Almost Smart

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Savage_Nature 05-25-2013 10:40 AM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
"Dr. Stein eh? What are you a doctor of exactly? Not too many hospitals out in this neck of the woods..." Jason was weary of these new guests, and not just because it had interrupted his sleep either.

"Erm, well, I'm a bit out of practice you see, these days I just.... well you know. Moving on then! This is quite the set up you have here! Very roomy, and cozy."

The group went through introductions and settled in by the fire. Toby sighed, "I'll go get some more wood." He opened the door to find a huge dump of snow had settled quite comfortably up to his waist just beyond the threshold. "For fucks sake!" Toby stomped down the hall to retrieve his warmer gear and trudged out the door to claim his prize."

"What a putz." Jason rolled his eyes.

Tanya was rather irritaded at Jason's comment, "How are you two so mean to each other?? Like, why are you even friends if all you do is insult each other?"

Jimmy John cracked a huge grin and chimed in, "Boys fight. Girls just mean. You no get it, giiiiirl!" Tanya frowned, clearly unimpressed at being teamed up on.

BANG! Everyone jumped clear off the floor, some now standing and staring at Toby, in the doorway, axe in hand, with a crazed expression written on his face. "Toby... buddy, I was only kidding man, put the axe down...." Toby gaped open mouthed from his friends down to the axe in his hands, then quickly shot a look out the door and slammed it shut, with a deft twist of the deadlock he braced his back to the door and gripped the axe against his chest. "Toby man, what the fuck?!"

"I was out there chopping wood and this... GUY, fell on me from behind, he was trying to bite me and shit, he was all wet and looked like he just crawled out of the fucking LAKE man. He was crazy!" Dr. Stein stiffened imperceptably before firing questions at poor frightened Toby. "What did he look like? What was he wearing? Are you sure he crawled out from the lake??" Everyone glanced nervously at the usually quiet Stein, was there something he hadn't told the group? Toby was regaining color to his face, "I uh, he was wearing like a gown, thing, you know, the shit nurses wear.... and I mean I didn't SEE him crawl out of the lake, but he was sopping wet and frozen all over. He had this insane look in his eye... wait, why do you care so much?"

Stein withdrew too late, realizing in his excitement he had alerted the others. His two helpers looked to the ground. Jason already on his feet pinned the good doctor to the wall. "You have some explaining to do, sir."

The group gaped at the doctor who had just finished his speel on what he had been up to. "So... you're making fucking zombies? For real?" Toby ran his hand over his body to make sure he hadn't been bitten in the tussle. "No! Idiot. I'm not trying to make zombies. I'm TRYING to create the philosphers stone!"

Toby furrowed his brow "What in the actual fuck is a file-oh-sof-icles stone?"

"Philosiphers stone! Immortality! The ability to live forever! Can you just imagine? It just is a tad hard to find willing participants for some of my tests.... so we occaisionally borrow bodies. When we're done our tests, we dump them in the lake."

This time Jason was up in arms, fists clenched, ready to do some real harm to the now infamous Stein. "What kind of sicko are you?! BORROW bodies?! That's stealing! That's... that's just fucked up man! How many of these things are there down there??"

Jimmy John was in like a dirty rag "We have work for ten year now, we do lot of test. Maybe how you say... 500?"

BANG! BANG BANG BANG! Everyone jumped as the door began to thud repeatedly.

Comrade Marx 05-25-2013 10:31 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
The door shook violently and the banging got louder.

“Everyone get to the study!” ordered Jason

The group ran as fast as they could to the study and left the Jimmy John and Dr. Stein. As the group ran down the dark hallway, they heard Dr. Stein yelled; “go ahead and run, you’ll only die tired”

The two couples piled into the study. Jason and Toby barricaded the door. Erika frantically looks for a phone with no luck.

“What the fuck are we going to do” Toby yells out frantically

“We need to calm down and we need to…” responded Jason

“FUCK YOU MAN! This is not Fallujah, you aint’t G.I. Joe with the Rangers anymore. That wasn’t some crazy camel jockey with an AK, that was…. It is…. Ah fuck man I don’t know what that thing was!” a now frantic Toby exclaims.

“Look we need to stick together, look you hit this thing, right? asked Jason

“Yeah…” responded Toby

“So if you can hurt it, it can bleed , if it bleeds it can die. Got it?”

“We’re all going to die out here” a frantic Ericka exclaims

“No were not, we need to stay calm, we need to stick together. But for now let’s see if we can find any weapons or anyway out of this place.” ordered Jason

“Well… I still got the axe” said Toby as he hold up the old wooden handled tool.

“That’s a start, Toby stand by the door. Girls let’s look around” responded Jason

Jason, Erika, and Tanya start searching around the study. Tanya goes to the desk and stars opening the drawers. She finds a M1911 pistol with a box of bullets. She holds up the gun and box and calls over Jason.

“Now were talking” an exciting Jason exclaims and walks over to the desk and takes the gun from Tanya and start to check it and load the bullets.

Erika starts to walk over from the bookshelves she was looking through. As she walks over, the floor gives way and her foot falls through. She lets out a horrifying scream as Jason and Tanya run over to pull her up. she is helped out of the hole. She sits on the floor and breathes heavily

“Erika, you okay?” asked Jason

“Yeah, I think so… my ankle hurts a lot” Erika responded

Jason and Tanya look down to see that Erika had many cuts on her foot and ankle and was starting to swell.
Jason looks into the dark hole to see if there was a way out, instead he finds a large metal box. Jason pulls out the box and find that it is pad locked.

“Toby, get over here and break this lock off” demanded Jason

Toby sprints over and swings the axe and hits the lock, it shatters into pieces. Jason and Tanya move in close to open the box as Toby goes back to the door and Erika tends to the cuts on her foot and ankle.

psychoDiablo 05-27-2013 01:19 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
Just as Jason put his fingertips on the dirty metal box, Tanya hiccups and scares him. She laughs, calls him a pussy and socks him in the arm.
"Are you drunk?" J says rubbing his shoulder. Tanya just smiled, "what the fuck do you think?" She stared at him, as if she lost sight of him, then her pupils refocused and she said, "hurry up and open the*hiccup fuckin' box m*hiccup*an, man." Jason looked at her without moving a muscle, she stared back, but her head was slightly swaying left and right. She hiccuped again and Jason busted up laughing. He got up from the box and told Tanya to open it and sat next to Erika, putting his arm around her neck as he asked her about her ankle.

