This is in the works.

psychoDiablo · 09-28-2004

[1]you ready for a head change?
dont play this game.
well you have to.
born into it for life.
give up life.
in fact give it to me
if you cant see
what should be
the simplest of all things
created for all and me.
Beauty.
[2]
[3]Now just chill.
Relax.
Smile more often
You cant believe you're alive.

-------------------------------------------------
aight, so i figure this shit is going to be at least 3 stanzas. problem is, i only have half.
now i'm not looking for any of you to finish it. I just need an idea to go after [1].

this piece is really the only piece i've written in months.. i dont know why, but i've stopped writing. and everytime i try to write, there's nothing for me.
writersblock? fucked if i know..

anyways, help is very appreciated. any idea = a good one. what do you thinK?

Thoughtcrime · 09-28-2004

Is it a song?

psychoDiablo · 09-29-2004

no.
just read it straight thru th efirst time.
doesnt it feel as if there should be another something there?

i mean it fits a complete thought to me, but i feel there should be something else after to ...fuckin...for lack of a better word, prove what im' thinking.

though i would not call it a poem either. think im heading into just writing rhymes and lines. ya knwo?

Kali · 09-30-2004

what are you writing about?

psychoDiablo · 09-30-2004

haha.

i guess how people can't really be themselves. ya know? in a way.
They act as if life really is that hard. It isn't. It just isn't fair in how it decides to work. Then people get mad. They say forget it, and they move on thru their life. I guess i'm looking for happiness. I see it everyday being destroyed.
What's beauty to you? Wouldn't that contribute to you being happy?

Nature to me, is th emost beautiful. It doesn't ever fuck up. It just is and that's it.
I think it's lovely.

Guess i'm learning how to deal with the rest of my life.

Thoughtcrime · 09-30-2004

It's poetry? I think you need to decide whether to rhyme or not. Becuase right now it sounds like you can't decide. Even though that can be powerful in some cases you need to refine it so it doesn't sound accidental.

Kali · 10-01-2004

Quote:

Originally Said by psychoDiablo2

haha.

i guess how people can't really be themselves. ya know? in a way.
They act as if life really is that hard. It isn't. It just isn't fair in how it decides to work. Then people get mad. They say forget it, and they move on thru their life. I guess i'm looking for happiness. I see it everyday being destroyed.
What's beauty to you? Wouldn't that contribute to you being happy?

Nature to me, is th emost beautiful. It doesn't ever fuck up. It just is and that's it.
I think it's lovely.

Guess i'm learning how to deal with the rest of my life.

scrap the poem.

use that.

psychoDiablo · 10-01-2004

thanks anyways.

but watch.
i got it.

just give me a couple more days

moocow44 · 10-01-2004

go with it dude, if you are confident in it...work it out.

psychoDiablo · 10-19-2004

You ready for a head change?
Don't play this game.
Well you have to
Born into it for life
Give up life.
In fact give it to me
If you can't see
What should be
The simplest of all things
Created for all and me.
Beauty.

One literally with nature.
Don't hate you
You somehow care.
It's the order of things
Or is it,
How do you make things?
However you want things
Whatever is everything
I like nothing.
Crazy?
I said it was the order of things
To be one with nature.
Loving all that's around you
With no extra cost
But only the loss
Of your own life.
And that's okay.

[3]

Now just chill.
Relax.
Smile more often
You cant believe you're alive.

::Still not done.::

RubberDucky55 · 10-19-2004

really nice job! i liked this part:
"To be one with nature.
Loving all that's around you
With no extra cost
But only the loss
Of your own life."

yeah, haha, again, great job!

superchicken002 · 10-20-2004

I love it Matt..

This is what I was talking about.. the more you expand it.. the more amazing it will be. If you choose to read it in that form, ya know? Keep writing on it. It's good.

psychoDiablo · 10-20-2004

i actually wrote those pieces way before you mentioned slam poetry.

i knew somewhere out there they were doing the same thing! lol nah.

but it's wierd how i had it goin, and then i hear about it. good to work on now. a new style i can appreciate. not that i dont about writing..*kali*

jk.

09-28-2004	#1
psychoDiablo Thx for the memories Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 15,971 Rep Power: 201	This is in the works. [1]you ready for a head change? dont play this game. well you have to. born into it for life. give up life. in fact give it to me if you cant see what should be the simplest of all things created for all and me. Beauty. [2] [3]Now just chill. Relax. Smile more often You cant believe you're alive. ------------------------------------------------- aight, so i figure this shit is going to be at least 3 stanzas. problem is, i only have half. now i'm not looking for any of you to finish it. I just need an idea to go after [1]. this piece is really the only piece i've written in months.. i dont know why, but i've stopped writing. and everytime i try to write, there's nothing for me. writersblock? fucked if i know.. anyways, help is very appreciated. any idea = a good one. what do you thinK? __________________ I wouldn't say I'm psycho only because I'm able to handle it. Now learn patience To chill is to be chillin. Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.) \|-Mr.MCR-\| Will you write Will you love Will you enjoy Life when I am gone? You will. by Angelina "I have lived life as horrible as it was, and as beautiful as it has become."

