lame jokes.

moocow44 · 04-11-2003

I heard these jokes from this one kid that is in my Biology class at school today...they are kinda funny, I thought I'd share them.

A pretzel was walking down the street today...he was assalted.

A family of tomatoes is talking a walk...the family consists of a mother tomato, father tomato, and a child tomato. The child tomato is going a bit slow and is behind. The father tomato sees the child tomato is slow and kicks the child from behind...he replies..."Catch UP!"

Yes I know...lame...but funny when you never pay attention.

spadetje · 04-11-2003

lol i love the pretzel one.
dont forget about the famous: What did one raison say to the other raison? Nothing. Raisons can't talk

Weasel · 04-12-2003

My biology teacher in highschool had a ton of these to put us to sleep with.

A mushroom walked into a bar and the bartender yelled "Hey we don't serve your kind in here". The mushroom said "Why not? I'm a Fun Guy!"

moocow44 · 04-12-2003

see, my biology teacher is not funny, she tries...i think a bit too hard. Anybody else have some lame jokes?

fadingroses · 04-12-2003

A man walks into a bar.

"Ow."

Grunt · 04-12-2003

Optician walks into a bar... you'd think he'd have seen it.

Mr Stabby · 04-12-2003

haha that was good grunt, a twist on the bar joke...

Grunt · 04-12-2003

:) cheers.

horse walks into a bar. bartender asks, "why the long face?"

coldfeet · 04-12-2003

A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"

Grunt · 04-12-2003

*groan*

im going to have to shoot myself after reading these....AND contributing. what is the world coming to? GAH!

I honestly think Knock-Knock jokes are the lamest. eg:

You: Knock-Knock
Them: Who's there?
You: Boo
Them: Boo who?
You: No need to cry, its only a joke.

Grunt · 04-12-2003

man went into a pet shop. asked the owner to buy a wasp.
the owner said "we dont sell 'em"
the man said, "but theres one in the window!"

Grunt · 04-13-2003

saddams son goes shopping and comes back with it all in a box. saddam says- why is the shopping in a box? his son says - because there is no bagdad.

Eisklinge · 04-13-2003

two hotdogs are roasting on a barbeque, one hotdog says "Boy it sure is hot in here", the other says "Oh my GOD a TALKING HOTDOG"

Eisklinge · 04-13-2003

Q: Whats Brown and sticky?

A: a stick !!

Eisklinge · 04-13-2003

A duck walks into a bar and says "got any grapes?" the bartender says "no this is a bar, we dont sell grapes"

The next day the duck walks in and asks "got any grapes?" the bartender says "no this is a bar, we dont sell grapes"

The Third day the duck walks in and asks "got any grapes?" the bartender says "no this is a bar, we dont sell grapes, and if you ask that one more time im gonna nail your feet to the floor"

The fourth day the duck walks in and asks "got any nails?" the bartender says "no" the duck asks "got any grapes?"

Eisklinge · 04-13-2003

a kid on a bus asks the busdriver "if my mom was a kangaroo, and my dad was a kangaroo, then i'd be a little kangaroo",

after saying the same sentance with 35 different animals the busdriver asks " OH YEAH WELL WHAT IF YOUR DAD WAS A MALE PROSTITUTE, AND YOUR MOM WAS A HOOKER?"
the kid replies "i'd be a busdriver"

Eisklinge · 04-13-2003

Q: whats a lamb with no legs?

A: a cloud

moocow44 · 04-13-2003

god that one w/ the lamb is lame.

monster · 04-15-2003

why do giraffes have long necks?
>>cuz they have stinky feet....

what do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?
>>fucks funny...

Silent Assassin · 04-15-2003

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

It died

04-11-2003	#1
moocow44 Procrastination Street. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Oakland, CA/Milwaukee, WI Posts: 1,366 Rep Power: 36	lame jokes. I heard these jokes from this one kid that is in my Biology class at school today...they are kinda funny, I thought I'd share them. A pretzel was walking down the street today...he was assalted. A family of tomatoes is talking a walk...the family consists of a mother tomato, father tomato, and a child tomato. The child tomato is going a bit slow and is behind. The father tomato sees the child tomato is slow and kicks the child from behind...he replies..."Catch UP!" Yes I know...lame...but funny when you never pay attention.

