Love Sucks

[hai Jay]

So I'm living down here with my bf away from all my family. Basically choosing him over them, since THEY can't/won't accept our relationship, and I haven't told most my family.

Only my sis and my mom. My stepdad just figured it out, then others - it'll be spread through word of mouth from my myspace/facebook, I'm sure.

But my dad hates blacks. His family is racist. My paternal grandpa is the most racist person I've ever known.

My boyfriend worries, and so do I in the back of my head, that if my family found out, something bad might happen to him. If we didn't live so many hours away, I'd be scared for us, honestly. His father actually commented that he's worried he's going to find him "messed up or dead".

My own mother only has negative things to say most the time when I talk to her, and she's been withdrawn and I rarely hear from her. She sent me a text last week, but doesn't call or seem to want to know about my well-being or happiness. ...Doesn't seem to CARE that I'm happy with him.

He's trying to take care of me and help me back on my feet...something I haven't asked, and WOULDN'T expect of anyone...he's trying to help me pay off my tickets so I can get my license back and be able to drive to work... And it's like my mother expects it from him, but at the same time still has no respect for him.

This is a man who's a single father of twins, he's been in the military, he works fulltime + overtime...works his ass off...pays his own bills, etc. But nobody cares.

And if things don't work out between us, I'm afraid I won't be able to go back to them. It just sucks. It hurts. And he says I shouldn't care what they think, since they just put me down anyways and don't want to see me come up and do well for myself...or don't care to help me when I'm really hurting for some support. But it's still my family, and to feel rejected by them, and over something as simplistic as the color of his skin...I just still can't wrap my head around it and accept it.

But they aren't going to change; aren't going to come around to my way of thinking. My mom might end up accepting it because he makes me happy, but because she's always been so apt to please her own father who nothing is good enough for, she worries what he thinks of us and our choices, too. But she's constantly reminding me the entire family wouldn't approve. The town they live in, I wouldn't dare take him to visit, for his safety and mine. I'd honestly be scared to.
I just don't know what my family would do if they found out.
To them I'd just be a dirty nigger lover...which disgusts me...but that's how it is.

It's stressful though. When I get through talking to my mom I just feel down. ...feel like she's subtly putting me down. I just feel alone down here, and like I've given up my whole entire family; turned my back on them.

[Yugoloth]

Fuck em, they can go to hell.

Except your mother. At least she's trying.

[psychoDiablo]

sorry jasmine, i aint reading shit of yours in this post. BYE


sorry. get well soon. maybe you can ask yourself, or god, why i hate all of you? it might be because im drunk and I hate myself more than anything......... awwww :(

[foxyphoenix]

To reiterate: FUCK THEM.

If you've found someone who you care about and they can't accept it because of racial prejudices...
They may be family, but if they're trying to pull you out of a good thing, they're not good for you.

You can make an ultimatum and leave it up to them to work out their issues and contact you.


Seriously, you sound happy and he sounds great. Don't worry about what bigots think.

[psychoDiablo]

date the interracial to make them mad! do it.

[hai Jay]

Originally Said by foxyphoenix

To reiterate: FUCK THEM.

If you've found someone who you care about and they can't accept it because of racial prejudices...
They may be family, but if they're trying to pull you out of a good thing, they're not good for you.

You can make an ultimatum and leave it up to them to work out their issues and contact you.


Seriously, you sound happy and he sounds great. Don't worry about what bigots think.

thanks.

it bothers him that it upsets me so much. like literally every time i get off the phone with my mom...and i haven't even talked to her in maybe a week. she didn't return my phone call.

it's just i've always been so worried about my mom's approval, it's always just been my mom, brother, sister and me...

it's just a mind fuck that it's such an issue to most everyone i know...to the point where i almost feel ashamed.
but it's the same about being atheist...i feel like I'm "bad" or have done something wrong. my mom confronted me about that not too long ago too. not angrily, but she didn't understand and didn't care to.

i'm just really different from anyone in my family. well, other than my sister, but she's less likely to do more of what she wants concerning it.

[Psychosis]

Originally Said by Princess Jasmine

but it's the same about being atheist...i feel like I'm "bad" or have done something wrong. my mom confronted me about that not too long ago too. not angrily, but she didn't understand and didn't care to.

why is being an atheist such a massive issue in america?? It doesnt matter over here in the UK, not unless your in heavily relgious areas such as northern ireland really where they have protestants and catholics..but here in England nobody gives a crap what religion you are...

unless your foreign...and more importantly middle eastern foreign...then sometimes in some citys in some areas you get racial religious issues..

but on the whole no one goes completly mental if you say your atheist..

[Jenn and tonic]

^ I've never known anyone to go mental about atheism before, I have plenty of friends and family that are. I think it just depends on one's family or social circle.

[Psychosis]

it just seems that atheism in america seems a taboo thing, I've seen it pop up in the news a number of times...family guy made a huge thing bout it granted I know its a comedy cartoon, but there must be some basis to begin with for them TO mention something..

You just never see anything like that over here at all...people seem alot more tolerant of well pretty much anything here...interracial relationships, gay relationships, religion..nothing matters it seems..

[blackheart]

Originally Said by Crazy Face

it just seems that atheism in america seems a taboo thing, I've seen it pop up in the news a number of times...family guy made a huge thing bout it granted I know its a comedy cartoon, but there must be some basis to begin with for them TO mention something..

You just never see anything like that over here at all...people seem alot more tolerant of well pretty much anything here...interracial relationships, gay relationships, religion..nothing matters it seems..

Yeah I agree, people don't even talk about religion over here, and when it does crop up, no one gives a shit.

As for the first post, you're family shouldn't put you in a position where you feel like you have to choose. If they do, it's their problem & their loss.

[Psychosis]

Originally Said by blackheart

Yeah I agree, people don't even talk about religion over here, and when it does crop up, no one gives a shit.

gotta love that bout being british, we dont talk much to each other

[blackheart]

haha and we don't give a shit or show any interest in anything anyone tells us =D

[Psychosis]

Originally Said by blackheart

haha and we don't give a shit or show any interest in anything anyone tells us =D

exactly, we just have a cup of tea instead

[hai Jay]

tea's no good unless it's cold and sweet.

[Psychosis]

lol thats not very british then

[hai Jay]

of course not.

[foxyphoenix]

Oh, gosh no. English Breakfast Tea may be the best way to wake up in the morning. Unfortunately, drinking it in the morning means that I won't sleep for a few days, so I stick to naturally-caffeine-free red (fruit) teas.

[GoddessDivine]

Irish Breakfast for me

[hai Jay]

i've never had either.
at my sister's baby shower my mom bought a variety of different hot teas, but i thought they were gross.

[Psychosis]

Originally Said by foxyphoenix

Oh, gosh no. English Breakfast Tea may be the best way to wake up in the morning. Unfortunately, drinking it in the morning means that I won't sleep for a few days, so I stick to naturally-caffeine-free red (fruit) teas.

you can buy normal tea caffeine free...non friut ones lol I had to as I built u pa HUGE tolerance to caffeine from tea and MASS energy drinks like monster..lol