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Old 10-05-2007   #1
use4d
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The cure for baldness

If you are bald and would like to cure it, please do the following.

GET:

(a) 1 teaspoon of table salt

(b) 3 or more DROPS of regular tap water

(c) MIX water and salt into paste
(NOTE: use enough DROPS of water to get salt "grainy" NOT too watery)

(d) rub and massage into scalp and rinse off with water

(e) DO THIS ONCE A DAY ONLY UNTIL NEW HAIR GROWTH APPEARS
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Old 10-05-2007   #2
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Re: The cure for baldness

I'm no expert, but how would applying salt water to your head help?
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Old 10-05-2007   #3
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Re: The cure for baldness

damn, all those days at the beach boogy boarding would have made me a god damn ape.
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Old 10-05-2007   #4
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Re: The cure for baldness

I've done it and it works great!
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Old 10-05-2007   #5
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Re: The cure for baldness

Quote:
Originally Said by amphiskios View Post
I've done it and it works great!
Really? o_O
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Old 10-05-2007   #6
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Re: The cure for baldness

I think he was being sarcastic...
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Old 10-05-2007   #7
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Re: The cure for baldness

Oh...
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Old 10-05-2007   #8
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Re: The cure for baldness

Quote:
Originally Said by use4d View Post
If you are bald and would like to cure it, please do the following.

GET:

(a) 1 teaspoon of table salt

(b) 3 or more DROPS of regular tap water

(c) MIX water and salt into paste
(NOTE: use enough DROPS of water to get salt "grainy" NOT too watery)

(d) rub and massage into scalp and rinse off with water

(e) DO THIS ONCE A DAY ONLY UNTIL NEW HAIR GROWTH APPEARS
Or until hell freezes over (which would probably happen before salt water would make hair grow)
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Old 10-05-2007   #9
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Re: The cure for baldness

At least I know my man looks sexy without his long locks.
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Old 10-06-2007   #10
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Re: The cure for baldness

Hey Zanahoria, why do you want to cure baldness so much? You can't be bald at 21 are you?
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Old 10-06-2007   #11
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Re: The cure for baldness

Quote:
Originally Said by amphiskios View Post
Hey Zanahoria, why do you want to cure baldness so much? You can't be bald at 21 are you?
Don't be so sure. I went to high school with two guys who were nearly bald by the time they graduated. And no, they didn't repeat grades.

I started losing my hair at 20. But that was due to my hypothyroidism and not being medicated for it. I've stopped the hair loss, though my hair is still thin and the strands weak.
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Old 10-06-2007   #12
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Re: The cure for baldness

Quote:
Originally Said by amphiskios View Post
Hey Zanahoria, why do you want to cure baldness so much? You can't be bald at 21 are you?
Do you know how difficult it is to find a realistic-looking and comfortable hair piece? Man...it ain't easy. Not easy at all.

Not really. You just seemed so enthusiastic. For a second I thought, "well, I don't know. Maybe the salt acts as an exfoliant of some sort upon one's scalp or, er, something."

Quote:
Originally Said by use4d
(b) 3 or more DROPS of regular tap water
What would happen if you used, say, TABLESPOONS of water? Chewbacca-esque?
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Old 10-06-2007   #13
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Re: The cure for baldness

Quote:
Originally Said by EmperorChaos View Post
Don't be so sure. I went to high school with two guys who were nearly bald by the time they graduated. And no, they didn't repeat grades.

I started losing my hair at 20. But that was due to my hypothyroidism and not being medicated for it. I've stopped the hair loss, though my hair is still thin and the strands weak.
Hey I definitely agree with you. Male pattern baldness runs in my family, and my uncle was had a receding hairline by 20. Both of my grandparents are bald, so I either dodge a bullet or really do need some of that salt water.

Quote:
Originally Said by Zanahoria_Picante
Do you know how difficult it is to find a realistic-looking and comfortable hair piece? Man...it ain't easy. Not easy at all.

Not really. You just seemed so enthusiastic. For a second I thought, "well, I don't know. Maybe the salt acts as an exfoliant of some sort upon one's scalp or, er, something."
I'm sorry, I was sarcastic about something that really isn't very funny. I'm not bald yet, but it doesnt look good for me. Ask again in a couple decades. Female baldness seems to be a worse disease than male, because it's less socially acceptable to shave your head and go around with just facial hair.
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Old 10-06-2007   #14
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Re: The cure for baldness

My best friend is 18 and has been losing his hair line since 9th grade (14). The two sides of the fron hairline are now about halfway back/the top of his head. Alothough the front/middle has only retreated a little bit.
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Old 10-06-2007   #15
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Re: The cure for baldness

Quote:
Originally Said by amphiskios View Post
I've done it and it works great!
You actually believed him.

Hil-arious.
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Quote:
Originally Said by Zanahoria_Picante View Post
Little Jimmy: (Tries to pour cereal from box; nothing comes out) "Nothing...for breakfast?"
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Announcer: "Nihilistic Crunch: Now utterly devoid of swirls!"
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Old 10-06-2007   #16
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Re: The cure for baldness

Quote:
Originally Said by amphiskios View Post
I'm sorry, I was sarcastic about something that really isn't very funny. I'm not bald yet, but it doesnt look good for me. Ask again in a couple decades. Female baldness seems to be a worse disease than male, because it's less socially acceptable to shave your head and go around with just facial hair.
No worries. *Assuaging grin* I do understand that the plummage one bears upon one's head is a sensitive subject, indeed. But, to me, hair is not a measure of one's dignity or respectability, for many an upstanding, venerable gentleman has sported a hairless cranium: Patrick Stewart (prime example), Robert Picardo, Ghandi, Bruce Willis--the list goes on.

And, yes, Mr. Defenestrate (), a mixture of extreme gullibility and wistfulness led me to consider Mr. amphiskios.' "proclamation..."
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Old 10-06-2007   #17
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Re: The cure for baldness

In before banhammer.
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Old 10-06-2007   #18
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Re: The cure for baldness

Quote:
Originally Said by Zanahoria_Picante View Post
many an upstanding, venerable gentleman has sported a hairless cranium: Patrick Stewart (prime example), Robert Picardo

I know I'll eventually lose my hair. I'm sure of it. And Patrick Stewart has helped me toe realize that is okay. Robert Picardo's just a hologram. I've no use for him.
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Old 10-07-2007   #19
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Re: The cure for baldness

Quote:
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I know I'll eventually lose my hair. I'm sure of it. And Patrick Stewart has helped me toe realize that is okay. Robert Picardo's just a hologram. I've no use for him.
Hey, holograms are people, too. That's what Voyager is all about, you know: Tolerance.

Besides, Robert Picardo was also the "meat man" in a few episodes of Home Improvement, which means his baldness is as tangible and non-photonic as Picard's (at least, at times). So there.

On a less painfully nerdy and more relevant note, I seriously think there's nothing wrong with baldness...Certainly, it's not worth rubbing salt and water all over your head in order to "cure" it. That's just uncanny.
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