Pass The Ghost Story

[cstoll]

Fabio watched the action unfold from a distance. He was in one of the three ships flying toward Alana and Spiner, but his heart wasn't really in the gang anymore. Ma was malicious, yes, but, sadly, his inability to carry out any malicious plans made him a bit of a retard in Fabio's eyes.

So, Fabio put on a good show, flying behind the other two ships as they shot blasts at Alana and failed to blow up her ship. He listened to Ma and Serg and shook his head at Serg's ability to make Ma an even more retarded villain. He took a moment--a Fabio moment--to imagine a fiery explosion surrounding Ma's ship. Sadly, it didn't happen.

The intercom crackled:
Ma: Fabs! Get'em! Getem! Getem!
Fabio: On it, boss. I'm just giving them a false sense of security.
Ma: (garbled Ma rage)
Fabio: You got it, boss.

Then, Fabio saw Serg fly directly at Alana's ship. He saw the other two ships in his crew very close to Alana. Ma was behind Serg. They were all about to run into each other. Fabio saw some kind of movement or light or something from the space station, but he was too confused by the fact that the words "TOP SECRET" were written on the station to put it all together.

He didn't know that major explosions were about to happen. But he knew something was going to happen, and later (even if for only a moment) that would comfort him because it made him feel less stupid than Ma.

[cstoll]

And then it happened.

Serg had planned it perfectly--bringing all of the ships into a collision course as he signaled a request to the space station to beam himself, Alana, and Spiner out of their ships and into the station. He hoped for three things:
1. that people were on the station.
2. that they were listening.
3. that they had developed teleportation technologies.

At the last moment, Serg flipped his ship so that he could see Ma's face. Ma had that look on his face that you get when you realize your spaceship is about to collide with someone else's spaceship in the nowhere of outer space--where no one could hear you scream, as well as being out of range of 911 and AAA.

Serg tried to flip Ma the middle finger, but his last minute maneuver with the ship had thrown him off, so he flipped three fingers, but still felt pretty cool about it.

Fabio saw shimmers of light from inside the spaceships before a flurry of explosions...and then pieces of ships floated by Fabio.

Fabio breathed a sigh of relief, hoped that Serg and Alana were safe on the space station, and then set course for an inhabitable planet where he could grow his mustache in peace.

...

Serg, Alana, and Spiner materialized on the space station.

Alana, relieved to see Serg, nearly knocked him over with her full-throttle, run-hug combination.
Spiner, embarrassed by emotional display, examined the robots that seemed to run the station and that beamed them aboard.
Alana: "I can't believe we're alive."
Serg: "I never doubted me for a second, babe."
Alana: "Will you miss anything on Earth?"
Serg, silent for a moment: "Sarah."
Alana: "Sarah?"
Serg: "My bike."
Alana: "Okay."

Serg and Alana turned to the panoramic screen display of space, where they watched the ships explode in the silent, cold dark.

The End.

[Zanahoria_Picante]

^ Very nice, as ever.

Mateo, do you want to continue or should we call that "the end" and start a new story? It's up to you, bro.

...bro.

[psychoDiablo]

Nah that's good. New story!

[Zanahoria_Picante]

'Kay!

cstoll, would you like to start the next story? Otherwise, I'm down...for starting...it. <:]

[cstoll]

Start it up, please. My idea is a bit bland.

[Zanahoria_Picante]

(^ Your idea was likely more interesting than the inanity that follows. )



Simon, Penelope, Soda (a brown-haired, female person), Bartholomew, and Larry (the school's 77-year-old janitor) all went to the same high school. What brought them all together again on that cool, October night, other than boredom, was their almost masochistic enjoyment of each others company.

"Dude, I'm serious. This place will be awesome," Bartholomew said, turning his mom's minivan onto yet another vacant road banked by cornfields. (If only his parents knew the crap he pulled when they were on weekend "dates.")
"We've been driving for hours!" Penelope whined, "seriously, this is, like, a perfect way to waste our fall break."
"We've only been driving for about 10 minutes..." Simon said quietly, almost to himself.
"No, dude. You are gonna love this!" Barth chuckled as dumbly as someone as dumb as him would, "and it'll be even more awesome 'cause no one else will be there at 11:30 at night."
"I'm thirsty," added Soda.
They pulled into a small "encampment" with one, main shack which stood in a clearing in front of an especially crusty-looking corn field.
"A...corn maze?" Simon said.
"Yeah, dude! Free stuff, you know? And it's creepy. It'll be fun, c'mon!" Barth retorted.
"'Grow, grow, grow'! Thayt's all this ol' farmer used to do!" Larry agreed.
"Okaywhatever," Soda blurted as she, in an instant, opened her door and jumped out--after a startled pause, followed by everyone else. She began bolting towards the entrance to the maze.
"O-okay," Barth said, and they chased after her.