"Ffffuck you man. I'll do what I want." Tanya was angry now. She stood up, looked at the box and kicked it the rest of the way toward the wall. The metal box scraped across the hardwood floor, tumbled over and flipped, leaving scratch marks on the wood floor. It crashed into the wall and the lid opened. Out came the contents of the metal box.

Tanya stood there drunk glaring at her friends. Jason was holding his girl as he yelled at Tanya. Erika was looking at what had come out of the box, but she couldn't be sure if her eyes were deceiving her. Toby was defending all them, pushing against the door.

"Come on you guys! What the fucks going on back there! They're coming in!"

Comrade Marx 05-31-2013 11:50 AM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
Erika slowly gets up and slowly limps over toward the box. While she was walking, the situation was growing more desperate. Toby was losing his grip as whatever was behind the door was pushing harder to get inside. Jason runs up to Toby with the M1911 tucked in his belt.

“Erika, get back from the box, Tanya, do something for chrisesakes, move your drunk ass, you're not dead yet” ordered Jason

Toby looked intensely at Jason and asked if they were going to die. Jason had seen and felt this fear before in Iraq when his squad was ambushed and many of them were killed. His horrors and ghosts from the past and from overseas followed him home. Jason gets lost, the night slowly turned into day, the cold winter rapidly turned into the scorching desert. Toby, Erika, and Tanya were gone; they were by his friends from the past; Davis, Johnson, and Rodriguez. The study melted into that small fucking death trap of a hut outside Fallujah. The gunfire and mortar strikes were intense, they were cut off from everyone else. The enemy was closing in, Jason shuts down, all hope was lost. He relives one of the worst days of his life. He hears familiar voices.

“For chrissakes Jason get up here and help us, hodgies are all over the place!” Davis yells

He hears Sgt. Johnson ordering him, “Snap out of it Ranger, you’re not dead yet!”

He looks down at the floor and sees Rodriguez lying on a stretcher screaming in agony as the medics try to save his life.

Zanahoria_Picante 06-09-2013 04:22 AM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
As Toby braced his back against the door, feeling each impact from the monsters on the other side, the hammering, scratching, punching on the door became the sound of explosions in Jason's war-torn memory.

"GET BACK!!" Jason shouted to his allies, "Rodriguez! Let fall the barricade!"

Confused, Toby only let fall his mouth, ajar, and he frowned dumbly at Jason. Toby's concentration had broken just long enough for the zombies to burst through and, as they groped wildly for their prey, thrashed over a lamp, the only source of light in the small room.


Just before the light went out, the girls had huddled under the desk.

Jason fired, and fired, and fired, and with each shot, struck down one of his enemies with the precision only a trained sharpshooter with superhuman intuition could achieve. With each round, the room was momentarily illuminated, revealing to Toby, who had been hurled against a bookshelf, a scene of unspeakable terror: A hoard of undead, human experiments hungry for human flesh one by one were being taken down by the one-man army known as "One-Shot Jay."

When he flew into the shelf, books had toppled from above, burying Toby temporarily out of the zombies' scope. Through an opening between the books, Toby tried to see, in the brief moments of illumination, where his axe had fallen. He groped around. It was only a few feet away from his bookicade.

Toby heard the click of an empty M1911.

Jason backed away from the hoard in the dark, fist clenched and trembling around his empty weapon. Desperate to protect his friends, he began pistol-whipping the zombies blindly in the dark with all his might.

Toby listened in horror. His mind raced for a way to help his friend. Then it struck him: His lighter.

Wriggling around under the books, Toby grasped the small lighter in his pants pocket. In a single, physics-defying move, Toby rolled out from underneath the books, lit the lighter, and set the books behind him ablaze. In a few seconds, the entire pile of old books had ignited.

"It was a pleasure to burn!" Toby howled.

For a moment, even the undead human experiments seemed weirded out. The zombies' decaying brains were unable to process this strangeness, strangeness even a healthy brain would struggle to accept.

Invigorated by his ingenuity and insanity, Toby laughed with the ecstasy of power only flaming weapons could bring: As the demons composed themselves and swarmed toward "The Great Master of the Inferno," Toby, fueled by pure adrenaline, began kicking the flaming books into the beasts, the impacts causing the demons to shriek and flee, all of them.

As the creatures disappeared into the night, the room quieted, except for the still-powerful crack and twist of the fire. Toby, in another moment of survival-induced brilliance, ran outside and grabbed heaps of snow in his shirt, and Jason followed suit. Together, they snuffed out the blaze.

The silence was then complete: They could hear the irregular whistle of snowy wind coming through the front door in the other room. Their other mysterious visitors had seemingly fled from the hoard.

Tanya hiccuped and laughed in the dark, and hiccuped again, which made her laugh more, as she stumbled out from under the desk. She turned on the flashlight she had been holding the entire time and pointed it at the corpse-covered floor, "lye-gwow, *hiccup!* yah-gy-ser priddygooda killin' slombies! *hiccup!*" She swigged the vodka bottle she was also still holding. Then, she vomited.

At that, Jason snapped back to reality; he slapped the bottle out of Tanya's hand and it rolled across the floor, "you stupid, drunken ditz! That might've helped us, say, 10 minutes ago!" He wrenched the flashlight from her hand.

There was a pause; flashlight in hand, they surveyed the damage. Erica sobbed at the piles of bodies.

Taking charge and putting his arm around Erica, Jason rallied the group, "first, let's seal the door. Then, we look what was inside that box."

Savage_Nature 06-09-2013 11:35 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
The group had fortified the door with some overturned shelves, though there was no sound aside from the violent whipping wind. A few old lanterns had been lit casting long shadows across the distinctly morbid floor. Jason stared at the bodies, trickery of the light seemed to make the now fully dead bodies twitch on the floor. Ignoring this unsettling effect Jason turned the box back onto its base and peered inside. A small box of bullets was inside, half empty, and some assorted personal effects, old pictures, a medal from the world war. He lingered for a moment on the medal running his finger across the beautiful patina before turning away. With mechanical precision he pushed the mag release - deftly catching the falling steel in his other hand and reloading the magazine. Slamming the mag home he thumbed the slide lock flicked the safety and pocketed the weapon. "So, what do we do guys?"

Toby had calmed Erika and Tanya was in a corner, shock had caused her to act non-chalant about the situation but she now had a look of abject terror on her face as she re-lived the last few minutes of her life. Toby spun the axe in his hands, and gingerly ran a finger across the tip to test the sharpness - it was dull, he frowned. We need weapons. We need to get to the vehicle and leave.

