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Old 07-11-2004   #1
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80 ways to fuk up your school

1. Get a syringe [minus needle] or similar device. Mix both tubes of epoxy
glue with a little rubbing alcohol. You now have about half an hour to
fill locks, door jams, etc. before glue hardens. If you can't get the
epoxy glue and syringe a tube of airplane cement can also be used although
it is not as permanent.

2. An alternative use for the syringe is to pretend to shoot up while a
teacher is watching. If they speak to you tell them you have to do it
because school is so horrible.

3. Call the school and leave the phone off the hook. The way some (but not
all) phone systems work this will tie up their phone for as long as yours
is off the hook.

4. Protest U.S. aid to reactionary regimes abroad by defoliating plants around
the school or by digging a bomb crater on the front lawn. When the ecology
freaks complain ask them where they were when the U.S. was doing the same
thing to Indochina.

5. Draw or paste something 'obscene' on pull-down wall maps or movie screens.

6. Get some of the punch cards that you school uses for taking attendance.
Punch new holes in them either with a keypunch machine or a screwdriver.
Then switch the cards with others wherever they are stored. If you can
figure out the code the cards are punched by this has even more
possibilities. You can often be just as effective without actually
repunching the cards by redistributing them a few days after you collect
them (particularly when they're used for attendence).

7. Start an information service to let new students opinions and warnings
about the teachers and administrators before enrollment day.

8. Bad food? Have a good old fashioned food riot.

9. In gym classes or in hallways between classes have massive searches for
'lost' contact lenses telling people not to walk through the hall or "you
might step on it".

10. If your school still has s dress code protest it having everyone do
something disruptive that does not violate the code. For example dye your
hair green with food coloring.

11. Free all the animals in the biology classroom.

12. Write a 'consumer report' on the 'education' you've been consuming.
Distribute it to parents at school functions.

13. Periodically have students go to the office to have some rumor confirmed
or denied.

14. Perform citizen's arrests of administrators for destroying the minds of
youth then telephone the police to come and take the criminals into
custody. This would be an excellent guerilla theatre action.

15. Rip off dishes and silverware from the cafeteria, towels from the gym,
stencils and paper from the duplicating room layout equipment from the art
and drafting departments, tools from the wood shop and light bulbs from
the sockets. Give them to a needy movement group.

16. During lunch turn on and light all the gas jets in the science labs.

17. Demand to see your school records on file. (Everyone can see them).

18. You can make a very effective fuse by inserting a non-filter cigarette in
a book of matches so that it touches the head of some matches and will
ignite them when it burns down that far. Then loosly crumple paper around
the matches and cigarettes so that they are hidden. Toss it in a
wastebasket or any other area with a lot of papers preferably in the
office. It takes 5 minutes to ignite - by then you can be on the other
side of the building. Practice this at home before trying it.

19. Have giant coughing or sneezing epidemics in class or study hall.

20. Rub lipstick/glue/vaseline or shit onto the doorknobs of the school's
administrative offices.

21. Swallow some snake bite antidote then walk into the principal's office.
The antidote (most types are harmless - make sure you get that kind) will
make you vomit. Do so all over his carpet, desk, clothing, etc. then
apologize profusely.

22. Pick up some dog training liquid at any pet store - it smells like
concentrated piss. And if you can't figure out what to do with that then
you shouldn't be reading this.

23. Remove contents of teacher's mailboxes. Print up everything that's
confidential or interesting.

24. Leave notes and hints that 'Tuesday's the day'.

25. Impersonate parental voices and make irritating phone calls to the office.

26. Make a super stink bomb out of Hydrogen Sulfide and put somewhere in the
ventilating system. This has cleared school buildings for days.

27. If your school has a suspended ceiling (that is a ceiling composed of
rectangles or squares resting on a frame so that the rectangles can be
pushed up) you can put a dead fish or anything else above them. Or put it
into empty lockers and glue them shut.

28. Put signs on your locker saying 'this locker will self-destruct if opened
for inspection'.

29. Give your school library a subscription to a good underground newspaper
from your area and insist that they make it available to students.

30. Print up false notices frequently using the same format as the school uses
and distribute them to the teachers mailboxes. Eventually they'll never
know what to believe.

