Super Bowl & Rude Parrot

Nadine · 02-23-2004

"Super Bowl"

A fellow had 50-yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a stranger comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
"No," he says, "the seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the stranger. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"

The fellow says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

The fellow shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

* * * * * * * * * *

"Rude Parrot"

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad
attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth
was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I
believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

lynthechef · 02-23-2004

the rude parrot joke is great, i nearly fell off my chair

Ziech · 02-24-2004

LMAO!... I didn't fall out of my chair. But I definately have to pee now...

superchicken002 · 02-24-2004

the rude parrot one is hilarious!!! haha good job.

Summer Gurl · 02-24-2004

i dont get it ! what did the turkey do ?

J.C · 02-24-2004

lol both of those are great:)

02-23-2004	#1
Nadine Such a TEASE! RAWR Join Date: May 2003 Location: Boise, Idaho Age: 36 Posts: 1,625 Rep Power: 39	Super Bowl & Rude Parrot "Super Bowl" A fellow had 50-yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a stranger comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he says, "the seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the stranger. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?" The fellow says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The fellow shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral." * * * * * * * * * * "Rude Parrot" A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?" __________________ "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." ~by David Bowie "And I hope that in time You will eventually see An oh so slight fondness That you might have had once for me" ~me~ "I don't need SEX! Life FUCKS me whenever it can!" ~Unknown~

02-23-2004	#2
lynthechef Trainee Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: inverness scotland Posts: 47 Rep Power: 32	Re: Super Bowl & Rude Parrot the rude parrot joke is great, i nearly fell off my chair

02-24-2004	#3
Ziech Elite Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 1,394 Rep Power: 38	Re: Super Bowl & Rude Parrot LMAO!... I didn't fall out of my chair. But I definately have to pee now... __________________ Dead

02-24-2004	#4
superchicken002 Elite Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: New Mexico Age: 34 Posts: 1,025 Rep Power: 37	Re: Super Bowl & Rude Parrot the rude parrot one is hilarious!!! haha good job. __________________ My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, so won't you kill me, so I die happy.

02-24-2004	#5
Summer Gurl She shines like the summer sun Join Date: Jan 2004 Age: 34 Posts: 4,790 Rep Power: 51	Re: Super Bowl & Rude Parrot i dont get it ! what did the turkey do ? __________________

02-24-2004	#6
J.C KanadianKiller Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Age: 36 Posts: 721 Rep Power: 35	Re: Super Bowl & Rude Parrot lol both of those are great:) __________________

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