"Fucking great *hic* plan! FUCK! THERE IS LIKE, *hic* twent*hic*y feet of *hic* snow!!!" Tanya was getting worked up again, she collected herself and sat back in her corner, arms around her knees, sobbing weakly.

"She's not the most eloquent, but she is right." Toby Frowned "We have to hold out here, maybe they wont even come back?"

"Longshot" Jason pounded his fist into the desk startling Tanya from her grief, she wormed over to Erika for comfort. "Weapons first, the girls need something, I have the gun, you have an axe, what can we use in here?? He glanced around trying to answer his own question when his eyes settled on Erika. She was holding a rather elegant letter opener with ivory handle in her hand, looking as threatening as a kitten with some string. "That's a good start, maybe we should find somethign bigger though?" She huffed and began walking around the room, finery in hand.

"What about that?" Tanya was trying to make up for her lack of initiative earlier, pointing out an ornate sword set crossed behind a small round shield hung between two tall windows. She smiled weakly, feeling useful for the first time the whole night. Erika grasped one of the handles firmly - wanting to upgrade her inadequate weapon. Smashing violently through the nearby window an icy hand gripped her arm tight and slammed her hard against the windowsill. Erika screamed like a banshee as One-Shot Jay thumbed off the safety and leveled the weapon at the attackers face, but before he could fire Erika had buried her ivory trinket into the fiend's skull, straight to the hilt. Erika stepped from the window and turned towards Jason - who still had his gun leveled at her head.

"Jay... hey, bud? Threat over, defcon done, put it down pal..." Erika was getting nervous as Jason seemed to stare through her. A deafening shot rang out and Erika dropped to the floor. She opened her eyes seeing only the floor, she felt no pain, was this what it was like to get shot? She turned her head as a second - dead - body slumped through the window. Jason put his weapon away. "Thanks.... I guess...." She stood slowly. "Well, can we put some heavy shit in front of the windows now?!" Tanya came over, careful to stay well clear of the windows, and helped Erika to pull the new toys from the wall before barricading the windows. The boys had begun shuffling a large oak desk towards the windows and the girls started over to help. Erika stopped short, and on a whim turned and wretched the ivory life saver from the decaying skull, pocketing it and returning to help.

Comrade Marx 06-10-2013 12:32 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
For the rest of the night, nothging else occured. Through the barracades beams of sunlight filled the room that was torn to pieces and the dead bodies layed in a pile the guys stacked infront of the door. Toby remebered seeing that work in the movie 300 and thought it might work. Tanya had sobered up quickly but exhastion had started to settle in. Jason started to get curious about the stuff in the box. They couldn't see much of the artifacts they found in the darkness of night. He went back to the box and looked inside.

He looked at the photograph it was of two men, one was a young man dressed in a white lab coat and the other wasa middle aged man in a military uniform that was not from their country. The bottom left hand corner had a date on it, "1955". The scientist in the photo was smiling looked like smart and happy person, but the man in the uniform looked like he had seen a lot of violence in his time. Jason took a closer look at the soldier's cap that he was where in the photo. He made out a faint grey star on the centre of the cap. Jason felt the presence of Tanya over his shoulder.

She pointed to the man in the uniform and said. "That guy is Russian, I can tell by the uniform that he was a commissar".

"How do you know that?" asked Jason

Toby spoke up from the door, "Because Tanya's grand dad was a Commie"

Tanya responded with her usual sense, "fuck off Toby"

Tanya put her hand in the box and pulled out the medal. It was had a side profile of a bald and bearded man with the hammer and sickle cross on top. And Tanya showed Jason the medal.

"See this is the Order of Lennin, It was only given to people in the Soviet Union until the collapse" Tanya pointed on the photo to the Russian commisar's chest and continued. "See the same medal is here on this guy, My guess is that it was his."

Toby spoke up again, "Very useful information there Tanya"

Jason gave an evil glare to Toby and barked, "FUCK OFF TOBY!"

Tanya put her hand back into the box and felt the bottom, she felt their was something off with the bottom and began to scratch the bottom of the box with her finger nails. She felt her nails catch on something on the bottom and dug at it. The bottom of the box peeled it back to find an old file. Tanya pulled out the file. it was also written in Russain. Tanya opened the file and began to read what she could.

Savage_Nature 06-10-2013 08:12 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
Jason watched Tanya as she read with stoic intensity, slowly her face drained of color until finally the folder sat limp in her hands and she drifted her gaze at Jason, mouth gaping. Tanya handed him the file, which he read, and passed on to the others who read the dossier in turn.

"So that creepy fucking scientist, Stein, was a soviet scientist?"

"Nooooo he was an astronaut" Tanya was always defusing things with her endless charm.

"Fuck off Tanya I'm sick of your shit! Can't you fucking stop being a nasty hoe for five minutes? You realize we could fucking DIE right?!" Erika had snapped. Jason put his hand on Erikas shoulder to stop her swinging her sword at her friend and Erika huffed. Lodging her weapon in the ground she walked off and tried to think happy thoughts.

Suddenly she remembered seeing something fly from the box, in all the commotion she had nearly forgotten. She kicked a ruined book to the side and moved some burned books away from her. She looked down at her ivory letter opener. She inspected it, turning it around and brought it up close to her face. Her mind was working on something. Working on fitting the pieces to the puzzle she created in her mind. She whispered aloud to herself. "That's not quite it..." She trailed off in thought and started looking toward the ground. There were too many burnt pieces of debris and books and blood. She wondered why she hadn't seen that until now. She kicked around more crap. She walked over to where she was sitting as she cared for her ankle. Her friends, at this point, started staring at her amused. Erika then dropped to her knees and started digging through the crap. Her hands and knees scrapped around on the ground. Curiosity got the best of her husband and just as he stepped forward to talk to his wife, Erika talked out loud to herself, "I found it."

Erika turned around to her friends with a smile on her as if she just found a gold needle in a haystack. Only this needle was a shiny silver ring with a shiny diamond, and the haystack was burned books, broken splinters and day old zombieguts.

The group marvelled over the beauty of the ring, after it made it's rounds Erika pocketed it. Jason rallied their attentions "This is some serious B movie horror shit. Scientist attempts to ressucitate dead soviet soldiers, fails, continues with his dream after the war, and creates those... zombies."