31. Make your own passes, forms, tickets, etc. or lift them out of teachers'
desks.

32. Need a signature? Collect things that have teachers' signatures on them.
Paste them all down on a sheet of white paper and either xerox or print up
a bunch of copies. Forge when useful. When getting started you might
put a piece of carbon paper under the signature with the carbon paper
facing down on what you want signed. Then trace over the name with a
steady relaxed hand. Practice makes perfect.

33. Do some revolutionary wall painting. All you need is a can of spray paint
(red?) plus a little imagination and courage. Then write your favorite
slogans on walls, sidewalks, blackboards -etc. If you are a perfectionist
you can make a stencil, but that limits the size of what you can do. WEAR
GLOVES or you will certainly get tell-tale paint on your spraying finger.

34. Are certain teachers or administrators misbehaving? Print up a rat sheet
with their names and telephone numbers and distribute it. Now students
can call up at any time and reprimand them - 3.00 A.M. for example. Also
you could order them pizzas, plumbers, think big!

35. Break into your school at night and burn it down. To get inside you can
either hide in the building during the day and wait until the janitor
leaves (know in advance what time that is) or come in later at night and
either force your way through the door -find an open window, or break a
window (see Monroe Mindfuck). If you use the latter method do it a few
hours or days in advance so you don't get caught if it attracts attention.
Be careful not to leave fingerprints - wear gloves all the time if
possible. Once inside make sure the walls will light well by placing
loose paper or wood around them -or squirting lighter fluid, kerosene or
gasoline onto them. If alot of burnable boxes are stacked in one area
spread them around. Start the fire from the inside of the building so it
will take longer before it can be seen from the windows. Make sure the
fire has a way to travel from one burnable area to another. Of course you
should wear dark clothes and know exactly where you are going when you
split.

36. Get hold of a film to be shown at a school assembly and splice in parts of
another movie of your own choosing before the assembly. A little
imagination on your part will make for an unforgettable day.

37. Clog up the drains of sinks with clay then turn on the water after
everyone leaves school.

38. Teachers often leave gradebooks, conduct sheets and attendance records
unguarded. Take every chance to help yourself.

39. Put up posters all around the school. To make them stick permanently, use
Pet evaporated milk for glue.

40. You could ice-pick tires as a warning, but make sure you have a total
enemy before you put sugar in their gastank.

41. Start wailing in the halls.

42. If you can't find any skunks, let chickens loose in the school or pigeons.

43. Create the 'WEB OF THREAD' in your classroom. Have everybody in your
class bring a spool of thread - with extras for people who forget. Tie
your thread onto something and pass the spools around till you run out,
winding thread around everything. (It is best to pick on one of your more
dullwitted teachers for this one). Expalin that you did it in the name of
art.

44. Carry and pretend to sell oregano rolled in papers and aspirin with the
name filed off.

45. Put Calcium Carbide (available in some parts of the country as
'Gopher-Go'. (Also available in some hobby and joke shops) in a gelatin
capsule and flush down a toilet or sink. Calcium Carbide reacts violently
with water, quickly producing large amounts of gas and bursting pipes etc.
as soon as the water disolves the capsule.

46. Ride a bicycle down a busy hall.

47. Save your book reports and essays. Give them to other students to use
next year or re-use them yourself with different teachers.

48. Play with lighting and microphone controls during 'important' assemblies.

49. Flush things down the toilets (preferably faculty johns) like baloons
filled with air, baseballs, M80's ,huge amounts of toilet paper, etc. Then
build an ark.

50. Start a campaign to have the letter Z appear everywhere as the mark of
angry students.

51. You can short-circuit the school's wiring by taking a regular plug with a
short cord attached. Connect the two wires with a switch between them.
Plug it in, turn the switch on and you've blown a fuse. Turn it off, pull
it out and try another. You don't have to use the switch, but if you
don't sometimes the current will arc and weld the plug to the socket.

52. Set up a fake school and hire away the lousy teachers, or put up notices
inviting the entire school to a going away party for a teacher who isn't
really leaving.

53. Read the school budget. Reprint and distribute a list of the stupid
expenditures.

54. Take booze to lunch in a thermos and pass it around.

55. During some important test (SAT/ACT/etc.) on each subject have some
student who is good at that subject stand up and read the correct answers
for as long as possible. When they're finished or silenced have someone
else stand up and do the same thing. The test results will be worthless
and it will have to be given over at great cost to the school.

