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Old 02-13-2004   #1
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103 things to Annoy people

I know they are alot but they are funny !

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sensual massage.'

3. Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go.'

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of 'Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip...'

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a 'robot' voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will 'swipe your grub.'

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog 'Dog.'

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions 'to keep them tuned up.'

16. Reply to everything someone says with 'that's what YOU think.'

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your 'astronaut training.'

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for 'violating your airspace.'

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a 'real hoot.'

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and 'cc:' them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a 'spider person.'

26. Finish all your sentences with the words 'in accordance with prophesy.'

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and 'accidentally' flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you 'like it that way.'

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a 'croaking' noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of 'Sweating to the Oldies' over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with 'ooh la la!'

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write 'X - BURIED TREASURE' in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: 'Do you hear that?' 'What?' 'Never mind, it's gone now.'

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address you as 'Conquistador.'

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When Christmas caroling, sing 'Jingle Bells, Batman smells' until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says 'Magnificent One.'

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce 'no, wait, I messed it up,' and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off 'in case the big one comes.'

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as 'Feliz Navidad,' the Archies' 'Sugar' or the Mr.

Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to 'John Aaaaasmith' for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each 'a.'

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your 'superior mental processing.'

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant 'swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!'

91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your 'imaginary friend.'

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about 'psychological profiles.'

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a 'magic picture.'

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate 'crop circles' in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend 'tricorder,' and 'scan' people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

102. Call someone, ask if you dialed the number you just dialed and when they say yes say "Sorry wrong number"
Example...Bob: Hi is this 555-5556
Bobby: Yes
Bob: Sorry i got the wrong number.

103. Order 50 pizzas to the house next
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Old 02-13-2004   #2
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

Wow, I can remember downloading that list off of a BBS like seven years ago. There were some on there now that weren't back then, and some back then that aren't there now, like "When giving someone directions, tell him to take four consecutive left turns, then wave at him when he drives by you."
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Old 02-13-2004   #3
Summer Gurl
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

haha that is funny ! i dont think i could be that crule
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Old 02-13-2004   #4
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

I can't believe I actually read all those. I've done a couple of them. One of the things I do that isn't on the list is rearange words in a sentence, just to see the reactions. "How goes it?" is my favorite. And I also make up words, like everyonebody, someonebody, anyonebody, and frillericking.
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Old 02-14-2004   #5
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

15, 17, and 18. FunnY!

i hated when number 8 happened.
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Old 02-14-2004   #6
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

hehe, good stuff, now maybe you should put some of the top ways to annoy telemarketers? i.e. when they call, ask their home phone numbers so you can call them back at a better time, and when they decline, bitch at them that they now know how you feel....or tell them you have no friends, and sk them if they will be yours,that sort of thing lol.
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Old 02-14-2004   #7
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

haha to funny
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Old 02-14-2004   #8
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

uhoh; i already do some of them.

oh-well
everyone else'll just have to get over it
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Old 02-14-2004   #9
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

Quote:
Originally Said by Anti
hehe, good stuff, now maybe you should put some of the top ways to annoy telemarketers? i.e. when they call, ask their home phone numbers so you can call them back at a better time, and when they decline, bitch at them that they now know how you feel....or tell them you have no friends, and sk them if they will be yours,that sort of thing lol.
ask to call them back at a better time! lol. i never thought about that.
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Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.)

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Old 02-17-2004   #10
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

How about if you ask someone how they are every five minutes.

Pretend to juggle things while you talk to someone.

Move Increasingly closer to someone while talking until they are backed into a wall

Walk on your knees and claim you’re a midget.
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Old 02-18-2004   #11
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

Quote:
Originally Said by Ziech
How about if you ask someone how they are every five minutes.

Pretend to juggle things while you talk to someone.

Move Increasingly closer to someone while talking until they are backed into a wall

Walk on your knees and claim you’re a midget.
I would really try that get closer to them lol and yeha the knees idea great just funny ! thanks
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Old 02-20-2004   #12
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

Oh god. The midget one will leave you laughing. Just invision it. :))
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Old 02-25-2004   #13
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

Can anyone say comical genius? Cause I know I can...

When on the phone with a telemarketer, put them on "hold" and play random music into the phone while you go looking for that person.

Ask the telemarketer if they use or have used their product and if not ask why until you get them to hang up.

When talking on the phone with someone who lives close by, tell them you'll be right back then drive over to their house and ring their doorbell.

Answer help wanted ads in the paper by saying something similar to, "Hi, yes I was replying to your ad because I need help... I have my foot stuck in a pringles can."

Call up a fruit-cake company and ask what is in the fruitcakes, occasionally making rude farting noises and saying that the fruit-cake was poisoned.

I know not the best works of genius but at least it's a start.
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Old 02-25-2004   #14
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Re: 103 things to Annoy people

Quote:
Originally Said by rawr_guy_rawr
Answer help wanted ads in the paper by saying something similar to, "Hi, yes I was replying to your ad because I need help... I have my foot stuck in a pringles can."[
fantastic.
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