Toby interjected "Zombies, man, zombies. You know I played a game like this once, I think we'll be ok, just hit 'em in the head yeah? I mean, we have a gun when shit gets tight, two hot ass chicks with SWORDS man, and I have the standard wood axe. This couldn't have been written better. Wait.... did anyone get bit? Does that shit even work the same in real life?" Everyone checked each other over and determined that no one had any wounds, yet. "I'm hungry dude. We should bust our way out of here. At least the snow has stopped." Everyone gathered themselves and unbarricaded the door. Slowly the door creaked open. Toby jumped into the hall and turned in a flourish, ready for anything, nothing greeted him. "Well, time for brekky, let's roll 'Z' squad alpha."



"We are not calling ourselves 'Z squad alpha.'"

psychoDiablo 06-10-2013 09:43 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
Toby motioned with his head for Jason and the girls to pass by him. He muttered in a mimicking, displeased tone, "not calling you Z squad alpha, stupid bitch...."
Tanya asked Toby as they continued walking down the hall cautiously, "what's your fucking problem?"
Toby kept to himself. Jason stopped the group with a backhand fist in the air and Tanya had to remark, "you idiot, not all of us are in the fucking army."
Jason looked back at her with piercing eyes. He spoke to her slowly and assuredly, "then what the fuck do you think we should do?"

The group awaited her answer. She stood her ground there. She didn't have a thing to say now, and her silence was greeted with respect by her friends. That was the good thing about her. She was honest amid all the hardcore-chola nonsense and vulgarities. The group huddled together unsure of what to do now. Toby stood behind them, he was leaning on the axe with his head down, "I'm hungry..."

"Let's move to the kitchen..." Jason finished Toby's sentence.

"Z squad alpha, out...." Toby silently finished Jason's sentence. The group creeped down the hall. Snow hugged the windows tightly. They came up to a foyer. The stairs rounded downward below ground. Jason moved his eyes down every step of stairs and saw the ground. Then he saw a group of people standing there, with leaky faces. Then they saw him.

"Uhhh, you guys!" His voice was excited. His blood started pumping.

Erika was standing behind the group. She noticed something about the windows.

"You guys, I think the windows...They're breathing...." It didn't make sense to her either as she spoke the words. Then all of a sudden the windows exploded. Glass shards shot off all directions, scaring and scarring each member of alpha Z squad. All of them hit the ground, except Jason. The explosion was a start pistol to him. He started running down the stairs shooting the leaky bastards in their heads, one at a time.

The snow started piling in and filling up the hall way. Russian redcoats appeared at the windows, struggling to get inside, swaying their arms and growling with drool leaking out of their faces. A definite abomination. The group was in disarray and cut. Toby writhed in pain, gripping his calf. There was shrapnel inside the meat of his leg. There was no time to worry about that, though. He sat up and saw Tanya on her stomach, crawling toward him with tears in her eyes, and clutching her side abdomen. She looked back behind her to find her friend Erika. Erika laid there on her back with a 2 inch shard of glass sticking out of her forehead. She was still breathing as she was laying there bleeding out of her head. However, she had enough willpower to force her arm up so someone could grab her.

Comrade Marx 06-11-2013 07:50 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
Jason fired the pistol until he ran out of bullets. He discards the gun and grabs the sword and starts swinging like he was Bravehart in the Scottish highlands. The zombie/mutants came into the house and the survivors were being surrounded. Jason was cut off from the others, the hoard around him grew larger and moved in closer, they were too concentrated on him to not notice the others. Toby and Tanya dragged Erika away from the fighting and into the kitchen where the back door was unlocked. Toby looks back to see Jason's arms and the sword continuing to lop of the heads of the dead.




Toby was hesitant, but he listened to Jason and ran to the kitchen where Erika was on her feet but still in bad shape. They could still here Jason yelling and killing the hoard.

"Toby where's Jason" Demanded Tanya

"He's going to hold them off so we can get out" answered Toby

Tanya was shocked but understood what was going on. the group go outside to the early morning sun and ran into the thick snow. But because of the late night events, all of the injuries, and the snow the group was not making much progress. As they ran into the woods they found themselves surrounded, the hoard moved in closer. The group fell to their knees and huddled in the snow and accepted their fate. As the hoard came closer and closer to the point they felt their hands barely touch them as they heard what sounded like a thousand fire crackers go off. the loud noise echoed in the woods. The trio open their eyes and leit their heads and see the hoard lying in the snow dead. The group looks around and see nothing. All of a sudden they hear the snow crunch under someone's footsteps. An old man was walking toward them. He had silver hair and grey stubble facial hair. He wore glasses and a black trench coat. In his left had he carried a PPSH 41 and in the other a bottle of vodka.

The mysterious figure walked up to one of the dead specimans that was the closesed to the trio. The stranger looked down at the body and poked the side of it's head with his gun and took a drink from his half empty bottle. He let out a grunt and spoke in a thick Russian accent.

"Otvratitel'nyye sushchestva" (Disgusting creatures)

Savage_Nature 06-11-2013 11:05 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
Tanya was elated and terrified at the same time, "You! You're the man from the photo!"

"Demitri Cherkisov at your service my friends." The older man was suave despite the nearly empty bottle held in his hand. Deftly the automatic weapon was cradled in his arm as he extended a hand in greeting, he gripped Toby's wrist, who did the same to the man, and gave it a solid shake. Before the group could utter another word a huge crash sounded in the distance.

"Jason! WE HAVE TO GET JASON!" Erika was hysterical, she ripped the glass from her forhead and a gush of blood ran down her cheek, she began tearing back through her tracks, the group right behind her.

"Vwell, vwhy not have some fun, yeah? Haha! Come my old friend we fight again!" He patted the submachine gun lovingly before sloshing the last of his vodka and pitching the empty bottle at a dead corpse. The vodka was warm in his throat, the guns steel sharp in his hands from the cold. "Is just like I remeber, only now, they don't shoot back! Ahah!" Demitri took off at a brisk pace after the group of wanton children he had just saved. The forest broke suddenly and the scene unfolding before him left him with a bitter taste in his mouth, he spit, not needing to turn off the safety he began firing controlled bursts. A large mass was forcing its way through the front door, and most of the ground floor windows - he just caught the flash of what he believed to be the leg of one of the children climbing into a window, into the hell that was inside. Gunfire echoed through the trees and Dimitri could feel the familiar thudthudthud in his eardrums as controlled bursts downed first one, then another, then another. Some of the larger mass mulling around the front of the house detached at the sound and began creeping towards him. Lowering the gun, he reached into his jacket and pulled out what would appear to most to be an ugly marracca. Priming the explosive he lobbed it into the thickest part of the horde and a deafening explosion sent body parts and shrapnel flying in all directs. "Take that you motherless sons of dogs! Ahahahaha!" Demitri, satisfied at the carnage, artfully made his way through the snow to the back of the house, taking down all in his path and pulling another drum mag from the satchel hidden under his trenchcoat. A steady stream of zombies followed slowly behind him.