04-11-2003	#2
spadetje pretty in life & pretty in death Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 1,582 Rep Power: 25036	lol i love the pretzel one. dont forget about the famous: What did one raison say to the other raison? Nothing. Raisons can't talk __________________ "These days, all it takes for your dreams to come true is money and power." - President Shinra, FFVII .TranceAddicted. .Hardcore.Hardstyle.Trance.

04-12-2003	#3
Weasel Ich lasse deine Nächte zum Tag werden! Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Denver Age: 36 Posts: 5,017 Rep Power: 55	My biology teacher in highschool had a ton of these to put us to sleep with. A mushroom walked into a bar and the bartender yelled "Hey we don't serve your kind in here". The mushroom said "Why not? I'm a Fun Guy!" __________________ Almost Smart Admin Email Me or PM Me

04-12-2003	#4
moocow44 Procrastination Street. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Oakland, CA/Milwaukee, WI Posts: 1,366 Rep Power: 36	see, my biology teacher is not funny, she tries...i think a bit too hard. Anybody else have some lame jokes? __________________ AXO. Fuck Your Scene. http://www.myspace.com/arikakaosa Spread The Word

04-12-2003	#6
Grunt Aye, very good Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Scotland Age: 35 Posts: 1,683 Rep Power: 45	Optician walks into a bar... you'd think he'd have seen it. __________________

04-12-2003	#5
fadingroses Well Known Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 283 Rep Power: 33	A man walks into a bar. "Ow."

04-12-2003	#7
Mr Stabby Turned out to be crazy weird Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: UK Age: 35 Posts: 8,295 Rep Power: 62	haha that was good grunt, a twist on the bar joke... __________________

04-12-2003	#9
coldfeet Member Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Vancouver, BC Age: 35 Posts: 160 Rep Power: 36	A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw" __________________ "Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures"

04-12-2003	#10
Grunt Aye, very good Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Scotland Age: 35 Posts: 1,683 Rep Power: 45	groan im going to have to shoot myself after reading these....AND contributing. what is the world coming to? GAH! I honestly think Knock-Knock jokes are the lamest. eg: You: Knock-Knock Them: Who's there? You: Boo Them: Boo who? You: No need to cry, its only a joke. __________________

04-13-2003	#12
Grunt Aye, very good Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Scotland Age: 35 Posts: 1,683 Rep Power: 45	saddams son goes shopping and comes back with it all in a box. saddam says- why is the shopping in a box? his son says - because there is no bagdad. __________________

04-13-2003	#13
Eisklinge Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Nova Scotia Age: 31 Posts: 94 Rep Power: 33	two hotdogs are roasting on a barbeque, one hotdog says "Boy it sure is hot in here", the other says "Oh my GOD a TALKING HOTDOG" __________________ Hi, I don't care. Thanks.

04-13-2003	#18
moocow44 Procrastination Street. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Oakland, CA/Milwaukee, WI Posts: 1,366 Rep Power: 36	god that one w/ the lamb is lame. __________________ AXO. Fuck Your Scene. http://www.myspace.com/arikakaosa Spread The Word

04-15-2003	#19
monster Needs to confirm E-mail address Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: closer than you think (mwuahahahahaaa) Posts: 287 Rep Power: 33	why do giraffes have long necks? >>cuz they have stinky feet.... what do you call a rabbit with a bent dick? >>fucks funny... __________________ i'm not a threat i'm a promise

04-15-2003	#20
Silent Assassin Experienced Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Huntsville, Alabama Age: 31 Posts: 314 Rep Power: 35	Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
sick jokes	Penie	Jokes & Comedy	39	01-24-2007 12:03 AM
Blonde jokes, anyone?	2fast4U	Jokes & Comedy	36	01-21-2007 06:46 PM
Getting back at blonde jokes	Grunt	Jokes & Comedy	11	01-13-2007 07:12 AM
lame lame jokes..with a bit of comedy	notlob	Jokes & Comedy	0	07-01-2004 02:19 PM
elephant jokes?	unhappy_mage	Jokes & Comedy	0	09-30-2003 10:36 PM