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Old 04-06-2006   #1
Bamcubz
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Winning Smart Ass answers for 2006

Smart Ass Answer #5:

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed at her.

Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not
your stub."



*****************

Smart Ass Answer #4:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,

"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."



*******************

Smart Ass Answer #3:

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop
said.

The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the
cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.



*******************




Smart Ass Answer #2:

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"

The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."

*******************

#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.......................

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury
or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other
excuses whatsoever!"

A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was
restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head
and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your
other hand."
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Old 04-06-2006   #2
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Re: Winning Smart Ass answers for 2006

This might be funny if i havent heard these same answers for 'smart ass answers of 2004' and 2005. Stupid.
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Old 04-06-2006   #3
psychoDiablo
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Re: Winning Smart Ass answers for 2006

if you havent seen it, it's new to you.

#1 was a good one. but i liked #2 the best.
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Old 04-07-2006   #4
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Re: Winning Smart Ass answers for 2006

Quote:
Originally Said by psychoDiablo
if you havent seen it, it's new to you.
Well THATS insightful.
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Old 04-07-2006   #5
Savage_Nature
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Re: Winning Smart Ass answers for 2006

#2 is off the Blue Collar Comedy Tour with Bill Engvall.
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Old 04-07-2006   #6
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Re: Winning Smart Ass answers for 2006

Ha! Rep.
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Old 04-07-2006   #7
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Re: Winning Smart Ass answers for 2006

Quote:
Originally Said by Demento
Well THATS insightful.
well you posted a shit post, spam. .. just shut up will you. dont comment on anything i say, i've left your dumbass alone, but you insist on talking to me. go away you fag
__________________
I wouldn't say I'm psycho only because I'm able to handle it.
Now learn patience

To chill is to be chillin.
Chillin is cooperating with your surroundings, unknowing'st of what everything is capable of; and all the while, as it happens and after, to accept without any thought of good or bad, but mainly, just enjoying rather deeply, the moment you had to sit and think. (Not thinking.)

|-Mr.MCR-|

Will you write
Will you love
Will you enjoy
Life when I am gone?
You will.
by Angelina

"I have lived life as horrible as it was, and as beautiful as it has become."
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