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| Writer's Corner The pen is mightier than the sword. Post your writings or poetry. Also discuss your favorite authors or books. |
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03-15-2004
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#1 |
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Elite Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Scotland
Age: 33
Posts: 1,368
Rep Power: 38   |
Dead eyes stare.
She's still falling,
Dead eyes stare, Hands still gripping, Dead eyes stare. He's not watching, Dead eyes stare, He's just sleeping, Dead eyes stare. Dust still forming, Curl of hair, skin still rotting, dead eyes stare. ground still shielding, From the air, Webs still spinning, Dead eyes stare. Gun still smoking, it's not fair, mom still greiving, Dead eyes stare. Out the windows their watching, They wouldn't dare, Even though they know that only Dead eyes stare.
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Grr.
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03-15-2004
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#2 |
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Is Back
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Australia
Age: 39
Posts: 4,580
Rep Power: 54  |
Re: Dead eyes stare.
nice man, i like it. simple, yet not simple, if that makes any sense.
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03-15-2004
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#3 |
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groingrabbingly good!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Canada (the true north strong and frozen)
Age: 34
Posts: 849
Rep Power: 40 |
Re: Dead eyes stare.
The continuous repetition of "dead eyes stare" really really creeped me out. Good job, though.
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03-15-2004
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#4 |
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fear the hangover fairy
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Monifieth, Round-the-corner-from-the-place, Scotland
Age: 35
Posts: 752
Rep Power: 36  |
Re: Dead eyes stare.
Stu, is it a good thing that you creep me?
 The repetition of the "air" sound is really effective. -Mike
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My end has come... For now, I come for you...
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03-15-2004
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#5 |
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: New Mexico
Age: 34
Posts: 1,025
Rep Power: 37  |
Re: Dead eyes stare.
yeah that creeped me out too. good job, i liked it. You're an amazing writer Stu.
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My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, so won't you kill me, so I die happy. |
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03-16-2004
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#6 |
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Elite Member
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Scotland
Age: 33
Posts: 1,368
Rep Power: 38 |
Re: Dead eyes stare.
Wow... so it was actually creepy? That's good, it was meant to be!
As allways thank you blah blah blah.
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Grr.
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