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Old 02-23-2004   #1
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Super Bowl & Rude Parrot

"Super Bowl"

A fellow had 50-yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a stranger comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
"No," he says, "the seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the stranger. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"

The fellow says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The fellow shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

* * * * * * * * * *

"Rude Parrot"

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad
attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth
was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I
believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
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Old 02-23-2004   #2
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Re: Super Bowl & Rude Parrot

the rude parrot joke is great, i nearly fell off my chair
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Old 02-24-2004   #3
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Re: Super Bowl & Rude Parrot

LMAO!... I didn't fall out of my chair. But I definately have to pee now...
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Old 02-24-2004   #4
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Re: Super Bowl & Rude Parrot

the rude parrot one is hilarious!!! haha good job.
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Old 02-24-2004   #5
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Re: Super Bowl & Rude Parrot

i dont get it ! what did the turkey do ?
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Old 02-24-2004   #6
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Re: Super Bowl & Rude Parrot

lol both of those are great:)
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