Almost Smart  

Go Back   Almost Smart > The Lounge > Tech Talk

Tech Talk Discussion related to technology, computers, and the internet.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-28-2006   #1
HolokittyNX
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California, but I might move back to Earth one day.
Age: 35
Posts: 952
Rep Power: 0
HolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond repute
[funny] So You Want To Learn Japanese...

From http://pepper.idge.net/japanese/ -

So You Want To Learn Japanese.

You've eaten at a few Japanese restaurants, seen some anime, hosted an exchange student, and had a Japanese girlfriend. And now, somewhere in the back of your tiny brain, you think that Japanese would be a good language to learn. Hey, you could translate video games! Or Manga! Or even Anime! Pick up Japanese girls, impress your friends! Maybe you'll even go to Japan and become an anime artist! Yeah! Sounds like a great idea!

So you head down to the library, pick up some books with titles like "How To Teach Yourself Japanes In Just 5 Seconds A Day While Driving Your Car To And From The Post Office" and "Japanese For Complete And Total, Utter Fools Who Should Never Procreate". Hey, you already know a few words from your manga collection/girlfriend/anime. Excited and impressed with your new knowledge, you begin to think: "Hey. Maybe, just maybe, i could do this for a living! Or even major in Japanese! Great Idea, Right?

WRONG.

I don't care how many anime tapes you've watched, how many Japanese girlfriends you've had, or books you've read, You don't know Japanese. Not only that, majoring in the godforsaken language is NOT fun or even remotely sensible. Iraqi war prisoners are often forced to major in Japanese. The term "Holocaust" comes from the Latin roots "Holi" and "Causm", meaning "to major in Japanese". You get the idea.

And so, sick of seeing so many lambs run eagerly to the slaughter, I have created This Guide to REAL TIPS for Studying Japanese. Or, as is actually the case, NOT studying it.

Reason One: It's too hard.

This should be an obvious.

Despite what many language books, friends, or online tutorials may have told you, Japanese is NOT simple, easy, or even sensical (Japanese vocabulary is determined by throwing tiny pieces of sushi at a dart board with several random syllables attatched to it). TheJapanese spread these rumours to draw foolish Gaijin into their clutches.

Not only is it not simple, it's probably one of the hardest language you could ever want to learn. With THREE completely different written languages (none of which make sense), multitude of useless, confusing politeness levels, and absolutely insane grammatical structure, Japanese has been crushing the souls of the pathetic Gaijin since it's conception. Let's go over some of these elements mentioned above so you can get a better idea of what I mean.
HolokittyNX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-01-2006   #2
Ker_Bear
a CRAZY waste of time
 
Ker_Bear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: alabama for now....but moving to florida soon
Age: 33
Posts: 388
Rep Power: 29
Ker_Bear is a name known to allKer_Bear is a name known to allKer_Bear is a name known to allKer_Bear is a name known to allKer_Bear is a name known to allKer_Bear is a name known to all
Send a message via Yahoo to Ker_Bear
Re: [funny] So You Want To Learn Japanese...

I've went to this japanese steakhouse named Kyoto a couple times and I loved it....they cook ur food infront of you, flippin knives and making the grill flame up really big and shit. the only japanese I know is what I've heard my friend say...kanitchiwa...hell I can barely spell it let alone know what it means. after going to kyoto I was " I should try to learn japanese...not the language..just bits and words...hell yea " . so I checked out the only book I could find at the library that even remotely translated japanese. shit is complex. definately not for someone who is easily intimidated.
__________________
and what did you expect ... a perfect child
raised by tv sets ... abandoned every mile
we never get respect ... never a fair trial
no one gives a shit ... as long as we smile
Ker_Bear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-01-2006   #3
Sytrohs87
goliath
 
Sytrohs87's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Richmond, VA
Age: 33
Posts: 3,496
Rep Power: 70
Sytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via AIM to Sytrohs87 Send a message via MSN to Sytrohs87
Re: [funny] So You Want To Learn Japanese...

Quote:
Originally Said by HolokittyNX
From http://pepper.idge.net/japanese/ -

So You Want To Learn Japanese.

