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Writer's Corner The pen is mightier than the sword. Post your writings or poetry. Also discuss your favorite authors or books.

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Old 03-15-2004   #1
Stu
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Dead eyes stare.

She's still falling,
Dead eyes stare,
Hands still gripping,
Dead eyes stare.
He's not watching,
Dead eyes stare,
He's just sleeping,
Dead eyes stare.

Dust still forming,
Curl of hair,
skin still rotting,
dead eyes stare.
ground still shielding,
From the air,
Webs still spinning,
Dead eyes stare.

Gun still smoking,
it's not fair,
mom still greiving,
Dead eyes stare.
Out the windows their watching,
They wouldn't dare,
Even though they know that only
Dead eyes stare.
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Old 03-15-2004   #2
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Re: Dead eyes stare.

nice man, i like it. simple, yet not simple, if that makes any sense.
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Old 03-15-2004   #3
moonlight_serenade
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Re: Dead eyes stare.

The continuous repetition of "dead eyes stare" really really creeped me out. Good job, though.
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Old 03-15-2004   #4
HauntedMike
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Re: Dead eyes stare.

Stu, is it a good thing that you creep me?

The repetition of the "air" sound is really effective.

-Mike
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Old 03-15-2004   #5
superchicken002
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Re: Dead eyes stare.

yeah that creeped me out too. good job, i liked it. You're an amazing writer Stu.
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Old 03-16-2004   #6
Stu
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Re: Dead eyes stare.

Wow... so it was actually creepy? That's good, it was meant to be!

As allways thank you blah blah blah.
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