what about

[Zanahoria_Picante]

Originally Said by psychoDiablo

Damn fool. Sorry I even asked... Nah, I'm not sorry...

I can feel you on the whole single for life thing. I think I'll probably be single forever, too, but really... how much life do you have left? You're what, thirty? You could very well live another seventy years! I figure you're bound to meet someone soon. Just count down the days essentially, sort of, but not really. Don't count, 1, 2, 3...5,000 days and nothing yet. Lol don't be a fool.
For me, you always talk about hope n faith n shit. I suppose mines different than yours. I'd like to think I'd meet a nice girl and have a good stint with her. I feel like I've been skipped up. Heh, you think I look good now, you should have seen me when I was younger. And I was single then too. What the fuck?

Ima keep talking, I would like for you to meet some fool who likes you and makes you smile and you make smile for no reason at all. Simply because. I think it would be nice.

I look at some of my friends and no, I do not want their relationship. All they do is yell at each other over stupid shit whenever I'm there. Makes me uncomfortable. But whatever. Most of my shits have ended up in "no talking" as well, and I'm okay with that. Of course, I wish something more could have happened between us. And more meaning, something worth remembering her fucking name. Remember all those poems I had wrote for women over the fucking years...Got me nowhere... But I still keep on writing.

Well thanks for letting me talk n drink right now, lol, i gotta piss

There really is no place in my life for that kind of relationship--in any sense. That one situation (again, please don't say any details about that) was the only time I really thought of anyone that way and it turned out to be a huge mistake, a huge disappointment, as I also lost a friend in the process, and that situation actually managed to increase my aversion to the idea of those kind of relationships (until then, I avoided those situations with fervor). My only experiences with these kind of relationships have been catastrophic and offputting in one way or another--in that one case of pursuing and in the multiple cases of being pursued (as I only pursued someone once, being pursued is the only option, which is the only reason it happens with relative frequency; because I don't want a relationship, I am "approached" more than is typical; if you don't want something to happen, it seems to happen more). For me, the idea of romantic relationships has been more of a hindrance than anything else; a distraction from what is really important to me.

So, I see what you're saying. Your thoughts are kind and thank you for them. As bitter as my previous post sounded, I really am quite content now--even delighted--with the idea of not having that kind of relationship. Again, there is no place for that kind of relationship in my life and if I am really honest with myself, that relational mold fails to fit me, anyway. I love some of the depictions of romantic love in poetry and literature (see: Pablo Neruda, Shakespeare, Robert Frost, Charles Dickens, Charlotte Brontë, Jane Austen, Poe, countless others)--and I appreciate that those kind of real relationships are normal, even good, for a lot of people--but not for me. I just can't imagine, in reality, needing or wanting someone like that, or my life revolving around someone in that way in a practical sense, because it doesn't suit me. This might mean that, technically, I am not a member of society, possibly the human race, but that might be for the best.

From a Christian standpoint, I feel this perspective, for the most part, is justified, as Paul talks about how it is okay to remain single, just as it is okay to marry, in 1 Corinthians 7:26-28. The rest of that chapter is interesting and useful, but those two verses pertain to this subject for me.

So, "in short," maybe relationships aren't for everyone. Maybe it's harder for some people, maybe for you, to get into the right relationship or to find the right person to suit them. The odds are against you, as they are against everyone, especially if you are romantic, your expectations might be... unrealistic. (In the one case that I really liked a guy like that, that was part of my undoing.) As lovely as your poetry is--and this is going to sound harsh--most people don't appreciate it because they're too busy watching "the" MTV or surfing the YouTubes or looking at pictures of themselves on their phones (which is definitely the "new" existential) to connect to that sort of antiquated, romantic gesture--for the record, that last part was sarcasm. This is not to say this is true of everyone, but it is true of quite a few people, if we're being honest. Either way, from your perspective, perhaps, the more relaxed and content you are with yourself and your situation, the better; it's better for you that you don't worry about getting into a relationship and being relaxed might even increase the chances that a relationship would work out, as it isn't forced, but develops naturally. More importantly, if you find a way to be happy on your own, you'll find your happiness does not depend on finding another person to fulfill you (that's from The Book Of Clichés, Chapter 3). All of this is assuming that you really want a relationship and only speculating based on what I know of your experiences and working with my sparse (experiential) knowledge of this subject. I hope it wasn't too presumptuous or offensive. None of that may even apply to you or, really, be correct in general. Just trying to help.