You've eaten at a few Japanese restaurants, seen some anime, hosted an exchange student, and had a Japanese girlfriend. And now, somewhere in the back of your tiny brain, you think that Japanese would be a good language to learn. Hey, you could translate video games! Or Manga! Or even Anime! Pick up Japanese girls, impress your friends! Maybe you'll even go to Japan and become an anime artist! Yeah! Sounds like a great idea!

So you head down to the library, pick up some books with titles like "How To Teach Yourself Japanes In Just 5 Seconds A Day While Driving Your Car To And From The Post Office" and "Japanese For Complete And Total, Utter Fools Who Should Never Procreate". Hey, you already know a few words from your manga collection/girlfriend/anime. Excited and impressed with your new knowledge, you begin to think: "Hey. Maybe, just maybe, i could do this for a living! Or even major in Japanese! Great Idea, Right?

WRONG.

I don't care how many anime tapes you've watched, how many Japanese girlfriends you've had, or books you've read, You don't know Japanese. Not only that, majoring in the godforsaken language is NOT fun or even remotely sensible. Iraqi war prisoners are often forced to major in Japanese. The term "Holocaust" comes from the Latin roots "Holi" and "Causm", meaning "to major in Japanese". You get the idea.

And so, sick of seeing so many lambs run eagerly to the slaughter, I have created This Guide to REAL TIPS for Studying Japanese. Or, as is actually the case, NOT studying it.

Reason One: It's too hard.

This should be an obvious.

Despite what many language books, friends, or online tutorials may have told you, Japanese is NOT simple, easy, or even sensical (Japanese vocabulary is determined by throwing tiny pieces of sushi at a dart board with several random syllables attatched to it). TheJapanese spread these rumours to draw foolish Gaijin into their clutches.

Not only is it not simple, it's probably one of the hardest language you could ever want to learn. With THREE completely different written languages (none of which make sense), multitude of useless, confusing politeness levels, and absolutely insane grammatical structure, Japanese has been crushing the souls of the pathetic Gaijin since it's conception. Let's go over some of these elements mentioned above so you can get a better idea of what I mean.
I surely hope you aren't being serious, because, if so, that has to be one of the laziest and most arrogant posts I've seen on this forum. What right does this person have to put other people down because they enjoy Japanese culture? He is in no place to criticize others when he's not willing to put any effort into learning three alphabets. Japan has one of the fastest growing markets in the world, and is home to Tokyo, the third richest city on the planet behind New York and London. It makes perfect sense to want to learn Japanese so, like I said, I really hope you're being sarcastic.
__________________
"I've defected."

-The Mars Volta

"I consider the positions of kings and rulers as that of dust motes. I observe treasures of gold and gems as so many bricks and pebbles. I look upon the finest silken robes as tattered rags. I see myriad worlds of the universe as small seeds of fruit, and the greatest lake in India as a drop of oil on my foot. I perceive the teachings of the world to be the illusion of magicians. I discern the highest conception of emancipation as a golden brocade in a dream, and view the holy path of the illuminated ones as flowers appearing in one's eyes. I see meditation as a pillar of a mountain, Nirvana as a nightmare of daytime. I look upon the judgment of right and wrong as the serpentine dance of a dragon, and the rise and fall of beliefs as but traces left by the four seasons."

-Siddhartha Gautama
Sytrohs87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-01-2006   #4
Thoughtcrime
I grew up to be black.
 
Thoughtcrime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Oregon, U.S.A.
Age: 29
Posts: 7,252
Rep Power: 98
Thoughtcrime has a reputation beyond reputeThoughtcrime has a reputation beyond reputeThoughtcrime has a reputation beyond reputeThoughtcrime has a reputation beyond reputeThoughtcrime has a reputation beyond reputeThoughtcrime has a reputation beyond reputeThoughtcrime has a reputation beyond reputeThoughtcrime has a reputation beyond reputeThoughtcrime has a reputation beyond reputeThoughtcrime has a reputation beyond reputeThoughtcrime has a reputation beyond repute
Re: [funny] So You Want To Learn Japanese...

She didn't write it.