Jason gasped for air, every fiber in his body burned, his adrenaline had gone a long time ago, but he had been prepared for that, this was not his first combat. He nearly fell over backwards up the stairs as another undead grasped for his ankle, he hacked off the hand and the other arm began to reach for him. That was one thing he had not been prepared for, or gotten used to, this enemy felt no pain, had no fear, they were relentless, it was everything he could do to keep them at bay. He was a macabre sight, covered in gore, like some kind of hell delivered death dealer. If he had been bit he hadn't noticed, nor would you be able to tell with the fresh coating of blood and guts. He took the rest of the steps in bound, desperate to give himself a breath in preperation for the coming tide when suddenly loud pops sounded outside the house, followed by a large explosion, he had no time to think about this as he took the head clean off the first in line, and put a full force kick into the still grasping body, sending it back into the rest and slowing them more. He heard a voice downstairs calling to him, how he longed to see the face to that voice, and yet how he wished that voice was something he hadn't heard. Glancing down onto the landing all he could see was a press of bodies milling to reach the stairs. For now at least, he had their attention.

"Jason!!! JASON!!!" Erika and the friends had been lucky enough to encounter light resistance, easily dispatching most of the zombies. As they rounded a corner they almost ran right into Demitri "Haha! You vwill not lose me so easy friends! This is like old times, too much fun for a man like me. Come! Let us get your Jason! Follow me!" Demitri turned on his heel and blew the brain matter of the fiend about to tear his throat out across the wall before taking proceeding at a brisk pace, humming some tune none of the friends coudl recognize. Demitri led them to a back door and went outside "There is a ladder" answering Erika's protest before she could voice it.

Jason panted, hacking off an arm, and then taking off a jaw with the backhanded sweep. The sword worked well against the undead, it was sharp, fine quality, most likely from a true forge, an old masterwork wrought before the rise of civilized society. He quitely mouthed a thanks to the savagery of man as another limb bounced off the wall. "Is that all you got?! You fucking pieces of shit!" Another head hit the floor, yet still more fell in behind to replace the fallen. "COME ON YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!" He glanced backwards as another body went limp, he had used all of the hallway and had two closed doors on either side, he had time to pick one, and he barrelled through slamming it behind him. He chanced dashing across the room and grabbing a small wooden chair to brace against the door. If nothing it would buy him a minute. Eyeing the room with a skilled eye he quickly saw that nothing would be of use, looking out the window to his side he saw a fall would break his leg most likely, and he didn't plan on going out crawling away from the enemy, not after the things he had faced, the trials he had been through, there was no honor in that. Jason calmed himself, preparing for the last moments of his life. The door shook on its hinges as more and more bodies pressed against it. Thank god for that chair. He wiped his hands on his pants and reasserted his grip on the weapon. The door splintered and then caved, the chair toppling to the side.

Everyone followed Dimitri up the ladder to a second story window. Dimitri eyed the scene through the window, a small room with boxes and a few chairs, a table stacked on top of the boxes was covered in dust. The corner across the room was much more interesting, a young boy swung a blade and cleaved abomination after abomination as they tried to press into the room, he gave no ground, and Dimitri was almost impressed, this must be Jason he thought, I would like to have a drink with this boy. He waited no longer, smashed the window and rolled into the room, landing on the floor in a crouch he pressed the butt of his gun to the crook of his shoulder and took careful aim dropping the next creature in line.

Jason heard the glass somewhere behind him break, he didn't stop to think how impossible it was for the zombies to reach the second floor, and instead accepted his coming doom focusing instead on the press in front of him. Suddenly there was a loud raport in the room and bodies began to fall in front of him, he was stunned for a split second before realizing he had been saved. He backed from the door and let the automatic weapon breathe fire into the horde - never turning his back.

(Ahahaha sorry guys this is a long one, Demitri is wayyyyyy too fun to write about!!)

Comrade Marx 06-13-2013 11:28 AM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
Demitri fired his PPSH and the bodies fell like dominos. Jason started to black out and all he could see was a blur of his mysterious saviour. Eventually the hoard was no more. Demitri lowered his smoking SMG and pulled out a carton of cigerettes. He pulled one out and lighted it, and took a deep inhale. Toby come running up thei stairs with the girls and he was shocked to see the carnage left by the unknown Russian. Dimitri looks up to see Toby and lets out an exhale of tobbacco smoke.

"You grab Rambo and follow me" Demitri said with a clam tone.

Demitri lead the group to to a small cabin a few miles away from the zombie battlefield. Demitri opened the door and showed toby to a room where he put layed Jason down on the bed. Erika tends to her wounds and Jason. Toby and Tanya were sitting close to a fire place trying to keep warm as the orange glow from the sunset filled the room. Demetri walks over to Toby and Tanya with another bottle of vodka, he takes a drink and hands the bottle to Tanya, who was more then willing to accept .

"Thank you so much for helping us" Tanya says with a faint smile.

"Eto nichego ne bylo" (It was nothing) responded Demitri

"What is going on? Who are you? Do you know Dr. Stein and Jimmy John? What..." Toby spoke frantically and started to jumble his words together.

Demitri looked at Tanya and asked, "Does he always sound like scared woman?"

Tanya responded with a gigle and said, "Well that will be a long story, but he is right we do have more important things to talk about"

"The Demons that came from the night, You all walked into a nightmare that started for me since the end of the of World War II." Demitri started to speak with seriousness and conviction.

"I was only 20 years old and a Commissar with the 235th company of the People's Commissariat for Internal Affairs, or as most people remember us as the NKVD until 1954 when we we reorganized in the the KGB. I was leading a squad of conscrpits on a partol to a small Nazi facility outside of Berlin the day after the war in Europe ended. As my squard appraoched this abandonded facility, we got ambushed by the SS. Me and Sasha killed many of the bastards. After the firefight it was just me and three of the conscripts were left alive. As we approached this huge Nazi building... we... we didn't know what horrors we waiting for us when we got inside"

psychoDiablo 06-16-2013 05:41 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
"Enough of this sad story shit! What the fuck are you doing here?!"

