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Old 12-05-2003   #1
superchicken002
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knots in my stomach...

Okay, I know I posted one before asking for advice on sex... but we havent even gotten to that point...
lately...

he just seems to be trying to make me jealous. He gets mad if I ask him if we are ok. I asked him that and he got angry and asked me why I am asking him that.... I told him that it is just different lately, and said I didnt know how to put it into words how it was different really. He then said well if you dont know I dont know. So I told him it was different because he doesnt pay as much attention to me as he used to. I know its just our relationship growing and we are changing as a couple, but I still want that attention (he gives it when we are one on one but it front of people not really). He said we were fine and he thought he had been paying more attention to me lately than he has ever before.

Today he was in a bad mood. He seemed to be getting angry at everything and I too was quite stressed so his bad mood was making me more and more depressed. I then sat down and told him we needed to talk... I told him "I KNOW WE ARE NOT OK" and he said he never said that and he asked me what I wanted him to say. I told him I just wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling, and he said I feel the same. He said that he still felt the same about me, and he knew that I was beginning to feel different about him...

I love him. I know I do. I trust him completely but lately he is just driving me crazy because he is making me jealous in so many ways (this new girl at his work being first and for most). I HAVE KNOTS IN MY STOMACH.

I feel like I am so nervous about our relationship that I dont think we are okay, but I want it to all turn out alright. I would do anything for him but I dont want to be treated like I am just his "there no matter what" girl... that he can leave me and come back no matter what.

Should I be as worked up about this as I am? It makes me so sick thinking that we are leaving things unsettled between us... I dont know for sure if this is just our relationship changing or what. Any advice on how to help the relationship, spice things up, get him more focused on me...? (keeping in mind he feels the same but now it just all seems routine... and I dont want routine).

thanks for any help...
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Old 12-05-2003   #2
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Re: knots in my stomach...

Give it time. You should refuse to be that "there no matter what" girl but don't take it up with him until things have settled down. Everything will work out to how it was meant to be eventually. Maybe he is trying to decide what he really wants, convince him that it is you. But if he continues to treat you like crap in public then put your foot down.
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Old 12-05-2003   #3
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Re: knots in my stomach...

Quote:
Originally Said by Weasel
Maybe he is trying to decide what he really wants, convince him that it is you. But if he continues to treat you like crap in public then put your foot down.
That's some great advice. In a way, I kinda know what you are going through. I was with a guy that when we were alone together everything was GREAT. As soon as one or two of his friends showed up, it was if I wasn't even alive. I don't want to scare you or anything, but I was with my ex for about 4 months before I found out that he was cheated on me with all these different girls. I tried to just blow it off and ignore it. It was hard to accept and you better believe that when I found out I called him just about every name under the sun. But Weasel is right, if he does continue to treat you like shit in public, there is no reason for you to put up with it. Confront him...in front of who ever it is. Let him know that you won't allow him to treat you like his "no matter what" girl.

You should give it time though. But, if you ask me, if he doesn't change...leave. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
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Old 12-06-2003   #4
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Re: knots in my stomach...

M75 used to do that to me in front of his friends... my advice is to be very very precise about what bothers you. Guys often don't even realize what they're doing. It's auto "man gotta impress his friends" mode. They don't think, "this could hurt my girl's feelings." So if you say, "I don't know what's bothering me, I feel like you're being more distant than usual," he's most likely not going to put two and two together. You need to say something like, "I feel like you treat me differently around your friends, and it hurts my feelings."

It took awhile for me to voice that to M75, but once I did, he's treated me the same around his friends as he does when we're alone.
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Old 12-07-2003   #5
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Re: knots in my stomach...

i agree

tight as a virgin- look at my thread, i could use yor help

i hate it when that stuff happens to me with my g/f
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