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Old 05-15-2006   #1
mfreeman
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Rules for Women during the World Cup

LIST OF RULES
1. From 9th June to 9th July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored.
2. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
3. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
4. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.
5. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
6. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat.
7. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor... it wont happen.
8. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
9. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, its only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less.
10. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break up or divorce.
11. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.
12. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
13. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
• I will not go,
• I will not go, and
• I will not go.
14. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
15. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this...why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch??”, the reply will be: “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.
16. And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, etc etc.

Thank you for your co-operation.
Regards,
Men of the World
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Old 05-15-2006   #2
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Re: Rules for Women during the World Cup

You're a dick.
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Old 05-15-2006   #3
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Re: Rules for Women during the World Cup

Yea this is only a little chauvanistic... and really stupid.
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Old 05-15-2006   #4
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Re: Rules for Women during the World Cup

If you were really passionate about the world cup like me, and you had a girlfriend (who is very lovely) but would not for the life of you let you watch every game of the world cup, you'd kind of appreciate this thread more, no offence tho, just my feelings, i thought it was funny and accurate.
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Old 05-15-2006   #5
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Re: Rules for Women during the World Cup

Yes but only dicks are passionate about the World Cup, Matt. Soccer sucks.
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Old 05-15-2006   #6
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Re: Rules for Women during the World Cup

"If the game is on, why do I need anything else to be happening?" - Mr. MCR.

(applies to any sports.)
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Old 05-15-2006   #7
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Re: Rules for Women during the World Cup

it was chovenistic, and sexist, but this aside its also a joke. and i laughed. Its the same thing with me if im reading a book i have been waiting months for in a series, or really any book for that matter... "just dont freaking bother me, cant you see im reading, your not important right now." same idea.

idk, i thought it deserved a chuckle. Grew up around very athletic guys, so im used to this attitude during playoffs, world cups, ect.
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Old 05-15-2006   #8
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Re: Rules for Women during the World Cup

hell yeah, Playoffs !
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Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.)

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Old 05-16-2006   #9
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Re: Rules for Women during the World Cup

I'll admit that it was funny, but I just get tired of such sexist jokes. I'm not some enormous feminist, but some of those statements really riled me up. It was mostly the fact that every single one dealt with female stereotypes, and they're were, what, 20 of them!? I can stand a few, but that's about it. I tend to love sexist jokes because they point out the ills of truths of society, but I don't know, I just couldn't like this one. Plus, I know A LOT of women who are excited for the world cup, and it just irks me when men think they are the only ones who are ever excited for athletic events.

Thus, it was funny, but only a bit.

End rant.

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