Almost Smart  

Go Back   Almost Smart > Media Room > Writer's Corner

Writer's Corner The pen is mightier than the sword. Post your writings or poetry. Also discuss your favorite authors or books.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-05-2004   #1
Mr Stabby
Turned out to be crazy weird
 
Mr Stabby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: UK
Age: 34
Posts: 8,295
Rep Power: 61
Mr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond repute
2 about death..

Right here we have 2 poems of mine to deal with death, one being from the point of my near death nearly 4 years ago an the other is similar to a piece I did a lil while back...enjoy..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a finished piece which started many years ago.....4 years this october to be exact...I wrote a few lines down when I was in hospital, on the brink of death...I buried them away fro years...an I just this minute uncovered them an found an ending..

This is heavily influenced with my near death years ago...so please save heavy critism...just for the sake of respect of how it came to be..

heres the original lines I wrote on my near deathbed..

"I feel my life slipping away,
it feels weird, yet not scary,
I almost want this, yet not,
just tell my parents good bye for me..."

Now here is the finished poem..

The End

I am unwell, I don't know if I can go on,
they say they don't know whats wrong,
but I do, i know that deep inside..

I sense the unrest, I can almost taste it,
I can feal deaths clammy hand on my shoulder,
his hot breath on my neck, it makes my stomach turn..

I feel my life slipping away,
it feels weird, yet not scary,
I almost want this, yet not..

just tell my parents goodbye for me...

--->Dean 'Psychosis' Shepherd<---

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

This is kinda last my piece/song 'The Final Battle'....its an angry piece completely apart from the previous poem, which was calm and somber...

Fuck you Death!!

Bring it on bitch!
you cant take me away,
not this time
not ever..

I am not going anywhere,
you will not win,
I shall fight you to the bitter end,
an beyond that still..

beyond the bounderies of time,
beyond the limits of ourselfs,
you will push me,
an I will push right back..

I will not go quietly into the night,
not like the others before me,
I will pick my sword up,
an will defend my life..

To the bitter sweet end,
you have no hope,
but I do, an I will not let it go,
not while my hand can still lift my sword..

Your scythe cuts into my flesh,
drawing blood forth,
but yet I still fight,
to the end,

Where we will both be bloody an battered,
breathing heavily, sweat pouring down,
both nearly too tired to carry on,
but yet you do for sense of duty..

An I swing again, an make contact,
cutting deep into your flesh, not bone,
you are weak, I can see it in your eyes,
you are just like me..

But this time you have lost,
and with my last blow,
you fall to your knees,
but this time not getting back up...

--->Dean 'Psychosis' Shepherd<---
__________________

Last edited by Mr Stabby; 07-05-2004 at 06:56 PM.
Mr Stabby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-05-2004   #2
Forscene
Junior Member
 
Forscene's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 90
Rep Power: 29
Forscene will become famous soon enough
Re: 2 about death..

Once again, Very good work. I like the second one the best.
Forscene is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-05-2004   #3
Wobbie
Is Back
 
Wobbie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Australia
Age: 38
Posts: 4,580
Rep Power: 52
Wobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via Yahoo to Wobbie
Re: 2 about death..

wow, the last line in The End is so powerful. I had to stop for a few seconds after reading it to regain my composure.

The second one, like your other poem 'War' again uses great imagery. You tell a great story Deanie-boy. Awesome stuff.
Wobbie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-05-2004   #4
Mr Stabby
Turned out to be crazy weird
 
Mr Stabby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: UK
Age: 34
Posts: 8,295
Rep Power: 61
Mr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond repute
Re: 2 about death..

cheers guys...an yeah I reread tghe final stanza to 'the end' when I just found it...an it left me speechless an it brought all those feelings I had at the time back...
__________________
Mr Stabby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-05-2004   #5
tynie
You're Klaus Nomi, I'm Etta James
 
tynie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Long Island, New York
Posts: 3,066
Rep Power: 50
tynie has a reputation beyond reputetynie has a reputation beyond reputetynie has a reputation beyond reputetynie has a reputation beyond reputetynie has a reputation beyond reputetynie has a reputation beyond reputetynie has a reputation beyond reputetynie has a reputation beyond reputetynie has a reputation beyond reputetynie has a reputation beyond reputetynie has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via AIM to tynie Send a message via MSN to tynie Send a message via Yahoo to tynie
Re: 2 about death..

i'm loving the first one and the second one paints a loverly picture
__________________
What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.-Choke, Chuck Palahniuk
tynie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-06-2004   #6
Sython
Junior Member
 
Sython's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Canada!
Posts: 98
Rep Power: 29
Sython is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Sython
Re: 2 about death..

love your work!! keep it up ;)
__________________
My Life Is A Puzzle, And I Have Lost The Pieces.
Sython is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2004   #7
Mr Stabby
Turned out to be crazy weird
 
Mr Stabby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: UK
Age: 34
Posts: 8,295
Rep Power: 61
Mr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond repute
Re: 2 about death..

thanks people, all comments are good comments I say, but that doesnt really work to well here coz all the comments have been good ones lol

Well im off now...school grrr..
__________________
Mr Stabby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2004   #8
Mr Stabby
Turned out to be crazy weird
 
Mr Stabby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: UK
Age: 34
Posts: 8,295
Rep Power: 61
Mr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond repute
Re: 2 about death..

Quote:
Originally Said by purplefurryfreek
what happened four years ago?
major abdominal complaications, I can't say more than that coz what I had was a rare case....an they also never gave me a name for it.....lets just say I was knocking on deaths door for a few weeks.....I honestly shit you not there ........
__________________
Mr Stabby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2004   #9
Wobbie
Is Back
 
Wobbie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Australia
Age: 38
Posts: 4,580
Rep Power: 52
Wobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond reputeWobbie has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via Yahoo to Wobbie
Re: 2 about death..

if you were the first, they'd have to call it Crazy-Haired Guitarist Syndrome
Wobbie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2004   #10
Mr Stabby
Turned out to be crazy weird
 
Mr Stabby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: UK
Age: 34
Posts: 8,295
Rep Power: 61
Mr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond repute
Re: 2 about death..

Quote:
Originally Said by Wobbie
if you were the first, they'd have to call it Crazy-Haired Guitarist Syndrome
nah the rare part is this happens in new borns an young children, basically a part of the gut lining grows over itself cutting flow off basically screwing you up badly...

they even took a video of my operation for training purposes because it was that rare..
__________________
Mr Stabby is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Death Suicide - Nullification Of The Nervous System Blood Red Music 54 06-28-2006 07:31 PM
Who Died the Worst Death Indiana Tones Jokes & Comedy 5 03-13-2004 07:34 PM
who likes death metal? Wheels Music 12 12-22-2003 01:04 PM
Stick death... Anyone have anymore stick death stuff like this??? Gerbil 01 General 6 11-19-2003 08:12 PM
melodic death metal?? Arch Enemy Music 17 08-31-2003 06:51 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:08 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2000 - 2006, Almost Smart