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Old 05-20-2010   #21
hai Jay
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Re: Relationship Fail

my mom, hopefully, will be here between 8:00 & 9:00 a.m.

the only thing I'm concerned with job-wise is that it's a small town and I'm concerned there might not be many opportunities.
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Old 05-20-2010   #22
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Re: Relationship Fail

i had no idea you weren't working this whole time already.
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Old 05-20-2010   #23
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Re: Relationship Fail

I have been wanting to get a job, but everytime I asked him to take me job hunting/to the career center he either a. came up with reasons it wouldn't be possible/quizzed me about how I'd get back and forth, or b. tell me he'd take me, then when he was supposed to he'd come up with an excuse/"forget" to take me.

Like I said, he's controlling and I think purposely tried to keep me from being out of the house without him as much as possible. He wouldn't even give me a house key. He also didn't want me to be able to support myself/have money for myself, and he was also afraid I was going to meet someone else and leave him.

I mean he also acted like he didn't even want me going back to school. It's been so fucked up.
He'd also take off constantly and leave me with no way to get in touch with anyone in case of emergency, and the majority of the time wouldn't tell me where he was going and got pissed if I tried to ask him.
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Old 05-20-2010   #24
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Re: Relationship Fail

That dude was an asshole. You're much better off now that that's all behind you. I'm sure you'll find a job. My girlfriend is looking for one too right now, and it's tough, but you just have to have a little luck and a lot of patience.
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Old 05-20-2010   #25
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Re: Relationship Fail

Shit happens, just gotta move on
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Old 05-20-2010   #26
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Re: Relationship Fail

Shit, atleast yo apartment didn't burn down and you're posting this shit from a cell phone.
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Old 05-20-2010   #27
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Re: Relationship Fail

Quote:
Originally Said by Princess Jasmine View Post
[.. ]Like I said, he's controlling and I think purposely tried to keep me from being out of the house without him as much as possible. He wouldn't even give me a house key. He also didn't want me to be able to support myself/have money for myself, and he was also afraid I was going to meet someone else and leave him. [..]
Wow, that sound's creepy.. you should have left him long before for that reason. Such a behavior couldn't be any more old fashioned.. 'hearth and home'- and that.

Hope you're life gets better soon. How are you now?
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Old 05-21-2010   #28
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Re: Relationship Fail

you only act so tough online then jaws?

how in the hell did you let him do that to you? MAKES NO SENSE, that you want to stay with a guy who doesn't want you to better yourself. Ala-bummer.
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Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.)

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Old 05-21-2010   #29
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Re: Relationship Fail

oh yeah i forgot to add: LOL @ LEET
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To chill is to be chillin.
Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.)

|-Mr.MCR-|

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Old 05-21-2010   #30
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Re: Relationship Fail

Quote:
Originally Said by psychoDiablo View Post
you only act so tough online then jaws?

how in the hell did you let him do that to you? MAKES NO SENSE, that you want to stay with a guy who doesn't want you to better yourself. Ala-bummer.
He was so passive about it all, and wasn't like "oh, I'm going to control you, you aren't allowed to do such and such".

It's just when I'd have a question or ask about a key or ask if he'd take me to look for jobs he said he would, but then the time would come he acted like it slipped his mind, or he'd not feel like it, or drag ass all day until it was too late. And as far as the key, getting minutes for my phone, etc., sometimes I would ask him, then forget about it for a few days and when I asked him again, well the money from his check was spent, and I "should have said something when he got paid."

Hindsight is 20:20, as they say. And until I talked to some people about it, I didn't realize myself what was going on. I stayed so busy watching his kids and doing housework I didn't really notice he might be doing these things on purpose.

Quote:
Originally Said by Ryan
Shit, atleast yo apartment didn't burn down and you're posting this shit from a cell phone.
I have neither of those things.

Quote:
Originally Said by Christian
Wow, that sound's creepy.. you should have left him long before for that reason. Such a behavior couldn't be any more old fashioned.. 'hearth and home'- and that.

Hope you're life gets better soon. How are you now?
Got some applications, got settled in at my mom's house, got my financial aid application filled out and submitted today with my mom, got registered for all of my classes today. So I'm getting my ducks in a row now.

I was pretty peeved that someone who said they loved me (and had never felt so strongly about anyone before) would treat me like garbage and talk to me like I was a piece of shit.

