Almost Smart  

Go Back   Almost Smart > The Lounge > Jokes & Comedy

Jokes & Comedy Funny stuff.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-01-2005   #1
ag0ny
Drowning in your awe
 
ag0ny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ontario
Age: 34
Posts: 2,595
Rep Power: 43
ag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via MSN to ag0ny
Men/Women English 101

Men's English:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry.
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy.
3. I am tired = I am tired.
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage.
5. I love you = Let's have sex now.
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.

Women's English:

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want...
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble.
7. Sure, go ahead = You'd better not.
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later.
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
__________________
B r e a k O n T h r o u g h . . .

T o T h e O t h e r S i d e . . .
ag0ny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2005   #2
thor
Member
 
thor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Age: 33
Posts: 108
Rep Power: 30
thor is doing greatthor is doing great
Re: Men/Women English 101

So if I girl says no she wont have sex with me then it means she will?

Cause no apparently means yes...
thor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2005   #3
ag0ny
Drowning in your awe
 
ag0ny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ontario
Age: 34
Posts: 2,595
Rep Power: 43
ag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via MSN to ag0ny
Re: Men/Women English 101

you moron.
__________________
B r e a k O n T h r o u g h . . .

T o T h e O t h e r S i d e . . .
ag0ny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2005   #4
Funk*Sonic*7
Im super cereal!
 
Funk*Sonic*7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Randomly by chance out of nowhere, b/c that's more plausible
Posts: 3,749
Rep Power: 63
Funk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Men/Women English 101

Well you just painted a pretty picture of men & women:

You pretty much are saying that men are all predators & all women suffer from extreme mental illness(es).
Funk*Sonic*7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2005   #5
ag0ny
Drowning in your awe
 
ag0ny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ontario
Age: 34
Posts: 2,595
Rep Power: 43
ag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via MSN to ag0ny
Re: Men/Women English 101

and?
__________________
B r e a k O n T h r o u g h . . .

T o T h e O t h e r S i d e . . .
ag0ny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2005   #6
Funk*Sonic*7
Im super cereal!
 
Funk*Sonic*7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Randomly by chance out of nowhere, b/c that's more plausible
Posts: 3,749
Rep Power: 63
Funk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Men/Women English 101

and you're joking right?
Funk*Sonic*7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2005   #7
ag0ny
Drowning in your awe
 
ag0ny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Ontario
Age: 34
Posts: 2,595
Rep Power: 43
ag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond reputeag0ny has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via MSN to ag0ny
Re: Men/Women English 101

am i?
__________________
B r e a k O n T h r o u g h . . .

T o T h e O t h e r S i d e . . .
ag0ny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2005   #8
Yugoloth
-----
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: California
Age: 35
Posts: 2,150
Rep Power: 78
Yugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via AIM to Yugoloth
Re: Men/Women English 101

Quote:
Originally Said by funksonic7
and you're joking right?
it's, like, the jokes and comedy section, dude. duh.
Yugoloth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2005   #9
Funk*Sonic*7
Im super cereal!
 
Funk*Sonic*7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Randomly by chance out of nowhere, b/c that's more plausible
Posts: 3,749
Rep Power: 63
Funk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond reputeFunk*Sonic*7 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Men/Women English 101

Quote:
Originally Said by ag0ny
am i?
Well you're either joking or you're a switch hitter who has a poor judge of character & doesn't know how to pick em'
Funk*Sonic*7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-12-2005   #10
Indiana Tones
Almost Smart Master
 
Indiana Tones's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Pittsburgh
Age: 33
Posts: 2,379
Rep Power: 45
Indiana Tones has a reputation beyond reputeIndiana Tones has a reputation beyond reputeIndiana Tones has a reputation beyond reputeIndiana Tones has a reputation beyond reputeIndiana Tones has a reputation beyond reputeIndiana Tones has a reputation beyond reputeIndiana Tones has a reputation beyond reputeIndiana Tones has a reputation beyond reputeIndiana Tones has a reputation beyond reputeIndiana Tones has a reputation beyond reputeIndiana Tones has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via AIM to Indiana Tones Send a message via Yahoo to Indiana Tones
Re: Men/Women English 101

Don't analyze jokes, man. They lose all purpose when you do. And don't pick fights in the Jokes forum; it's supposed to be a happy and fun place.
__________________
Haldo!
Indiana Tones is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2005   #11
Mr Stabby
Turned out to be crazy weird
 
Mr Stabby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: UK
Age: 35
Posts: 8,295
Rep Power: 62
Mr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond reputeMr Stabby has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Men/Women English 101

Quote:
Originally Said by funksonic7
Well you're either joking or you're a switch hitter who has a poor judge of character & doesn't know how to pick em'
you need to be shot.....it seems we have a male version of zion...

your not blonde by any chance are you funky?
__________________
Mr Stabby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2005   #12
psychoDiablo
Thx for the memories
 
psychoDiablo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 15,971
Rep Power: 201
psychoDiablo has a reputation beyond reputepsychoDiablo has a reputation beyond reputepsychoDiablo has a reputation beyond reputepsychoDiablo has a reputation beyond reputepsychoDiablo has a reputation beyond reputepsychoDiablo has a reputation beyond reputepsychoDiablo has a reputation beyond reputepsychoDiablo has a reputation beyond reputepsychoDiablo has a reputation beyond reputepsychoDiablo has a reputation beyond reputepsychoDiablo has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via AIM to psychoDiablo Send a message via Yahoo to psychoDiablo
Re: Men/Women English 101

nah, ag0ny isn't kidding. he fucking means what he posted. he just posted in thte wrong forum and all...
__________________
I wouldn't say I'm psycho only because I'm able to handle it.
Now learn patience

To chill is to be chillin.
Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.)

|-Mr.MCR-|

Will you write
Will you love
Will you enjoy
Life when I am gone?
You will.
by Angelina

"I have lived life as horrible as it was, and as beautiful as it has become."
psychoDiablo is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
English Research Paper hai Jay General 5 03-10-2004 07:50 PM
EURO ENGLISH. <<zeypher>> Jokes & Comedy 13 06-08-2003 05:49 PM
Music Theory for Guitarists and Bassists 101 I&II RedWizard Music 4 04-25-2003 05:18 PM
more jokes! Mr Stabby Jokes & Comedy 34 04-15-2003 06:26 AM
The 101 Dumbest Moments in Business Weasel Jokes & Comedy 5 04-04-2002 10:19 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:21 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2000 - 2006, Almost Smart