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Old 05-24-2012   #201
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

Did things really used to be much better?
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Old 05-25-2012   #202
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

My deepest apologies and congratulations, dear lads and lasses!

This old man had long and hitherto fallen into a deep and unstoppable sleep--a sleep bedraggled with dreams of one who is not awake or conscious, nor very comfortable upon his pillows! Dark, it was, ever so dark... and not light at all! There, in that, the darkest of places, I wandered about in someone else's dream--The dream of one none other than Sigismund Schlomo Freud! Amidst the dreamland of my mind--or his mind, as it was--I bustled about, both hither and tither, as my-his own mother, concocting cloying cakes and candies, singing "Auf Die Alma Geh I Aufe," and hanging colorful trousers and stockings upon the clothesline! Terrible, terrible!

Upon my waking--with quite a start indeed!--a worrisome craving for biscuits besieged my belly! Thus is the moral, my young friends, that this elderly man shall now pass onward to you: Always consume one morning biscuit before bed! Or, as they say in Asia, "What's good for the body, is good for the feet!"

Quote:
Originally Said by EmperorChaos View Post
That's funnier than a petunia playing a bantha!
WHAT... FEATHERY NONSENSE!! *Coughing fit, sleep, laborious throat-clearing*

It is a truth universally acknowledged that oll petunias are science-fictional, dear boy! Even you ought to know that, my lad, since your nose is always on a scientific book-page! *Tries to make a "tisk, tisk" sound, but isn't awake to make it anymore*

Quote:
Originally Said by Savage_Nature View Post
Oh great wise one, many I have asked, but none have presented an answer to my dilemma. How do you know my dimwitted inexperience isn't a subtle form of manipulation used to lower peoples expectations thereby enhancing my ability to maneuver myself within any given situation?
42, dear boy! Simply... 42!

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Originally Said by Psychosis View Post
*dances* OH HELL YEA!!....thats right outa Scream that is!...Scream 2 if im not mistaken...or maybe 3....I cant remember its been a long time lol...Deputy Dewey Riley...best guy for LITERALLY stabbing in the back hahaha

Anyway my question is a little more than just a stolen movie quote ....due to the song that im listening to right now (Power Rangers Full Theme Tune) Which one of the Power Rangers could kick your wise old butt?....and we're talking the original team....of Jason, Billy, Zack, Kimberly, Trini...oh an MAYBE Tommy (in green ranger guise, not the later white ranger...as green ranger was so much cooler)..
Dear boy...

Power Rangers, like postmen and African rain sticks, are the stuff of ancient mythograms! (Mythograms, dear ones, are myths that have been scribed, in turquoise-orange ochre, upon the walls of seaside caves in Northeast Ireland and some coastal cities of a province known as Utah!) Tarry not in the ways of unfriendly myths, dear ones! They will lead you to purchase more Koolaid packages than you can ever afford or consume! Pestiferous drink!! Pour it all down the drain! Every last drop!

Quote:
Originally Said by Christian View Post
Did things really used to be much better?
Yes, dear boy! All the good things that have ever existed existed in a realm known as Back In The Day, my lad! Only ancient souls have beheld its grandeur, sampled its mellifluous tastes and odours, gorged upon its mystical vegetables and fruits (and fruits that were, even in that age, often mistaken for vegetables), and basked in the satisfaction of trudging for 100 miles in 87 feet of snow, barefoot, shirtless, and naked!

On the other side of the turn, dear lad, the past does not exist! All we have is this present moment... Jiminy Crickets! That's gone! Chase the present, dear boy! Make haste! Don't let it escape! Beat it! BEAT IT TO THE GROUND WITH A SCYTHE OR TROUT!!

Now... back to business...

*Sleep*
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Last edited by Zanahoria_Picante; 05-25-2012 at 01:33 AM.
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Old 05-25-2012   #203
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

Old man, wizened sage, I ask of thee: How long should I grow my beard?
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Old 05-25-2012   #204
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

Quote:
Originally Said by Zanahoria_Picante View Post
Dear boy...