[cstoll]

Soda was the first into the maze, the rest trailing behind her.
Larry ambled along, saying "You whippersnappers run along. I'll catch up in due time, I will. Yup, yup."

Barth ran past Larry and caught up with the group.
"Dude," Barth exclaimed in a low-key, dude-ish manner.
"Are my shoes, like, gonna get grass stains on them and stuff?" Penelope wondered out loud, having zero capacity for internal dialogue.
"How long has this corn field been here?" Simon asked Barth.
"Dunno. Ask Larry. Larry?" They all looked behind them.
"Down here, young'uns," Larry said, ten feet ahead of them.
"How does he do that?" Simon asked.

Then, Soda darted deeper into the cornfield.

[Zanahoria_Picante]

"Soda? SODA?! Slow DOWN! UGH!!" Barth quacked, then roaring with frustration and leaning forward like a crazed baboon.
"Why do I bring this upon myself?" Simon muttered, "Ah!" he practically soiled himself, for the phantasmagorical Larry appeared right next to him, almost hexing, "better keep up, little ones. Or they'll getcha! Heh heh." Simon jolted again as Larry literally disappeared before his eyes. Simon choked out a single sob and ran into the maze and almost into Barth; Simon toppled backwards into the corn, desperately clinging to and snapping a cornstalk.
"Dudeguys," Barth goaded, "I've seriously lost Soda! Dude." They all, finally, gathered in the first blustery, full-moon-illuminated turn into the maze. Simon crawled out of the corn.
"Whatever. She's like such a drama queen," Penelope squawked.
"Three tarns payst midnight. 47 steyps bayckwards. 8 feet belaw graound..." Larry chanted.
"Okay, since apparently no one else is going to say this, shouldn't we be going after Soda sometime this century?" Simon said feebly.
Larry, then, as if "shoved," stumbled forward around the corner and out of sight.

[Tala]

"Larry, wait up, we need to find Soda!" Simon exclaimed. The group, headed by Simon, started to charge after the charge-ing Larry. Simon was the first to reach Larry and grabbed him by the arm. Together they were pulled forward by some force. Following Larry and Simon, the group got a few turns in when they heard a deafening shriek behind them.
"Whoa, dudes, whoa! What was that?" Barth needlessly exclaimed, expecting the others to stop with him.
It was then that Barth noticed an odd silence. It was the kind of silence that was not filled with pointless comments and continuous complaints. Penelope was missing.
Barth retraced the maze to where they had left Penelope, expecting the worse, only to find her capably standing there, openly and incoherently sobbing.
"Are you ok?!" Barth asked, not out of concern, but for his ear drums to stop ringing.
"MY SHOOOOOOOOES!!!" Penelope shrieked like a dog whistle. "THE HEAL OF MY 'TWELFTH STREET BY CYNTHIA VINCENT SEYMOUR METALLIC GOLD PUMPS' HAS JUST BROKEN OFF!!! I JUST BOUGHT THOSE ON EBAY!!!"
Barth looked around, only to see that he had now lost Simon and Larry as well. "Dude, why do I get stuck with you?" Barth muttered.

[psychoDiablo]

A high pitched sound sounded off. Ringing throughout everyone's ears.
"AHHHHH!!"""
They all bowed down to the noise grabbing their skulls. Gripping their heads to coincide.their equilibrium.
Then it was gone. The instant it showed up, the next instant it was gone.
"Ahhhh!! Hhhhooollly shiiiitA!" Simon sweared for the first time in his life.
"OMG!..." Expecting the worst, Barth looked at Penelope and then she finished her sentence, "Ohhh! My hair is fringy!" Oblivious to what just happened she pulled out a mirror and a comb.
"Dude, are you serious? Where's Simon at come on?"

Simon, somehow by himself, wondering through some crazy maze of cornfield for no reason, casually found himself thinking and pondering about life and all it can concern. What if the corn stalk he had just broke had some sort of origin on the meaning of life itself? Like an insect extincting away, what would happen to mankind as Earth itself?

A loud noise rang off and Simon's ear almost started bleeding. He screamed, almost to death, at the top of his puny lungs. "EEEEEEEEE"


"Is this thing on? Oh hell!" Larry said into a mic. "Darn ol thing just never gave the time o day, I'll say it...." Larry trailed off over an intercom.

[cstoll]

Soda didn't hear Larry's mic check. Nor did she hear Penelope screaming about her ruined shoes. She paid attention only to the pounding of her feet into the earth as she ran through the maze, her shoulders and hands rippling through cornstalks. She paused to catch her breath, and noticed something odd about the moon: it seemed to be in a different place, and why was there a second moon way over there? Or was it the same one twice?
"Ohwellwhatever," she muttered and continued into the maze.