I thought it was funny although it could use an edit.
__________________
Thoughtcrime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-01-2006   #5
ablethevoice
Vintage Human
 
ablethevoice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Gulf Coast Florida Ivan and Dennis survivor!
Age: 60
Posts: 4,131
Rep Power: 85
ablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via MSN to ablethevoice Send a message via Yahoo to ablethevoice
Re: [funny] So You Want To Learn Japanese...

If you would have taken the time to click on the link and read the whole piece- of which Holokitty just posted a small portion (which was very funny, BTW)- you would have discovered that it was written by someone who is indeed studying the Japanese language and no doubt in a fit of frustration found it necessary to vent in a funny and sarcastic fashion.
__________________
"There Is No Religion Higher Than Truth." - Motto of the Theosophical Society

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." Albert Einstein

"The difference between genius and stupidity is genius has its limits." —Albert Einstein

“It's fortunate for governments that people don't think." - Adolph Hitler

Sturkis akidit ("shit happens") - Latin


Bent Ears Audio Laboratories - Better Music Through Chemistry

MUSIC IS LIKE CANDY. IT'S ONLY GOOD WHEN YOU GET RID OF ALL THE RAPPERS.
))#####D~~~~ (_l_)
ablethevoice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-01-2006   #6
Sytrohs87
goliath
 
Sytrohs87's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Richmond, VA
Age: 33
Posts: 3,496
Rep Power: 70
Sytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond reputeSytrohs87 has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via AIM to Sytrohs87 Send a message via MSN to Sytrohs87
Re: [funny] So You Want To Learn Japanese...

alright then, my worries are abated
__________________
"I've defected."

-The Mars Volta

"I consider the positions of kings and rulers as that of dust motes. I observe treasures of gold and gems as so many bricks and pebbles. I look upon the finest silken robes as tattered rags. I see myriad worlds of the universe as small seeds of fruit, and the greatest lake in India as a drop of oil on my foot. I perceive the teachings of the world to be the illusion of magicians. I discern the highest conception of emancipation as a golden brocade in a dream, and view the holy path of the illuminated ones as flowers appearing in one's eyes. I see meditation as a pillar of a mountain, Nirvana as a nightmare of daytime. I look upon the judgment of right and wrong as the serpentine dance of a dragon, and the rise and fall of beliefs as but traces left by the four seasons."

-Siddhartha Gautama
Sytrohs87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-01-2006   #7
HolokittyNX
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California, but I might move back to Earth one day.
Age: 35
Posts: 952
Rep Power: 0
HolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond reputeHolokittyNX has a reputation beyond repute
Re: [funny] So You Want To Learn Japanese...

Majoring in Japanese, no less.

And an impractical language is hardly a criticism of an entire culture. Languages are rarely planned out.
HolokittyNX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-01-2006   #8
ablethevoice
Vintage Human
 
ablethevoice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Gulf Coast Florida Ivan and Dennis survivor!
Age: 60
Posts: 4,131
Rep Power: 85
ablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond reputeablethevoice has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via MSN to ablethevoice Send a message via Yahoo to ablethevoice
Re: [funny] So You Want To Learn Japanese...

Speaking of other languages, I was browsing the satellite channels this afternoon and found a (to me) really cool channel which is an English-Language general network from China. The network is called CCTV and is on ch 455 on DirecTV...well it is here I don't know where it would be located in another part of the US if it's even available at all. Anyway, I was watching an archaeology program this afternoon, and many of the people interviewed in the show were, naturally enough, speaking conversational Chinese. (I know there are a couple dozen or more dialects of Chinese; I don't know which one they were speaking)...but maaaan! Chinese sounds like an extraterrestrial tongue. The producers of the show used subtitles instead of voicing-over an English-speaking translator so I was able to hear clearly the Chinese spoken. What a fascinating and bizarre language! I have to give the hosts and announcers of every show I watched today BIG credit for handling English as well as they do. I'm lucky to have a Spanish vocabulary of a paltry 100 or so words.
__________________
"There Is No Religion Higher Than Truth." - Motto of the Theosophical Society

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." Albert Einstein

"The difference between genius and stupidity is genius has its limits." —Albert Einstein

“It's fortunate for governments that people don't think." - Adolph Hitler

Sturkis akidit ("shit happens") - Latin


Bent Ears Audio Laboratories - Better Music Through Chemistry

MUSIC IS LIKE CANDY. IT'S ONLY GOOD WHEN YOU GET RID OF ALL THE RAPPERS.
))#####D~~~~ (_l_)
ablethevoice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-01-2006   #9
Yugoloth
-----
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: California
Age: 35
Posts: 2,150
Rep Power: 77
Yugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond reputeYugoloth has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via AIM to Yugoloth
Re: [funny] So You Want To Learn Japanese...