Power Rangers, like postmen and African rain sticks, are the stuff of ancient mythograms! (Mythograms, dear ones, are myths that have been scribed, in turquoise-orange ochre, upon the walls of seaside caves in Northeast Ireland and some coastal cities of a province known as Utah!) Tarry not in the ways of unfriendly myths, dear ones! They will lead you to purchase more Koolaid packages than you can ever afford or consume! Pestiferous drink!! Pour it all down the drain! Every last drop!
seriously...what are the odds that you answered a question I put forth...christ I don't know how long ago..(I shall have to check)...on the same day that I just happened to pop back..

its the wise old sage's magic that is!

EDIT: 05-04-2010 was my post....christ...a while ago..
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Old 05-25-2012   #205
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

Quote:
Originally Said by EmperorChaos View Post
Old man, wizened sage, I ask of thee: How long should I grow my beard?
Beards do not grow, my lad. It is you who grows smaller!

Nonetheless, 12 3/4 metres, my lad, is the standard length for those who speak American, British, Elvish, Cat, or Finnish!


Quote:
Originally Said by Psychosis View Post
seriously...what are the odds that you answered a question I put forth...christ I don't know how long ago..(I shall have to check)...on the same day that I just happened to pop back..

its the wise old sage's magic that is!

EDIT: 05-04-2010 was my post....christ...a while ago..
(That is so uncanny!! The odds of that seem pretty freakin' slim. o.O Spooky.)

My dear lad. Beware of sage-ly magic! You shall find none of that FEATHERY! NONSENSE! perpetrated by this old fellow. Magic is only for hippies and Oprah Winfrey, my lad. Never carry a large stick! Speak very loudly indeed!
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Old 05-26-2012   #206
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

Dear wise one, I have another question:

If a cow would be flying around a tornado -because she was used as a kite or maybe because she did that just for fun to be in a wedding photo- would she land in a field in Munchkin Country, too? Would she be allowed to stay in there there or are there circumstances that require her to follow the yellow road as well?
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Old 05-26-2012   #207
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

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Dear wise one, I have another question:

If a cow would be flying around a tornado -because she was used as a kite or maybe because she did that just for fun to be in a wedding photo- would she land in a field in Munchkin Country, too? Would she be allowed to stay in there there or are there circumstances that require her to follow the yellow road as well?
My dear boy...

No more potato crisps for you! Right this moment, march yourself to the kitchen--that's right, there you go--and gather them up, gather up all the potato crisp satchels, crinkle by crinkle and crunch by crunch! Snatch them up! Now, out the the window they go! Defenestrate them! Defenestrate every last crisp! Yes, dear boy, even the ones between the couch cushions...

Now, onto your question:

Yes, dear boy. Any object that is unhappy enough to end up inside a tornady is transported straight to The Land of Oz! Having lived as a cow in a previous life, this elderly man can attest: No cow who enters the Land of Oz ever returns!

Beware, dear boy! Danger lies around every turn.
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Old 05-27-2012   #208
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

Once riding a tornado and landing in The Land of Oz, do cows still produce milk or is the outcome rather milkshake-y? ..or is it where whipped cream comes from?
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Old 05-28-2012   #209
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

Do you really like that alot? Or do you just like that alot a lot more than, say, some other alot?
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Old 05-28-2012   #210
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

heres a question oh wisest of the wise sages...

whats my login details for my original account on here under the name Mr Stabby?

be dammed if I can remember
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Old 05-29-2012   #211
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

Kind sir, why did the chicken cross the road? And did he ever accomplish his task?
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Old 06-02-2012   #212
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

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Do you really like that alot? Or do you just like that alot a lot more than, say, some other alot?

Random Google finding ^_^
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Old 06-02-2012   #213
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

^ That's from the blog Hyperbole and a Half. She's AMAZING.
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Old 04-15-2013   #214
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

uhh, what on Earth is going on around here?
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Old 04-23-2013   #215
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

^ Good question. Dear elderly, what's going on around here?
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