Everyone turned around to see Jason standing in the hallway, pointing his pistol at Demitri. He was crazy eyed and not ready to ask many questions. His shirt was soaked in blood. He stared at the Commissar. The Commissar stared back. There was a tense moment of time where everyone paused and didn't breathe. Jason's eyes were wide open staring down the barrel of his handgun. He was going to shoot the russian bastard. Then Demitri winked at Jason. It confused Jason enough that Demitri was able to side step to the right, grab his gun and aim. Demitri let off a burst of rounds. Jason was late to react. He shot his gun as Demitri moved, but he missed. Jason dropped to the floor narrowly avoiding Demitri's bullets, except the last one pierced right through the top off his ear. Demitri laughed and brought his gun up to his eyes. He was staring down his barrel when all of a sudden a glass bottle came crashing down over Demitri's skull. He went limp and collapsed to the ground. Jason was in pain holding his right ear, but he was alive. He stared at Demitri, who was nothing more than a heap of overcoats now, his eyes were closed. Jason looked up at Tanya standing beside Demitri's body, holding a broken bottle in her hand. She had a mean face.

"Quite frankly, that vodka tasted like shit."

Savage_Nature 06-23-2013 01:33 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
"What the fuck you two?!" Erika was frantic as she surveyed the scene. Demitri lay in a heap on the floor and Jason was clenching his handgun, hand shaking, and blood pouring from his ear. Toby was just staring dumb struck at the scene and Tanya lobbed the broken bottle into the corner of the shack with a crash. "You just fucking knocked out the guy who saved Jason! And Jason! What the fuck?! Who the fuck, why the fuck, FUCK!" Erika wasn't normally one for vulgarity so you can imagine her distress.

"Let's go." Jason walked over to the door and motioned for them to leave. Not knowing what else to do, the group just followed him.

They trudged for what could have been forever through the knee deep snow, no russians, no scientists, no zombie things, just silence, and biting cold. Truth be told no one knew where they were going. Erika broke the looming silence "OK, so do we get an explaination as to why you freaked out on the guy who saved our asses, AND yours if I may add?"

"He was a twat."


"Can't win them all." Jason went to stroke the 1911 which was holstered in his belt but felt nothing - he turned and felt the cold steel against his forehead.

"Comrade! How good that we meet again. Make no sudden moves or I will shoot you. If your friends make a sudden move, I will shoot you, if you speak - I will shoot you! Haha! You see? Do what I ask of you now, take your shirt off." Jason motioned with his lips as if he was about to speak but the click of the hammer on the 1911 squared against his face stopped him. He obediently began to remove his shirt. "Hmmm, do a turn now boy, all the way around, slowly."

"What the fuck man?! Are you gay?!" The russian ignored Toby and spoke directly to Jason "Now comrade, turn, there is eaters of flesh coming, they will be here, very soon." Jason obliged him by turning in a complete circle. "OK, one more thing, the pants, take them off."

"Hey fuck you man I--" Jason was cut short as the tree directly beside him exploded and splinters lodged in the side of his face. Demitri pointed the gun back to Jasons face, he turned his eyes to the ground and took his pants off. On the calf of his right leg there was a bite mark that had broken skin and looked as though it may be infected. Jason fell to the ground, limp, as the snow behind him misted a red color. Erika stood stunned, Tanya screamed, Toby fell to his knees, Demitri lit a cigarette. "You're friend has been done a great service, the alternatives are not very pretty you see. Now,"-Demitri took at long drag and exhaled as he spoke-"You may follow me, or not, the choice is yours, but I will not give you this gun, as I know what will come of it." With that, Demitri turned and began walking through the snow.

"He just... he killed Jason." Toby was still on his knees. He watched red gore spill in a steady stream from his now dead friends opened skull.

"Be lucky I knew the girl to be bitch or I would have shot her also. The anger, it comes before the change." Demitri offered over his shoulder as he trudged forward. "The biters, they come for you children, ahahahaha!"

Comrade Marx 06-23-2013 10:43 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
Demitri turned his back to the group and started to walk back to his cabin. The group looked at each other stunned. After a few moments the felt like an eternity, Toby got up and started to follow Demitri then a reluctant Tanya and Erika followed suit back to the small cabin they ran away from earlier. Demitri stood by his door and let the group in, but he was on his guard this time and stayed far enough from the group not to get blindsided again. An awkward silence befell the group, but then Erika’s curiosity got the best of her.

“So, what were you going to talk about, you said this was going on for a long time?”

“Da, before I was hit in the head by a coward, I was telling the origins of these things” responded Demitri
“What happened? You said something about a bunker in Berlin?” Erika asked

“Da, the bunker was garrisoned by the 4th SS Paranormal Research Battalion, The were fools that thought they were warlocks, witches, sorcerers, sorceresses, and necromancers looking for fairy tale creatures to help them win the war and build what they called the Ubersoldat.”

“So what happened?” Erika was starting to become more interested in what Demitri had to say

“Back in 1940 they sent a small task force to Scotland and found something called the stone of eternal life, some mystical rock that apparently the son of god used to heal the sick and raise the dead. But as the Nazis were about to leave they got ambushed by the British and the stone was broken into 5 pieces. And because the stone was broken, it no longer worked. The Nazi occultists fixed the stone and repaired it so they could not only resurrect their fallen but also make the living next to invincible as a part of their Ubersoldat project. However they used dark magic on this stone and the consequences as you can see have been more then horrible.”

psychoDiablo 06-24-2013 01:09 AM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
Tanya sat apart from Toby, but he didn't notice it. She sat and listened to Demitri's story and hated every bit of it. In fact, she hated every word that came out of his mouth. Her thoughts were dark as she looked at him silently. He rambled on about super soldier this, and another experiment gone wrong that, she looked away from him towards the wall and saw a piece of broken glass.

Suddenly, Erika grabbed her head with both hands and let out a quiet whimper and her muscles stiffened, straightening out her body. She fell back to the floor. Toby stood in front her looking down, then he looked at Demitri.

"She had that huge gash in her head! Oh, my god, we never healed her!" Toby yelled, looking at Erika, seeing the cut in her head from where the glass shard used to be. "Fuck, can you help her!?" Toby looked up at Demitri, who felt reluctantly obliged to help the girl. He paused, looked at his gun, then down at the girl. Toby said, "She wasn't bitten, it was glass, man." Toby had the puppy dog eyes that have seen the master put down his own. Demitri walked over to Erika.