Quote:
Originally Said by HolokittyNX
Majoring in Japanese, no less.

And an impractical language is hardly a criticism of an entire culture. Languages are rarely planned out.
Seriously. Hell, look at English. "would have been having" is proper verb conjugation. Go figger...
Yugoloth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-01-2006   #10
Jenn and tonic
"maaaaagic!"
 
Jenn and tonic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Age: 34
Posts: 5,965
Rep Power: 120
Jenn and tonic has a reputation beyond reputeJenn and tonic has a reputation beyond reputeJenn and tonic has a reputation beyond reputeJenn and tonic has a reputation beyond reputeJenn and tonic has a reputation beyond reputeJenn and tonic has a reputation beyond reputeJenn and tonic has a reputation beyond reputeJenn and tonic has a reputation beyond reputeJenn and tonic has a reputation beyond reputeJenn and tonic has a reputation beyond reputeJenn and tonic has a reputation beyond repute
Send a message via Yahoo to Jenn and tonic
Re: [funny] So You Want To Learn Japanese...

I've read that before, it's hilarious! However, I would have liked it better if he didn't go all apologist at the end.
__________________
When all government, in little as in great things, shall be drawn to Washington as the Center of all power, it will render powerless the checks provided of one government on another and will become as venal and oppressive as the government from which we separated. – Thomas Jefferson
Jenn and tonic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2006   #11
oceandream130
Future star of a Zach Braff film!
 
oceandream130's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Omaha
Age: 31
Posts: 1,134
Rep Power: 40
oceandream130 has a reputation beyond reputeoceandream130 has a reputation beyond reputeoceandream130 has a reputation beyond reputeoceandream130 has a reputation beyond reputeoceandream130 has a reputation beyond reputeoceandream130 has a reputation beyond reputeoceandream130 has a reputation beyond reputeoceandream130 has a reputation beyond reputeoceandream130 has a reputation beyond reputeoceandream130 has a reputation beyond reputeoceandream130 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: [funny] So You Want To Learn Japanese...

haha, I recall actually coming across this article a few years ago when I wanted to get serious about studying the Japanese language. I guess I was searching for some encouragement, and ironically, came across this article It almost frightened me away until I read the author's comment at the end...then I simply became highly amused and couldn't help but laught a bit! As for studying Japanese myself...I know a little and continue studying it on my own time, but it certainly is an extremely complicated language, much more so than Latin and Spanish, which I partially know.
__________________
Non omnes vagi perditi sunt
oceandream130 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2006   #12
Mystic Thunder
Old & Wise Member
 
Mystic Thunder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: kuwait
Age: 31
Posts: 955
Rep Power: 33
Mystic Thunder is a glorious beacon of lightMystic Thunder is a glorious beacon of lightMystic Thunder is a glorious beacon of lightMystic Thunder is a glorious beacon of lightMystic Thunder is a glorious beacon of light
Send a message via MSN to Mystic Thunder
Re: [funny] So You Want To Learn Japanese...

it helps if you know another language that has a few words that sound the same.

heck i was surprised when i heard that english is just a form of broken arabis and arabic is a form of broken Japanese.
__________________
Mystic Thunder is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Lost Japanese Soldiers From WWII Found! Wobbie Front Page 13 06-07-2010 11:18 PM
Things You Learn From Children ag0ny Jokes & Comedy 22 05-03-2006 06:57 AM
[How not to learn History] david Jokes & Comedy 6 10-04-2005 11:28 PM
An American, a Japanese and an Irish man Evra Jokes & Comedy 8 05-19-2005 06:43 PM
japanese garden homebrew Art & Photography 2 04-20-2004 05:27 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:49 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2000 - 2006, Almost Smart