Originally Said by EmperorChaos

I said that to ZP because I think she might be an asexual too. I have only met asexuals online although probability would dictate that I've met other asexuals IRL. We're the other 1%, if you go by some statistics. That means 1 out of 100 people are "Aces". I think the number might even be higher. We live in an oversexualized world. I'm sure many people who don't experience sexual attraction feel pressure, and that pressure leads to sexual activities.

No. Fungus is asexual. I am a human (last time I checked and despite my previous statement to the contrary).

Kidding. I do get what you're saying, but I wouldn't really consider myself that. I'm not big on these kind of strict categories and labels for people based on their behavior (there might be exceptions, like "mailman" and "schizophrenic" come to mind). I think people (groups of people and individuals) can have tendencies to do things, but ultimately choose, control, and are responsible for what they do. For me, my beliefs strongly influence my behavior--I choose to believe in God and to behave accordingly--and I view sex as a sacred and significant act, as it relates to God's design--physical and spiritual. And I choose to be single and all that goes along with being single for a "practicing" Christian.

I guess you could see a correlation between what you're saying and my desire to be single--my natural aversion to those kind of relationships. And I do agree that the world is pretty much obsessed with that topic, and not just the physical aspect, but the idea of romance and these kind of relationships. They do have their place, a big place in fact, and everyone thinks about it at some point, but there's more to life than that. A lot more.

[Pittielynn]

I find sometimes I can, sometimes I can't.
After a long time, I've only stayed in contact with one of my ex's. And that was after not hearing from him for a long time.
I tried with another but the first time we tried to hang out was pretty weird and I found out after that he told all his friends we had started sleeping together afterwards which NEVER happened EVER. So turns out he was a pig....
Other times, I just don't really want to. Sometimes its just too uncomfortable. :s

[psychoDiablo]

I'm glad you wrote back, ZP. I wasn't offended or nothing, in fact, in some parts where you're being sarcastic I laughed. I agree with you. Hell, even people who are married or taken will "make fun" and say they wish they were single too. That's the part I don't get. How when you get into these relationships, one person has to compromise or change their ways. Usually it's the female that's getting upset because the male ain't home or is away too often or whatever. (There's a lot of comedy done for this part of life.)
I understand the part about wanting to see each other every day, but what about everyone's friends? Before you were taken, it was hanging out with the homies or going out with your girlfriends. That all ends, and I don't see why it has to and I don't see why people get mad about people having their own life. Lol probably why I'm single! I don't think I could ever "control" someone and influence them not to do shit they liked to do before they met me. But if someone's doing drugs or some crazy shit, I definitely have no problem stepping in and saying "hey! knock it off or I'm gone." - Which brings up ultimatums, another aspect o the dating world. I dont understand that shit either.-

Heh, I guess when you think about it, I want a girlfriend... but in the sense that we are two separate humans living our own life together. Essentially, we are roommates who love each other and hang out every day or don't hang out every day. Lol good luck phrasing it that way and finding a woman to marry! hahaha again, probably why I'm single. lol

I don't know chick. I guess I miss having a girl call me and talking to me all sweet and being all romantic n shit lol. I still try to be romantic but really, all girls wanna do now-a-days is fuck. No intimacy, no meaning. It's all that MTV bullshit and cleavage-shot self photos. What happened to all the chicks that make you wait but still like you back? Now there is no waiting, and they don't even like you at all. Uggh, that's terrible. Makes me wonder what happened to those people's families. Where's that chicks dad? And does her mom not give a shit? lol looking at this type of shit, yeah, who really wants a relationship with these people? lol yikes...

Uh, can I say I do? Or at least, I wanna give it a try. hahaha :P
Alright I'm out.
Love u ZP.

[Nami]

Originally Said by psychoDiablo

How do you guys feel about your ex's? X gf or x bf, however it goes - Do u still talk to them?

It's weird if you do. So I say

I don't talk to my exes. I had one that claimed to want to stay in touch after we reconnected some years later. I tried for some amicable conversation on FB. That was futile. I removed him from my friends list recently. There's nothing to talk about. I don't have very many exes to talk about. Nor do I plan to have any more. I've got better things to do.

[psychoDiablo]

Ya, there's nothing to talk about. Moving on. At least shits cordial. But eh...