \|-Mr.MCR-\| Will you write Will you love Will you enjoy Life when I am gone? You will. by Angelina "I have lived life as horrible as it was, and as beautiful as it has become."

02-23-2004	#3
lynthechef Trainee Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 47 Rep Power: 35	Re: Answering Machine Messages they are all really good but 7, 4, and 2 are my faves

02-24-2004	#4
Ziech Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,394 Rep Power: 42	Re: Answering Machine Messages ... Now I want an answering machine! __________________ Dead

02-24-2004	#5
Summer Gurl She shines like the summer sun Join Date: Jan 2004 Age: 36 Posts: 4,790 Rep Power: 54	Re: Answering Machine Messages wow ! Thoes are great! i really like them use them for Im away messages lol __________________

02-24-2004	#6
superchicken002 Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Age: 36 Posts: 1,025 Rep Power: 41	Re: Answering Machine Messages haha number 4 is the voicemail on my phone... __________________ My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, so won't you kill me, so I die happy.

02-23-2004	#1
Nadine Such a TEASE! RAWR Join Date: May 2003 Age: 38 Posts: 1,625 Rep Power: 43	Answering Machine Messages I dare you to put one of these on your voice mail! And for you couples, I DARE YOU TO DO #1!! 10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. 8. This is not an answering machine. This is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling ... and I'll think about returning your call. 7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. 6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money. 5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message. 4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner. 3. Hi. Now YOU say something. 2. Hi. I'm probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. 1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy.! Sonya l ikes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. __________________ "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." ~by David Bowie "And I hope that in time You will eventually see An oh so slight fondness That you might have had once for me" ~me~ "I don't need SEX! Life FUCKS me whenever it can!" ~Unknown~

02-25-2004	#7
psychoDiablo Thx for the memories Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 15,971 Rep Power: 205	Re: Answering Machine Messages haha superchick. that one is funny. think i'm using number 8. __________________ I wouldn't say I'm psycho only because I'm able to handle it. Now learn patience To chill is to be chillin. Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.) \|-Mr.MCR-\| Will you write Will you love Will you enjoy Life when I am gone? You will. by Angelina "I have lived life as horrible as it was, and as beautiful as it has become."

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