56. Take down the American flag in front of the school and put up one of your
own. The best way to do this is to lower the flag that's already up
replace it with your flag and cut the rope about a foot below where the
flag is attached. Then tie a slip knot around the other end of the rope
that is hanging down to raise the flag. At this point there is no way
your flag can be lowered without someone climbing up the flagpole.

57. Put alarm clocks in various lockers set on 'loudest'. Set the alarm
clocks so they will go off about every 10 minutes then close and lock the
lockers.

58. Have a group of people march around the school with a flag singing the
Star Spangled Banner. If the administration tries to punish you telephone
your local radio stations and patriotic groups and complain that your
school is being run by pinkos.

59. In a class where there is a rule against chewing gum have everyone blow a
bubble at the same time one day.

60. Many schools have automatic sprinkler systems which go off automatically
when sensors in the ceiling feel too much heat. Find the sensors and hold
up a match to them.

61. Persuade the graduating class to use their senior gift money for something
useful or subversive.

62. Reprint SchoolStoppers Textbook in your underground paper or on a leaflet
or buy bulk copies and pass them around.

63. Demand that all equipment being stored rather than being used be made
available to students.

64. If your school won't have a teacher evaluation make up some forms and do
it yourself. Compile the result and publicize them to students, faculty,
school board, and community.

65. Use your 'free choice' book reports, term papers, etc. to read
revolutionary literature and further the political education of you and
your class.

66. Have a student lie on the ground. When a teacher comes scream 'he jumped'
and point to the roof or third floor window. Mumble "Fred dared him" or
"Maybe it was LSD."

67. Make an address list of disliked adults in your school. Answer sex ads
for them or order them a few gross items (C.O.D. of course).

68. Toss handfuls of BB's on the floors of busy halls, assemblies, graduation
ceremonies, weddings, funerals.

69. Steal cafeteria trays or plates, burn large holes in them and turn them
into the school washer saying "I guess the food did it".

70. Leave phony letters of resignation from teachers or administrators on the
principal's desk.

71. Get a small group to always carry screwdrivers and slowly dismantle the
school.

72. Lots of bomb scares tend to break up the boredom especially during exams
or on beautiful days.

73. Photograph teachers and administrators constantly, even without film.

74. If you've got the nerve piss in your pants while giving an oral report.

75. Splice into your school's intercom system (from a remote hidden spot).
Now you have your own guerilla radio station. Play on!

76. Drop large bottles of ether in science class.

77. Hang your teacher! Hang a hangman's noose from a tree, make a dummy and
hang the dummy from the noose. Pin notes on it like 'Weatherbee in '73.'
To add realism put holes in the body then let dilute ketchup trickle down.

78. Newspaper stands in buildings are usually left unguarded. Take out papers
and replace with rotten comics or papers.

79. Put a rotten apple or stale sandwich on teacher's desk.

80. If your school intercom has phones that connect into the intercom
switchboard, put a small magnet either where the cord comes out of the
handset or in the part where you hear. If the intercom just has a
speaker, put the magnet near or on one of the electrical connections of
the speaker. In either case it will short out the system. It may take
weeks for them to find the trouble.
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Old 07-11-2004   #2
tynie
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Re: 80 ways to fuk up your school

the whole flush down things down the toilet thing, that works soooo well.

I flushed down a fleet of paper boats once.....heheheh
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Old 07-11-2004   #3
Mr Stabby
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Re: 80 ways to fuk up your school

Quote:
Originally Said by molly_flogger
79. Put a rotten apple or stale sandwich on teacher's desk.
we actually did this, except we put it ina desk, first year of highschool, it stayed there over the summer months while no one was there....an stunk really badly when we got back in the september
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Old 11-11-2004   #4
Thoughtcrime
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Re: 80 ways to fuk up your school

I'd give you rep, but I've given waaaaaaaaaay too much rep tonight. And you can tell I feel strongly about when I use lots of the same letter. It looks fugly.
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Old 11-12-2004   #5
ueatpoo
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Re: 80 ways to fuk up your school

the best thing to do is to get into the lawn sprinklers outside figure out the controls and spray people with water as they walk on the lawn. most fun i had at school!
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