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Old 06-30-2004   #7
Mr Stabby
Turned out to be crazy weird
 
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: UK
Age: 34
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Re: instead of making numerous threads and being a whore, i'll post a lot of jokes here.

Quote:
Originally Said by Spooky Girl Tyne
6 star hangover ******
You arrive home and climb into bed. Sleep comes instantly, as you were fighting it all the way home in the taxi. You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake you up. You notice that you bed has been cleared for take off and is flying relentlessly around the room. No matter what you do you now, you're going to chuck. You stumble out of bed and now find that your, room is in a yacht under full sail. After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls knocking off all the pictures, you find the toilet. If you are lucky you will remember to lift the lid before you spontaneously explode and wake the whole house up with your impersonation of walrus mating calls. You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing to make the walrus noises, spitting, and farting. Help usually comes at this stage, even if it is short lived. Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now turns into abuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving you there in the dark. With your stomach totally empty, your spontaneous eruptions have died back to 15-minute intervals, but your body won't relent. You are convinced that you are starting to turn yourself inside out and swear that you saw your tonsils projectile out your mouth on the last occasion. It is now dawn and you pass your disgusted partner getting up for the day as you try to climb into bed. She/He abuses you again for trying to get into bed with lumpy bits of dried vomit in your hair. You reluctantly accept their advice and have a shower in exchange for them driving you to the hospital. Work is not an option. The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make you sick again, like moving. You vow never to touch a drop again and who knows for the next two or three hours at least you might even succeed.
Yeah thats not as funny as it sounds, in reality that one is a real doozy....I have experianced it a few times in my life....an yeah you really do question drinking anything again.....

Quote:
Originally Said by Spooky Girl Tyne
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint to toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
Again another unhealthy experiance....very very very eerie when it happens

Quote:
Originally Said by Spooky Girl Tyne
Theres no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
I got my hand stuck in a train door once, it seems the lil auto detecter thing to stop the door closing if theres an obstruction wasn't working...bastard thing really hurt, cut my hand up a bit too.....damn cheap ass UK trains

Quote:
Originally Said by Spooky Girl Tyne
500 degrees below zero - Hell freezes over - England win European Championships
Only one thing needs to be said here....HI 'FUCKING' OH!!!!!!!!!!
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