"Simon!" Barth yelled, dragging Penelope along. "Where are you?"
"Are you SURE eBay will allow me to return these shoes?"
"I told you. It. Will. Be. Fine. Keep moving." Barth tried to summon the anger management techniques he had learned in a juvenile anger management course after that summer when he inexplicably, on two separate occasions, attacked two clowns. Running into clowns here seemed a bit unlikely, but Penelope's brand of vapidness was second only to his strange fear and dislike of clowns.

As they began to round the next corner, they heard Simon talking, but they didn't hear Larry or anyone else talking back.

[Zanahoria_Picante]

Around the turn, Simon knelt, his back to Barth and Penelope.

"UGHunhUGH!" Penelope whined. She ripped her right shoe off, snapping the strap, and speared it into the air above the corn, "Ruined. RUINED!!"
Simon laughed, but did not turn around; still talking to nobody.
"Um, Simon, dude? Are you okay?" Barth asked.
"POTAYTAHS!" Larry chimed in over the mic.
Barth and Penelope jumped.
"SHHHHHH!" Simon jerked his head to the side, frowning, then shifted around to face them, still on his knees, "she's trying to sleep." His eyes were solid black.
"Ew," Penelope sneered.
"DUDE!!" Barth wailed in the same moment; he recoiled and fell backwards, "DUDE, SERIOUSLY!!"
Simon stood. He brought his hand to his mouth, almost coyly, and his eyes smiled.

Meanwhile, Soda, in her one-part desperate, one-part subconscious pursuit of beverages, suddenly encountered something odd--even by her definition. That "something odd" was smiling, waving one hand and holding a bouquet of red balloons in the other, and, it appeared, self-illuminated. Next to it (the clown, that is!) glowed a Pepseh Cola machine.
She hesitated.

"This must be the reason for the phrase, 'thrown away like an old shoe,'" moaned Penelope's pump, caught on the side of a stalk, "I can't say I've ever wanted to experience it."

[psychoDiablo]

Simon crouched on his knees as his friends stood in front of him, staring at him in awe. Was he going to do it?! Simon's smile grew to a grin which opened his mouth and OM! He chomped down a 8 inch banana slug in the middle of a cornfield maze. His teeth seered thru the slug as if it was a gummi bear. The slugs guts and liquids blew up out of it's body, spilling onto the sides of Simon's cheeks and dropping below onto his clothes.
"MMMMMMMMMMMMM...Ohhh! omomomomom" Simon was a riot. Sucking and slurping and sliming up his face in slug ooze. He ate through it like a watermelon, leaving the outer parts untouched. He threw the disgusting mess to the ground. He looked above his friends head and belched. Loudly.
He burped and then let one rip. He farted so hard he blew a hole through his underwear. "Uh!" He flinched.
He pat his belly and took a look at his friends. Blood and snot covering and running down his face. His clothes were wiped with slug shit everywhere. The only thing the mother fucker could think of was, "God damn..."
Barth threw the fuck up. "BLLLLLLLLEEEHHHAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!" He fell to his knees and threw up some more, eventually falling over to his side and passing out.
Penelope fainted and dropped onto her back. But the sight of Simon devouring a giant slug and the stench now about the place and Barth yaking up his guts, in her dream while fainted, she still threw up. Threw up on her own face.

Over the intercom: "Darn now datsum goo ol kneeslappin' ol whissy usetogitlikedat boy ill tell ya dere u da do bet rererleen up ha! ha! i got the stuff."

[Tala]

After having caught and devoured his prey, Simon was content. After all, he hadn't had a banana slug in ages and this one just hit the spot! Hearing Larry's mention of "the stuff," Simon went to search for Larry in hopes of finding some desert. He took Penelope’s shoe with him for protection.
"I'm baaaaaack!" squealed the overly affectionate pump.

Believing that the world was a stage and that he had the "intercom advantage," Larry started to perform karaoke - without background music.

"Sun's comin up and the rooster crows
Hound dog chewin on a chicken bone
You and me just havin a ball
That's a good thing that old mule can't talk
Ain't no tellin what he might say
Hillbillies love it in the hay..."

Soda stared longingly at the machine. Soda was, after all, her weakness. She made to grab a can of Tab soda (low in sugar, high in caffeine) which she medically needed six of every day to survive. The clown, however, cut her off. He smiled, with his sad sad face, and set forward the conditions. "You can only use my soda machine on one condition." Soda trembled. "You must first promise to be my bestest friend."
"OK," Soda shrugged and reached for a Tab. With the first sip, the deal was sealed.

