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Old 04-11-2003   #1
moocow44
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lame jokes.

I heard these jokes from this one kid that is in my Biology class at school today...they are kinda funny, I thought I'd share them.

A pretzel was walking down the street today...he was assalted.

A family of tomatoes is talking a walk...the family consists of a mother tomato, father tomato, and a child tomato. The child tomato is going a bit slow and is behind. The father tomato sees the child tomato is slow and kicks the child from behind...he replies..."Catch UP!"

Yes I know...lame...but funny when you never pay attention.
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Old 04-11-2003   #2
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lol i love the pretzel one.
dont forget about the famous: What did one raison say to the other raison? Nothing. Raisons can't talk
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Old 04-12-2003   #3
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My biology teacher in highschool had a ton of these to put us to sleep with.

A mushroom walked into a bar and the bartender yelled "Hey we don't serve your kind in here". The mushroom said "Why not? I'm a Fun Guy!"
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Old 04-12-2003   #4
moocow44
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see, my biology teacher is not funny, she tries...i think a bit too hard. Anybody else have some lame jokes?
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Old 04-12-2003   #5
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A man walks into a bar.

"Ow."
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Old 04-12-2003   #6
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Optician walks into a bar... you'd think he'd have seen it.
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Old 04-12-2003   #7
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haha that was good grunt, a twist on the bar joke...
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Old 04-12-2003   #8
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:) cheers.

horse walks into a bar. bartender asks, "why the long face?"
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Old 04-12-2003   #9
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A three legged dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
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Old 04-12-2003   #10
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*groan* im going to have to shoot myself after reading these....AND contributing. what is the world coming to? GAH!

I honestly think Knock-Knock jokes are the lamest. eg:

You: Knock-Knock
Them: Who's there?
You: Boo
Them: Boo who?
You: No need to cry, its only a joke.
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Old 04-12-2003   #11
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man went into a pet shop. asked the owner to buy a wasp.
the owner said "we dont sell 'em"
the man said, "but theres one in the window!"
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Old 04-13-2003   #12
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saddams son goes shopping and comes back with it all in a box. saddam says- why is the shopping in a box? his son says - because there is no bagdad.
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Old 04-13-2003   #13
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two hotdogs are roasting on a barbeque, one hotdog says "Boy it sure is hot in here", the other says "Oh my GOD a TALKING HOTDOG"
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Old 04-13-2003   #14
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Q: Whats Brown and sticky?

A: a stick !!
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Old 04-13-2003   #15
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A duck walks into a bar and says "got any grapes?" the bartender says "no this is a bar, we dont sell grapes"

The next day the duck walks in and asks "got any grapes?" the bartender says "no this is a bar, we dont sell grapes"

The Third day the duck walks in and asks "got any grapes?" the bartender says "no this is a bar, we dont sell grapes, and if you ask that one more time im gonna nail your feet to the floor"

The fourth day the duck walks in and asks "got any nails?" the bartender says "no" the duck asks "got any grapes?"
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Old 04-13-2003   #16
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a kid on a bus asks the busdriver "if my mom was a kangaroo, and my dad was a kangaroo, then i'd be a little kangaroo",

after saying the same sentance with 35 different animals the busdriver asks " OH YEAH WELL WHAT IF YOUR DAD WAS A MALE PROSTITUTE, AND YOUR MOM WAS A HOOKER?"
the kid replies "i'd be a busdriver"
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Old 04-13-2003   #17
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Q: whats a lamb with no legs?

A: a cloud
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Old 04-13-2003   #18
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god that one w/ the lamb is lame.
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Old 04-15-2003   #19
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why do giraffes have long necks?
>>cuz they have stinky feet....

what do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?
>>fucks funny...
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Old 04-15-2003   #20
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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

It died
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