09-28-2004	#2
Thoughtcrime I grew up to be black. Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Oregon, U.S.A. Age: 30 Posts: 7,252 Rep Power: 99	Re: This is in the works. Is it a song? __________________

09-29-2004	#3
psychoDiablo Thx for the memories Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 15,971 Rep Power: 201	Re: This is in the works. no. just read it straight thru th efirst time. doesnt it feel as if there should be another something there? i mean it fits a complete thought to me, but i feel there should be something else after to ...fuckin...for lack of a better word, prove what im' thinking. though i would not call it a poem either. think im heading into just writing rhymes and lines. ya knwo? __________________ I wouldn't say I'm psycho only because I'm able to handle it. Now learn patience To chill is to be chillin. Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.) \|-Mr.MCR-\| Will you write Will you love Will you enjoy Life when I am gone? You will. by Angelina "I have lived life as horrible as it was, and as beautiful as it has become."

09-30-2004	#4
Kali groingrabbingly good! Join Date: Dec 2003 Age: 33 Posts: 3,502 Rep Power: 63	Re: This is in the works. what are you writing about?

09-30-2004	#5
psychoDiablo Thx for the memories Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 15,971 Rep Power: 201	Re: This is in the works. haha. i guess how people can't really be themselves. ya know? in a way. They act as if life really is that hard. It isn't. It just isn't fair in how it decides to work. Then people get mad. They say forget it, and they move on thru their life. I guess i'm looking for happiness. I see it everyday being destroyed. What's beauty to you? Wouldn't that contribute to you being happy? Nature to me, is th emost beautiful. It doesn't ever fuck up. It just is and that's it. I think it's lovely. Guess i'm learning how to deal with the rest of my life. __________________ I wouldn't say I'm psycho only because I'm able to handle it. Now learn patience To chill is to be chillin. Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.) \|-Mr.MCR-\| Will you write Will you love Will you enjoy Life when I am gone? You will. by Angelina "I have lived life as horrible as it was, and as beautiful as it has become."

09-30-2004	#6
Thoughtcrime I grew up to be black. Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Oregon, U.S.A. Age: 30 Posts: 7,252 Rep Power: 99	Re: This is in the works. It's poetry? I think you need to decide whether to rhyme or not. Becuase right now it sounds like you can't decide. Even though that can be powerful in some cases you need to refine it so it doesn't sound accidental. __________________

10-01-2004	#8
psychoDiablo Thx for the memories Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 15,971 Rep Power: 201	Re: This is in the works. thanks anyways. but watch. i got it. just give me a couple more days __________________ I wouldn't say I'm psycho only because I'm able to handle it. Now learn patience To chill is to be chillin. Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.) \|-Mr.MCR-\| Will you write Will you love Will you enjoy Life when I am gone? You will. by Angelina "I have lived life as horrible as it was, and as beautiful as it has become."

10-01-2004	#9
moocow44 Procrastination Street. Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Oakland, CA/Milwaukee, WI Posts: 1,366 Rep Power: 36	Re: This is in the works. go with it dude, if you are confident in it...work it out. __________________ AXO. Fuck Your Scene. http://www.myspace.com/arikakaosa Spread The Word

10-19-2004	#10
psychoDiablo Thx for the memories Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 15,971 Rep Power: 201	Re: This is in the works. You ready for a head change? Don't play this game. Well you have to Born into it for life Give up life. In fact give it to me If you can't see What should be The simplest of all things Created for all and me. Beauty. One literally with nature. Don't hate you You somehow care. It's the order of things Or is it, How do you make things? However you want things Whatever is everything I like nothing. Crazy? I said it was the order of things To be one with nature. Loving all that's around you With no extra cost But only the loss Of your own life. And that's okay. [3] Now just chill. Relax. Smile more often You cant believe you're alive. ::Still not done.:: __________________ I wouldn't say I'm psycho only because I'm able to handle it. Now learn patience To chill is to be chillin. Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.) \|-Mr.MCR-\| Will you write Will you love Will you enjoy Life when I am gone? You will. by Angelina "I have lived life as horrible as it was, and as beautiful as it has become."

10-19-2004	#11
RubberDucky55 Almost Smart Master Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Sewanee, TN/Redmond, WA Age: 31 Posts: 2,236 Rep Power: 47	Re: This is in the works. really nice job! i liked this part: "To be one with nature. Loving all that's around you With no extra cost But only the loss Of your own life." yeah, haha, again, great job! __________________ Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven't got a brain? Scarecrow: I don't know... But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they? Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right. MaNahMahNa

10-20-2004	#12
superchicken002 Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: New Mexico Age: 34 Posts: 1,025 Rep Power: 37	Re: This is in the works. I love it Matt.. This is what I was talking about.. the more you expand it.. the more amazing it will be. If you choose to read it in that form, ya know? Keep writing on it. It's good. __________________ My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, so won't you kill me, so I die happy.

10-20-2004	#13
psychoDiablo Thx for the memories Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 15,971 Rep Power: 201	Re: This is in the works. i actually wrote those pieces way before you mentioned slam poetry. i knew somewhere out there they were doing the same thing! lol nah. but it's wierd how i had it goin, and then i hear about it. good to work on now. a new style i can appreciate. not that i dont about writing..kali jk. __________________ I wouldn't say I'm psycho only because I'm able to handle it. Now learn patience To chill is to be chillin. Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.) \|-Mr.MCR-\| Will you write Will you love Will you enjoy Life when I am gone? You will. by Angelina "I have lived life as horrible as it was, and as beautiful as it has become."

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Computers seized in anti-piracy sweep	Twilight	Front Page	4	04-25-2004 11:57 PM
Jesus: The Messiah or just another liar...	Deuxmakina	Debate & Politics	74	03-22-2004 08:31 PM
look at it if u want	psychoDiablo	Writer's Corner	6	03-12-2004 02:12 AM
Obscene smilies	Nadine	Guys & Gals	85	06-21-2003 11:59 PM
Spore Works	stonedfish	Marijuana etc...	12	07-19-2002 08:53 PM