[cstoll]

Barth and Penelope slept on a bed of their own vomit.
Barth woke up. "Duuuuude. Aw, dude," wiping the vomit away.
He then knew Penelope was awake: "I hate my life."
"We need to go find Simon, Penelope."
"Why, so I can pass out and vomit on myself again? This isn't college."

Barth felt a tingling up the back of his neck. A clown was near.
He and Penelope turned and then lurched up to their feet when they saw it, grinning and holding a dozen red balloons.
Without a word, Barth grabbed ears of corn and launched them at the clown, who merely let out a mechanical "heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh" laugh when they bounced off his head.
Smoothly, the clown held one balloon under his arm and twirled its string like a lasso. The string grew and gained speed, and he lashed it six feet across to Penelope--it wrapped around her arm. He let the balloon go, and it, well, ballooned, inflating more and more and lifting Penelope straight into the air.
"Heh-heh-heh," the clown laughed.
"I hate all of you!" Penelope screeched.
"Ah, crapsticks," Barth muttered as Penelope flew away.
"Dun-dun-DUNN," Larry intoned over the mic.

[psychoDiablo]

A gust of wind blew Penelope to the right of the maze. Barth saw Penelope float away. He ran down the cornstalk isle, hoping this would take him underneath Penelope, who undoubtedly had only one shoe on. Her bare foot and shoe flapping in the wind.
"Ugh! I can't even get down!" Penelope yelled at Barth.
"Uh... uh..." Barth was breathing hard. Panicked by the clown attack, Penelope in trouble and where the hell was Simon? He made his way to the end of the isle and went right. He could see Penelope, it didnt look like she was getting much higher. He noticed his path led him to a clearing in the maze. He creeped into it and stood in the middle. He could have sworn Penelope was floating right here. Then he remembered about the clown. Where was the clown? He started shifting his head in every direction. A crunch in the ground sounded off behind him. He peered into the thick cornstalk.
"S, s, Simon?" Barth studdered in his speech and step. He took another step forward toward the cornstalk. Then suddenly from behind Barth, Larry grabs his shoulder. Barth spun around and turned as white as a ghost and froze there standing.
"Bahah, ohh, ohh.." Larry cracked up laughing into a giant coughing fit.

"I am so bored now!" Penelope told the balloon, frustrated.

[Zanahoria_Picante]

"Oh, I know..." The balloon responded in a sad, low voice. Penelope twitched and squeaked. She looked up: The balloon had transformed into a Pegasus. The string once wrapped around her finger had turned into a hoof. Also a bit surprised by this turn, the Pegasus kicked its back foot--yes, the one Penelope was holding--and, in a strange and unlikely motion--flipped her onto its own back.
"Brooo ha ha!" The Pegasus cheered with saccharine glee, flapping and kicking towards the nearest moon.

"SERIOUSLY LARRY! Uggggggghh..." Barth sneered, "you're like the worst janitor ever! Why do we even take you with us all the time?! I HATE you!"
Larry just chortled some more, "hillbilly-dancing" in place, "gotta keep 'em busy, I's always says!"
Barth almost flashed his teeth.
And just at that, Simon dashed by an adjacent path, carrying what looked like a glittery, pink pump and giggling like a school girl.
"Dude, c'mon, Larry!" Barth barked. They both bolted after the dessert-crazed Simon.

"So, do you, like, hang out here all the time, and stuff?" Soda asked the clown, sipping her Tab.
The clown, ignoring her attempt at banter, silently pointed--and where it silently pointed, a path opened in the corn.
"Oh, okay!" Soda pranced into the demon path.

[cstoll]

Simon ran and giggled, carrying the pink pump, which was broken and smeared with the goo of Simon's slugmeal.
"I might as well be an Ugg boot," the pump whined.

Seeing Simon through the cornstalks, Barth ran along the parallel path.
"Come on, Larry! Keep up!"
"Haste makes waste, said the turkey to the baste!" Larry sang in response, ambling along, stopping to occasionally dance a jig or the robot.
"Larry, did you do a lot--and by a lot, I mean boatloads--of LSD when you were younger?"
And then Barth didn't see Simon on the other side anymore. Panicking, he charged into the corn.

[psychoDiablo]

Simon somehow winded himself up in the thick of the cornstalk.
"Hey!...Oh." He pushed against the leaves and put the pump in his mouth.
"Grrrr!" Simon growled getting frustrated with the stalk. Drool slipped out his mouth and around the shoe.

"Simon, you...dude!" Barth looked around in circle and couldn't find Simon. Come to think of it, Larry was now gone.
"Larry the janitor!" He called out. No body replied.
"Totally out of line!" Barth muttered to himself trampling down a path in search of Simon.

Penelope was soaring the skies looking down at everything.
"Gah, this wind is totally blowing my hair around. Can we land or something?"
The Pegasus displeased with her bitter sense of enjoyment, obeyed her command and landed.