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Old 12-26-2007   #1
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Bad jokes

So here are some jokes you probably won't appreciate very much, and you probably won't find very funny anyway. But I'll try:


Knock knock
Whos there?
911
911 who?
9/11! you said you'd never forget!!



Q: Have you ever had Etheopian food?
random person: No, why?
A: They haven't either.


I feel like a bad person for laughing at those when I heard them.
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Old 12-26-2007   #2
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Re: Bad jokes

better ethiopan joke;

have you ever seen the ethiopian flag?
no?
that cause they ate it.
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Old 12-27-2007   #3
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Re: Bad jokes

Q: What did the midget say when he walked into the bar?

A: "Ouch!"
=-=-=-=

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?

A: Doesn't matter what you call 'em, he still ain't coming...
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Old 12-27-2007   #4
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Re: Bad jokes

haha the dog one is horrible but soo funny.
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Old 12-27-2007   #5
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Re: Bad jokes

Quote:
Originally Said by Drogdar View Post

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?

A: Doesn't matter what you call 'em, he still ain't coming...
it has to be in the top 10 of all time :D
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Old 01-07-2008   #6
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Re: Bad jokes

Two jews walk into a bar, they buy it.
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Old 01-08-2008   #7
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Re: Bad jokes

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Old 01-10-2008   #8
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Re: Bad jokes

Q: whats the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?

A: I DONT have a Cadillac.


Q: Whats the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead baby in the road?

A: The dog has skid marks leading to it.


Q: Whats the fastest way to paint a house red?

A: Throw babies at it.
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Old 01-11-2008   #9
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Re: Bad jokes

Haha, babies! I love it lol.
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Old 01-11-2008   #10
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Re: Bad jokes

Drog. Fool. Its how many babies does it take to paint a house red? Depends on how hard you throw them.
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Old 01-11-2008   #11
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Re: Bad jokes

Which is worse: ten dead babies in one trashcan or one dead baby in ten trashcans?

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean surrounded by sharks?
Fucked.

What's present do you get for a dead baby?
A dead puppy.

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.
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Old 01-11-2008   #12
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Re: Bad jokes

What worse than a truckload of dead babies?
Unloading it with a pitchfork.

What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.

What has four legs and one arm?
A rabid dog on a children's playground.

How do you make your baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock on its teddy bear.

Why do babies have a soft spot on their heads?
So you can pick them up five at a time.
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Old 01-11-2008   #13
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Re: Bad jokes

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks, "Why the long face?"
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Old 01-11-2008   #14
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Re: Bad jokes

dyslexic man walks into a bra.
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Old 01-11-2008   #15
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Re: Bad jokes

Abdul and Paddy are begging outside a railway station. Abdul has a Mercedes, a large house and is loaded, Paddy has fuck all. Abduls begging hat is overflowing with with numerous notes but Paddy has just a few coppers in his. "How do you do it?" asks Paddy. "Look at your sign" says Abdul. Paddys sign reads "Out of work, wife and 6 kids to support, please help". Paddy then looks at Abduls sign which says "I only need another £20 to get back to Pakistan".


A three year old boy, after examining his testicles in the bath says to his mother "Mummy, are these my brains?" His mother replies "No son, not yet."


This morning a suspected Pakistani bomber was shot 68 times in a raid on his Bradford home. When interviewed, Detective Chief Inspector Thomas, who led the investigation was asked "Why 68 bullets on 1 man?" He replied "Yes sorry about that, we ran out of ammo".


My old Grandad's motto in life was "What you can't see, won't hurt you."

He died of radiation poisoning.


A very badly behaved little boy refuses to get off of a very expensive rocking horse on display in a department store. His embarrassed mother eventually gives in and asks for some help from a shop assistant. "Don't worry" says the assistant "We employ a very qualified child psychologist at our store to deal with this kind of thing". She makes a quick call and within minutes he appears, goes over to the unruly brat and gently whispers in his ear. The child imediately dismounts the horse and once again joins his mother. The shop assistant looks admiringly at the psychologist and says "That was amazing, what did you say to him?". He leans to her and quietly says "Get off that horse now or i'll kick the fuck out of you, you little bastard!".


What's the difference between a British and an Iraqi soldier?
Don't know?
Welcome to the United States Air Force son!
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Old 01-11-2008   #16
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Re: Bad jokes

Q: What happens when you throw a baby down the stairs?

A: I don't know about you, but I get an erection.
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Old 01-11-2008   #17
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Re: Bad jokes

how many vietnam war vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
YOU DONT KNOW MAN, YOU WERENT THERE.
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Old 01-12-2008   #18
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Re: Bad jokes

Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was chained to a bumper

How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.


What's worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on your porch?
Matt.

Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first ?
To see the expression on it face!

What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
A trashcan lid in a dead baby.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on a beach?
Sandy.

What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

Why did the toddler drop it's lollipop?
It was hit by a truck.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.

What's bright blue, pink, and sizzles?
A baby trying to breast feed from an electrical outlet.
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Old 01-12-2008   #19
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Re: Bad jokes

I love dead baby jokes!

Whats better than one baby in ten trash cans?
Ten babies in one trash can.

Whats better than that?
Theres one alive at the bottom.

Whats better than that?
It eats it's way out.
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Old 01-12-2008   #20
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Re: Bad jokes

Warning: Really mean baby jokes follow. Read at own risk.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms, no legs, in the middle of the ocean?
Fucked.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
Nail it's other hand to the floor.

What do you call a dead baby with no arms or legs, hanging on your wall?
Art.

How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends on how hard you throw them.

Whats white and red and hangs off a telephone wire?
A baby shot through a snowblower.

What do you get when you dislocate a baby's jaw?
Deep throat.

Whats better than a dead baby?
The revoked child support.

Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls, and a truck load of babies?
You can't unload the truck load of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

Why do you unload a truck load of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.
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