Tanya grabbed the piece of glass, walked over to Demitri, who was walking toward Erika. She crept into his blind spot, clenching the glass and cutting her own palm. She moved faster the closer he got to Erika. She lay motionless on the ground with Toby speechless next to her. Demitri stood before her looking down and Tanya closed in, leaping and stabbing Demitri in the back of his neck. He dropped his gun and grabbed for his neck. Tanya pulled out her stabbing tool and aimed for the front of his neck. She stabbed away, blood squirting out on her arms. Demitri fell and she stood there, clenching the glass, nearly cutting her own hand off. She dropped the glass and looked at Toby. She was so happy to see him. He looked at her and was screaming.

"Tanya!" "Tanya!"

Then Tanya came back to reality. Toby was yelling her name at her. Erika was on the ground, but Demitri was no where to be seen. Tanya ignored the glass and ran over to Erika.

Savage_Nature 06-25-2013 08:56 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
Trakhal shlyukha!” Demitri cursed as blood poured between his clenched fingers. “Suka sobaki! These ungrateful ‘kapitalisticheskiy’” He splashed vodka onto the open wound as he said the last word. The pain from the wound was intense, it gave him focus. A gnarled hand crawled into his trenchcoat and he produced his lighter, striking it smartly he took a deep drag of tobacco. Demitri bound his wound tightly and cursed once more, he had not expected the bitch to attack him, he would not make the same mistake again. Exhaling a mist of smoke he turned on his heel and entered his storage shed. To the left lie crates of good Russian vodka, not like the American pisswater he had been forced to drink when he first landed in this cursed spit of land. To his right lay a workbench, there were drrp grooves worn from constant use. Hanging above the bench was his mosin nagant, he admired the wood finish, many men had fallen to this rifle – and more of the abominations yet. Exhaling another puff he pulled himself from his reverie as the sharp ache in his neck reminded him of the situation at hand. Unholstering the 1911 Demitri dropped the slide onto the bench. After tinkering with the internals he replaced the slide. He hoped the bitch would find it. Opening a drawer he found his tokarev and holstered it. Then his eyes drifted upwards to the rifle, extending his arms as if in reverie to some unknown God the scoped gun was taken from the wall mounts and .3 calibre 7.62mm rounds were added to his arsenal from the still open drawer. Snow crunched sluggishly underfoot and Demitri turned - shouldering his rifle, a loud bang reverberated through the trees and a zombie fell to the ground outside the shed. This was good, the smell of blood and death would draw more of them.

Erika groaned and placed her hands on her knees, she tried to stand but could not. Toby was concerned, “Fuck Tanya... I don’t know how to clean a wound, do you?” Tanya frowned, Toby took this to be a no. “OK… I’m going to go get some snow and we can make water out of it, if nothing else that should help a bit, while I’m out there I’ll see if there is anything of use.” Toby began to feel pride well up inside of him, he would take charge now. No more harm would fall on his friends so long as he remained, this was his vow. Toby slowly exited the cabin, watching for zombies and the Russian. He made a circle around the cabin and found a trail of blood leading into the trees, it looked as though a small shed was in the distance. Toby muttered “Zombie team alpha… go.” Then shook his head at the stupidity of it, how could he joke with what had transpired? He kept a low profile and crept up on the shed to investigate.

Tanya was comforting Erika as best she could when she heard the crack of a rifle, she thought of Toby - hopefully he was alright. Tanya had found some linens and set them to the side for when the water arrived, IF the water arrived. Frowning she was close to tears, but held it together for Erika. Suddenly snow crunched outside the cabin door and she reached for the bloodied glass shard, but before she could grasp it Toby came through the door with a bucket, and the 1911 gripped in his other hand. The Russian had left them a weapon? Big mistake. Tanya let a grin creep onto her face for what felt like the first time in a long time. They went to work on Erika hurriedly, expecting trouble at any moment.

It seemed like very little time had passed in the hurry to help Erika. Outside the friends could hear approaching steps, many, MANY steps. This could mean only one thing. Toby adopted the role of leader and ordered the girls up, their grace time had finally expired. Toby cautiously inched open the door, seeing a herd of putrid flesh walking towards the shack he made a snap judgement that they could outdistance them. “Let’s go, double time you two – Tanya help Erika.” Tanya already had Erika’s arm over her shoulder and they were moving towards the door. It was a struggle, knee deep snow hindered them, but they managed to stay out of reach of the shambling hordes. There must have been a hundred of them. Toby jumped as a shot reverberated through the trees, Tanya screamed and fell to the ground. “FUCK! FUCK YOU PRICK!” Toby pulled the 1911 from his belt in a flourish and started aiming around, unsure where the shot had come from. Then he spotted it, there was a tree stand to the front and the Russian was sitting in it with a camo net on, smoking and drinking vodka. Toby leveled the pistol at the Russian, he paused - why wasn’t Demitri trying to gun him down? He couldn't be sure, but he took the shot. Suddenly Toby felt funny, he was confused, what had happened? He looked to Tanya, laying on the ground, blood pooled around her knee. Then he looked to his outstretched arm, half a gun was in his hand, where had the other half gone? Just then things began to darken, Toby cried out in his head, how could he protect his friends? He couldn’t pass out now… where was this darkness coming from? He felt tired, and heavy. Toby fell to his knees, and then lay prone in the snow. He could see Tanya clutching her knee and yelling something at him, but he couldn’t hear her. The last thing Toby saw was blood soaking into the snow in front of him and then, everything went black.

What had they done to deserve all this? Why had they ever agreed to come here? Toby was laying on the ground, glassy eyes gaping directly at the two girls. The slide from the handgun was embedded in his forehead there was a pool of blood growing larger and larger around his limp body. “Erika… you have to go… I, I can’t walk.” Tanya let a small smile play across her lips when Erika just stared at her dumbly. “Go.” Erika looked to Tanya, the last time she would ever see her friend. Then she looked to the tree stand, the Russian sat patiently, he seemed to have no intention of killing her, he sloshed some vodka into his mouth. One last time she looked, this time behind her, to the oncoming zombies. Erika rose to her feet and ran. Erika ran, sobbing as she went, she ran until she couldn’t feel her legs, from exertion or cold she wasn’t sure. Blindly she weaved through the trees, she could hear the occasional pop of a rifle through the brush. She dared not think what had become of her friend, she couldn’t stand the thought. Finally Erika collapsed, still bawling her eyes out, when she finally looked up and found a paved road in front of her.

