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Old 09-27-2005   #1
Sytrohs87
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Some Advice for the Future of My Relationship

Alright, now that I've given advice, it's my turn to get it : P .. anyway, so I've been dating this girl for seven months today :) ... we've never had any of the problems I've had in previous relationships(smothering, arguements, etc.). If we have been in arguements they're very small, and never last more than five minutes. Most all of the time they're caused by misunderstandings which we then figure out and promptly apologize to each other. We're both have passive personalities, so we've never gotten into a heated arguement and are both quick to blame ourselves for disagreements, which leads to mutual reassurance that it's not each other's fault. Everything just seems to fit with her. I'm almost at the point where I can realistically see myself being with her for at least a good five to ten years. This in turn, frightens the hell out of me because I'm always wary of long-term commitments.

Now onto my question. If we get to the point where we've been together for over a year and we don't forsee any kind of breakup in the future, should we take time apart to try dating other people? I'm just afraid that we're both fooling ourselves into believing something that's too good to be true. I just want opinions on if we should find out whether or not other relationships have that same spark that ours does, now that we're a little bit older and a little bit wiser. This would be just in an attempt to avoid possible shooting down of expectations that could arise from a false sense of relationship security. What does everyone think?
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Old 09-27-2005   #2
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Re: Some Advice for the Future of My Relationship

why change something that is going good?
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Old 09-28-2005   #3
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Re: Some Advice for the Future of My Relationship

What he said ^


I think you should only take a break if you are getting a bit too much for each other. If there isn't anything wrong with your relationship then why take a break? If you are scared of commitment then take it slow and let her know how you feel about everything. The worst thing you can do is keep it all in and just do what she wants. Talk about it and decide what you want to do, though suggesting a break might make her worry whether your having second thoughts.

Besides, if you are truely happy together, I wouldn't have thought you would want to date other people...
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Old 09-28-2005   #4
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Re: Some Advice for the Future of My Relationship

Thanks guys. I am just afraid of commitment, I think. We aren't suffocating each other at all, so I suppose you're right. I haven't ever kept anything from her, so much so that I feel completely naked when I'm with her. It's a wonderful feeling to be so comfortable with someone that you can just lay who you are in your entirety out in front of her and not worry about being judged. Again, thank you all for your advice; it's given my negatively-tinted personality some much needed assurance.
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Old 09-29-2005   #5
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Re: Some Advice for the Future of My Relationship

Hope things work out for you.
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Old 09-29-2005   #6
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Re: Some Advice for the Future of My Relationship

If it's going well, keep hoping for the best.

Don't stop the relationship for any reason.

There is still development going on between you two, trust me.

The more time that you spend together, the more you will learn about each other, good or bad...hopefully good.
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Old 10-01-2005   #7
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Re: Some Advice for the Future of My Relationship

Pick-up line test dummy:
"My two favourite things are commitment and changing myself"

Woman: *pashes dummy*

Leila: "Does he have a brother?"

I felt that fitted into the general discussion of commitment. Sorry, I'll keep my futurama quotes to myself...

The less you do/say special things, the more special they become. They get boring after a while if you do/say them as much as you want to.
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