Now I'm at my mother's and have to basically try to stfu around here because trying to joke around about stuff all the time seems to get under her skin and she has no patience whatsoever and snaps at me all the time. Not quite out of the frying pan and into the fire, but sometimes emotionally I know I'm going to feel that way. As long as she's always right and I'm never cross at any time I should be able to get by unscathed. lol I hope.
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Old 05-21-2010   #31
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Re: Relationship Fail

good to hear your doing somewhat better, even if you gotta deal with your mother being well.....your mother...the snapping thing is just normal parent shit though aint it, but you just gotta grin an bear it, say please an thank you at the right time and just try to get along...like they say you can choose your friends but you cant choose your family..

...though saying that I seriously wonder at times if im the ONLY one about whos got a mother who LONG ago dropped that whole parent style routine, hell even my mothers parents still act like parents to her...mine just treats me as a equal no mother/son style bullshit...meh...anyways still good to hear your doing a lil better jas, least your holding together a lil better than me this side of the pond, im barely getting my shit together well...the minute I get one thing done, another thing comes in a pisses back on me..
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Old 05-21-2010   #32
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Re: Relationship Fail

i know you might not want to but have you thought about getting unemployment> I thought you worked at the nursing home and subway not long back and that should get you enough money to get buy and/or pay off those tickets.
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Old 05-21-2010   #33
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Re: Relationship Fail

Quote:
Originally Said by Princess Jasmine View Post
He was so passive about it all, and wasn't like "oh, I'm going to control you, you aren't allowed to do such and such".

It's just when I'd have a question or ask about a key or ask if he'd take me to look for jobs he said he would, but then the time would come he acted like it slipped his mind, or he'd not feel like it, or drag ass all day until it was too late. And as far as the key, getting minutes for my phone, etc., sometimes I would ask him, then forget about it for a few days and when I asked him again, well the money from his check was spent, and I "should have said something when he got paid."

Hindsight is 20:20, as they say. And until I talked to some people about it, I didn't realize myself what was going on. I stayed so busy watching his kids and doing housework I didn't really notice he might be doing these things on purpose.
wow, fool, he ownd you.

well here's to looking forward to better things. after you hit bottom, there's only one way up. (now you know what you don't want. as far as relationships and basic living your life go.)

well leave his ass behind and he'll soon see, what kind of girl he had and didn't care about. don't be surprised if he calls you back saying he'll get a phone and drive you anywhere you wanna go. tell him you can drive me anywhere, far away, from you.
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I wouldn't say I'm psycho only because I'm able to handle it.
Now learn patience

To chill is to be chillin.
Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.)

|-Mr.MCR-|

Will you write
Will you love
Will you enjoy
Life when I am gone?
You will.
by Angelina

"I have lived life as horrible as it was, and as beautiful as it has become."
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Old 05-22-2010   #34
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Re: Relationship Fail

^very good advice pD!
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Old 05-22-2010   #35
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Re: Relationship Fail

i am smart.

poor jaws.

start a new life with mom. tell her everything that happened and she better care for you.
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Now learn patience

To chill is to be chillin.
Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.)

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Old 05-22-2010   #36
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Re: Relationship Fail

all she said was "well that's a typical black male for you" and "I don't think you were ever really in love with him."

It's as if I was never even down there with him. No one is acknowledging it.

In less than a week I was thrown out of the place I lived, my relationship with my boyfriend and his children (who I'd been the primary caretaker of) ended, and I'm here living with my mom and step-dad in this shitty racist town. I don't know how many times already I've heard gay slurs and nigger out of both my mother's and my sister's mouths.

I can't wait to get back to my college town and back in school this August. I can't just pretend none of that happened like everyone else has.
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Old 05-22-2010   #37
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Re: Relationship Fail

wtf?

i thought you were dating a white guy. that's what it sounded like to me anyway. your family needs to move and expierence the mix
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Now learn patience

To chill is to be chillin.
Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.)

|-Mr.MCR-|

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You will.
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Old 05-22-2010   #38
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Re: Relationship Fail

what would make you think that? why did it sound like that? i had a thread addressing interracial relationships, even.
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Old 05-23-2010   #39
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Re: Relationship Fail

because the way he treated you, to me, being in So Cal, doesn't sound like typical black motherfucker behavior. What you described is white garbage.
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Now learn patience

To chill is to be chillin.
Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.)

|-Mr.MCR-|

Will you write
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Old 05-23-2010   #40
hai Jay
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Re: Relationship Fail

The stereotypical black guy, so my mother thinks, is controlling and possessive and lies.

Really though it's just the typical asshole.
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