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Old 12-15-2008   #1
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Ask An Elderly Man

By request, this elderly man will now offer his sage wisdoms on the AS. *Huge eyes*

Perhaps you have seen and/or casually ignored my ramblings...my life-enhancing advice in the "Learned Life Lessons" thread. Now, I shall open it up to YOUR questions--inquiries about life or anything--and this old man shall plumb his ancient ken to answer as adequately as he is able.

*Peers over spectacles and furrows brow expectantly*
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Old 12-15-2008   #2
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

Does one's skin taste differently when one is old?
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Old 12-15-2008   #3
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

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Originally Said by amphiskios View Post
Does one's skin taste differently when one is old?
My dear boy, don't be a fool! One's skin always tastes like one's skin, regardless of age! Nonetheless, I do not often sample my skin's flavors and neither should you or any sound human being! Keep it safe! Keep it simple! (And, while you're at it, NEVER use exclamation marks!)
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Old 12-15-2008   #4
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

Where do babies come from?
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Old 12-15-2008   #5
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

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Originally Said by foxyphoenix View Post
Where do babies come from?
Tread carefully, my dear girl. Life is very short.

Now, though you are quite young and unscathed by the fires of worldly, agéd knowledge, I shall meet your inquiry with this answer:

*Clears throat*

When I was a young lad growing up in Norway, my mother would--upon my urgent request--tell of The Great Baby-Growing Tree. 'Upon that tree every human being that ever existed has grown, my son,' she would say, almost in a whisper, 'no man (or woman!) has seen the tree, but legend has it that it sparkles in gold and chartreuse!'

So, my dear, that is where...babies... *Falls asleep*
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Old 12-15-2008   #6
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

why is the sky blue?
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Old 12-15-2008   #7
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

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Originally Said by GoddessDivine View Post
why is the sky blue?
My dear, the sky is blue for the very same reason oranges are orange; that's the way they come in the box!
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Last edited by Zanahoria_Picante; 12-15-2008 at 01:15 PM. Reason: Brevity is key!!
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Old 12-15-2008   #8
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

buttsechs plz?
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Old 12-15-2008   #9
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

^ Cruising today?


I want to ask the old man if he likes daisies better than roses. I have a lot of questions actually, but I'll start there.
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Old 12-15-2008   #10
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

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Originally Said by 1337 View Post
buttsechs plz?
KEEP THAT FOUUUUUUUUL LANGUAGE OUT OF THIS THREAD, YOUNG ONE! I will not stand for "hippity hop language," either.

But...dear boy...I will answer directly with this: No! And brush your teeth!

Quote:
Originally Said by my.dragons.lady
I want to ask the old man if he likes daisies better than roses. I have a lot of questions actually, but I'll start there.
My dear, this old man's taste buds aren't what they used to be, but I will say I prefer daisies more for their soft, luscious, and savorily pungent center. Delicious!
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Old 12-15-2008   #11
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

Wise one, if you are truly as wise as you say you are...why aren't you solving life's problems instead of helping nerdy no-lifers from the internet that have found a place where everyone else is the same as they are?
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Old 12-15-2008   #12
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

dear mr old man, when are we gonna die?
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Old 12-15-2008   #13
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

Quote:
Originally Said by Jugband View Post
Wise one, if you are truly as wise as you say you are...why aren't you solving life's problems instead of helping nerdy no-lifers from the internet that have found a place where everyone else is the same as they are?
My dear boy, "nerdy no-lifers," though some are gangly and laugh just a bit too loudly at mediocre jokes, will build humanity's future! Smart, they are, though they may be regarded as trivial by society, society will be the very thing they forge! Invest in some new glasses, my boy; smaller, if you can, and square-rimmed...like this old man's spectacles. *Almost involuntary nod*

Quote:
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dear mr old man, when are we gonna die?
Not tomorrow, my boy. Tomorrow is always better than today; I guarantee it!
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Old 12-15-2008   #14
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

How far east can a person go before beginning to head west?
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Old 12-16-2008   #15
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

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Originally Said by my.dragons.lady View Post
How far east can a person go before beginning to head west?
My dear girl, NEVER use a compass! The little arrows point not to directions upon this planet that we live upon...upon...but to perils not imagined even by the craftiest of minds! "East" and "West" are but mere illusions used to misdirect people into Starbucks coffee stores!
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Old 12-16-2008   #16
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

How many stores could a Starbucks cup chuck, if a Starbucks cup could chuck coffee?
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Old 12-16-2008   #17
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

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How many stores could a Starbucks cup chuck, if a Starbucks cup could chuck coffee?
My dear boy, you are very young.

47--if the day is new!
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Old 12-16-2008   #18
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

And here I thought 42 was the answer to everything.


Would the old man know why the opposite of progress isn't congress?
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Old 12-16-2008   #19
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

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And here I thought 42 was the answer to everything.


Would the old man know why the opposite of progress isn't congress?
42...yes...yes...42 is the answer to everything...other than that particular question, I'm afraid.

If this old man were to answer that question, he would say: The wittiest of mongeese may ask the sun to lap upon the shore, but only the moon can steady the waves, my dear!
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Old 12-16-2008   #20
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Re: Ask An Elderly Man

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My dear boy, you are very young.

47--if the day is new!
47!!!


You are truly wise, sir.
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