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Old 08-16-2005   #1
notlob
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random mix of jokes

ok sum of these jokes people might not like but i found them all funny.

Q. How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his ass.

Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A. A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

Q. What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
A. Spitting, swallowing and gargling

Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.

Q. When is a pixie not a pixie?
A. When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin.'

Q. What makes men chase women when they have no intention of marrying?
A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars when they have no intention of driving.

Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A. No one to talk to during orgasm.

Q. What do you call a smart blonde?
A. A golden retriever.

Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade:Who has the biggest tits?
A. The blonde, because she's 18.

Q. The three words most hated by men during sex?
A. "Are you In?" or "Is It In?"

Q. Three words women hate to hear when having sex
A. "Honey, I'm home!"

Q. Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A. Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

Q. Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
A. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.

Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went..

Q. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep.
A. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Q. How can you tell a macho women?
A. She rolls her own tampons.
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Old 08-16-2005   #2
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Re: random mix of jokes

man there pretty good where did u get teh inspiration for em or did u see em on a site or tv? (not calling u a copy cat but just wondering)
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Old 08-16-2005   #3
notlob
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Re: random mix of jokes

most from the net....but sum were thought up and were fukin funny
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Old 08-16-2005   #4
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Re: random mix of jokes

these are pretty good, hash. xD
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Old 01-05-2008   #5
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Re: random mix of jokes

haha i just came across these jokes i posted years ago

they're funny enough to be brought back from he grave for a second viewing methinks
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Old 01-05-2008   #6
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Re: random mix of jokes

Haha yeah, definately worth the ressurection.

Definately.
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Old 01-05-2008   #7
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Re: random mix of jokes

LAwll
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Old 01-05-2008   #8
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Re: random mix of jokes



^ This is my favorite joke ^
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Old 01-05-2008   #9
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Re: random mix of jokes

yea, pretty funny...
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Old 01-06-2008   #10
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Re: random mix of jokes

Q. whats 40 feet long and has an I.Q of 40?
A. A blonde parade
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Old 01-12-2008   #11
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Re: random mix of jokes

Q: how do you kill a sub full of dumb blondes?
A: Knock on the hatch

Q: how do you drown a dumb blonde?
A:put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

this is one of those good ol` fashioned story jokes.

One day a woman was walking down the street when she saw a funeral going on, she thought it was the strangest thing. there was one hearse, followed by a elderly woman walking a pitbull, followed by another hearse, followed by 200 women walking in line. She walks up to the woman and says
"whats going on here"
the woman replies
"that hearse up there is my husband, the pitbull killed him when it found him with his girlfriend, shes in that hearse, back there"
so she says
"can i borrow that dog?"
and the elderly lady says
"get in line"
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Old 01-15-2008   #12
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Re: random mix of jokes

what do you call 3 black guys sitting in a barn??
antique farm equipment
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Old 01-15-2008   #13
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Re: random mix of jokes

Q: Why is a racist like a drunk?
A: Cos whatever they say ends in a slur.
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