Tanya crawled, she crawled with everything she had. She couldn’t outpace the flesh eating freaks closing on her. She decided this sicko wouldn't get the satisfaction of her surrender. A zombie fell on her, mouth inches from her face, she jammed her thumbs into its eyes, as far as she could get them, it stopped clicking its jaw at her. More were coming. She had a flash of inspiration and pulled the fancy letter opener from her belt, two more died as she deftly embedded it into their skulls in turn. A creature went for her throat, this was it, she closed her eyes. A loud bang sounded, and she felt deadweight on top of her. A voice drifted from the stand “It will not be so quick friend! You will regret attacking Demitri I think, yeah? Hahaha.” She felt red rage consume her, the russian coward was toying with her. Teeth closed on her leg and she screamed in pain, she kicked so hard she broke the neck of the offender. Tanya fought for all she was worth, kicking when they went for her legs, punching, flailing, and using the letter opener to devestating effect. She was losing, there was more of them than there was energy and fight in her, she knew this, and it was a deadweight on her very soul. She looked to where Toby had been, his death had delayed some of the attackers, she saw with abject horror that half of his face was missing, a mocking half-skull grimaced at her. Zombies were gathered around what was left of his opened chest. He had been lucky to die so fast, she felt more flesh being torn from her body. Anytime it seemed one might get the best of her another shot rang out, and the deathblow did not come. She fought on, covered in blood, scraps of her own flesh hanging from her body. The forearms and legs had the worst of the damage, but her midsection wasn't faring well either, she was sure one had taken a big enough chunk out of her side that a fist would fit into her. She was dragging herself backwards through the snow while sinking the letter opener into skull after skull with a dull thunk and a sick sucking sound as it was ripped free, a zombie fell onto her legs and began gnawing on bone, the pain was unbearable, she reacted by sinking the only weapon she had into it's head. Finally the letter opener snapped off at the handle, she screamed in frustration, flailing her fists at the endless wave of assailants.

Demitri watched the girl. His wound would heal. She would not survive this. He had toyed with her for going on ten minutes now, it must have felt like eternity for her. She was covered in bites, a red trail had been drug through the snow where she had fallen back, growing darker as she got farther. Parts of her flesh had been torn away and you could see bone in some spots. She wasn't fighting anymore, there was only a blood curling scream ripping repeatedly through the crisp air like some demented siren. He was impressed, she had put up a good fight, as fruitless as it was, she would have done better to just let them eat her alive, it would have been quicker for her. “Is good, is good, she is fighter, yet… is not good enough.” Demitri thought on this a moment as he finished another cigarette and let it fall from the stand. The girl did not move anymore, the screaming had ceased, the biters ate contently, a small horde had finished with the boy and moved towards the girl. Demitri let them group tightly around her and tossed one of his stick grenades into the feasting mob. A red mist coated a 10 foot radius after a gutteral "whump". Turning his attention, he could feel the cold creeping into his toes, he sampled more of his vodka. Perhaps he would stay here awhile, more may yet come, and he had many rounds left to spend.

psychoDiablo 08-27-2013 10:32 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
*******NEW STORY

Some kids thought it would be cool to block off the alley at night. They had their modified cars parked alongside each other. One other motorist in a beat up 93 camry with his windows down and factory-bought stereo blasting music came rolling down to the gang of cars, unaware of the entire scene around and within this alley, at this exact night.
"What the fuck is this?" He said to himself outloud. Then noticed the homeboys standing and looking at him as if he's on the wrong side of the turf. They all beefed themselves up. A couple of the homeboys pulled out hypodermic needles and juiced themselves up. Most of the mob grew into a panic as the guy in the 93 camry with his windows down and music blasting, Crop, sat in his car wathcing the homeboys become berzerker men. Fortunately for Crop, he had stopped far away enough, that before the berzerkers could reach Crop and his crap car, they attacked and killed the leaders of the gang, the front line men. The berzerkers did such damage to themselves that they started smashing each other against the cars. They were so strong they moved the cars right out of the way. One even lifted the car above his head and smashed it down on two of the gang members. Their bodies were crushed as the men screamed and stopped screaming in unison when the car laid flat. The berzerker men became so enraged with their drugs they attacked their own kind until all the normal humans were dead, then they attacked each other. When one berzerker stood by himself, he was the champion. He beat his chest and jumped out of screen.

Crop sat in his car thinking and wondering to himself about his town.
"The fuck has happened to this city?"

Then his phone rang. It was the girl he was dating now for 2 weeks. He looked at the phone and wondered if he should answer it.

Comrade Marx 09-26-2013 05:00 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
All the characters realized that it was getting late, so everyone went home and lived happily ever after. No paranormal or out of the ordinary happened. They all pretty much lived pretty boring lives until they died. Crop ended up killing himself that very night out of pure bordem.


psychoDiablo 09-26-2013 09:45 PM

Re: Pass The Ghost Story
"Well no, not the end you idiot! If you see, Sir, you are very wrong, because, if you had true comprehension skills you would have read that the 'out-of-ordinary' did happen and you wouldn't have mentioned that it didn't happen, in light of feeling like a dumbass...." The man sternly looked at his friend. His friend looked up away from his laptop back at him. He smiled at his friend.

"What are you on about?"

"I'm just saying. Seriously. All you have to do is read. If you read just one fucking sentence, then why the fuck won't you read the rest? I mean, at least pay attention to it? You are," and he quoted, "finishing the paragraph."

"Hahaha! You my friend are one stupid--smart mother fucker. How do you think we became friends?"

"I'm not sure. Whatever the hell happened though, sure made it seem like it...." He trailed off. Then he just sat there and a waitress dropped by to say hello.

"What can I get the both you gentleman?" She smiled at each guy.

Both men looked at her and smiled back. Then they looked at each other and their grin grew even wider. They both looked back at the waitress, who felt the chill of freight in the air. Everyone in the diner felt it. The brothers started laughing out loud and they stood up at their booth, reached into their heavy coat pockets and unleashed, double-fisted, machine gun syrup dispensers. They did nothing but startle the waitress. Then she looked at them like they were both idiots. The brothers laughed and then sat down and everyone around them continued eating. What a bunch of dumbasses they were.

"I'll have pancakes, eggs, bacon, and some biscuits n gravy. Thanks."

The waitress scribbled something down on her notepad. Then looked at the two fellers with disgust.

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