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psychoDiablo 09-20-2014 04:51 AM

what about
 
How do you guys feel about your ex's? X gf or x bf, however it goes - Do u still talk to them?

It's weird if you do. So I say

Jenn and tonic 09-20-2014 01:39 PM

Re: what about
 
I don't. Even if the breakup wasn't hateful, I usually go no contact; it makes moving on easier and less complicated.

I've just never been able to be the type of person that can recategorize someone from "boyfriend" to "friend."

Jabedin 09-20-2014 05:27 PM

Re: what about
 
I'm like a word document without the save file function

psychoDiablo 09-21-2014 03:07 AM

Re: what about
 
lol

ya. one of my x's hit me up after 2 years. just saying high n shit. i said hi back and she was talking to me alot. but that all died as fast as it came around. it was just recently that i deleted her ass. i was like, wtf ? she's a bitch and why we broke up. why are we talking like shits cool? We can't be friends. Weird right? ugghhh lol

Kortenie 09-21-2014 03:47 PM

Re: what about
 
I have one as a best friend, a couple of acquaintances, and a couple others I couldn't care less what they were up to in life.

psychoDiablo 09-21-2014 05:01 PM

Re: what about
 
Hmm, a best friend? Not sure how to get one of those.

Bamcubz 09-21-2014 09:14 PM

Re: what about
 
No to the ex-husband, just pisses me off and reminds me why I divorsed his stupid ass in the first place.

Zanahoria_Picante 09-22-2014 12:49 AM

Re: what about
 
I technically don't have any ex's as I've never technically had a boyfriend.

This fact does not make me sad.

Kortenie 09-22-2014 12:41 PM

Re: what about
 
Well we were really good friends to start off and then we dated and once things ended and we adjusted, we were right back to being best friends.

psychoDiablo 09-22-2014 08:21 PM

Re: what about
 
Quote:

Originally Said by Zanahoria_Picante (Post 382371)
I technically don't have any ex's as I've never technically had a boyfriend.

This fact does not make me sad.

How many girlfriends have you had? lol

Zanahoria_Picante 09-23-2014 02:33 AM

Re: what about
 
Quote:

Originally Said by psychoDiablo (Post 382373)
How many girlfriends have you had? lol

None.

And to answer any of your other questions of this kind: No.

psychoDiablo 09-23-2014 08:36 PM

Re: what about
 
lol dork.

What about the boy that you really liked? Treat him as an ex now. You still talk to em?

Zanahoria_Picante 09-24-2014 06:15 AM

Re: what about
 
Quote:

Originally Said by psychoDiablo (Post 382385)
lol dork.

What about the boy that you really liked? Treat him as an ex now. You still talk to em?

I did talk with him for quite a while until he stopped talking to me (please let's not share any more specific details than that :smile:). I have no intention of talking to him again.

I really have no desire to have a relationship like that anymore. At all. I wish I had never wasted my time thinking about having one, even in one instance--as, in reality, every part of me and my personality conflicts with that social situation. This is exemplified by my continual, passionate avoidance of anyone who has attempted to pursue me throughout my life and by my intense aversion to the roles women are meant to play in society and by my disgust at how society (especially men) views and portrays women. All I really feel about the idea of these kind of relationships now is hostility and disgust and a confident realization and acceptance that it is incongruous for me to be in such a relationship. I am 100% content in being single for the rest of my life and in my current circumstances and I say that without reserve or regret. I just wish I would've realized this sooner; that's my only regret.

So... in my sparse, contentious non-relationships, I pretty much avoided those who pursued me with everything I had, which definitely meant I did not talk to them unless I had no choice (in some cases when they would confront me, which was actually almost every time I had an experience like that). This has become my normal reaction to these situations, avoidance, ideally ending with me being left alone. So, I guess it's safe to say, though I have never had a bona fide relationship, all of these situations eventually ended with "no talking."

psychoDiablo 09-24-2014 09:45 PM

Re: what about
 
Damn fool. Sorry I even asked... Nah, I'm not sorry...

I can feel you on the whole single for life thing. I think I'll probably be single forever, too, but really... how much life do you have left? You're what, thirty? You could very well live another seventy years! I figure you're bound to meet someone soon. Just count down the days essentially, sort of, but not really. Don't count, 1, 2, 3...5,000 days and nothing yet. Lol don't be a fool.
For me, you always talk about hope n faith n shit. I suppose mines different than yours. I'd like to think I'd meet a nice girl and have a good stint with her. I feel like I've been skipped up. Heh, you think I look good now, you should have seen me when I was younger. And I was single then too. What the fuck?

Ima keep talking, I would like for you to meet some fool who likes you and makes you smile and you make smile for no reason at all. Simply because. I think it would be nice.

I look at some of my friends and no, I do not want their relationship. All they do is yell at each other over stupid shit whenever I'm there. Makes me uncomfortable. But whatever. Most of my shits have ended up in "no talking" as well, and I'm okay with that. Of course, I wish something more could have happened between us. And more meaning, something worth remembering her fucking name. Remember all those poems I had wrote for women over the fucking years...Got me nowhere... But I still keep on writing.

Well thanks for letting me talk n drink right now, lol, i gotta piss

notlob 09-26-2014 03:45 AM

Re: what about
 
No matter how bad it ended, I stayed friends with all of my exes, we still talk a lot for the most part.

Nothing wrong with it in my eyes...

EmperorChaos 09-26-2014 11:35 AM

Re: what about
 
I don't really consider anyone I've dated as an "ex" either.

I mean, it doesn't count if you date them for a month or less, right?

I usually get dropped as soon as the girl realizes I'm not going to have sexual relations with her.

Quote:

Originally Said by Zanahoria_Picante (Post 382371)
I technically don't have any ex's as I've never technically had a boyfriend.

This fact does not make me sad.


ASEXUALS UNITE!

notlob 09-27-2014 02:13 AM

Re: what about
 
Quote:

Originally Said by EmperorChaos (Post 382391)
ASEXUALS UNITE!

Contradiction in terms?

psychoDiablo 09-30-2014 08:47 PM

Re: what about
 
Quote:

Originally Said by notlob (Post 382395)
Contradiction in terms?

Not if it's online. lol ec is pretty much online. Until he walks outside declaring asexuals unite.

EmperorChaos 10-03-2014 12:01 PM

Re: what about
 
Quote:

Originally Said by notlob (Post 382395)
Contradiction in terms?

"Asexuals Unite!" isn't contradictory, imo.... or wait, does the United Way mean something totally different?

Now, "Asexuals Fornicate!" is off-putting and probably wouldn't happen amongst asexuals.

"Asexuals Conjugate!" wouldn't be appropriate unless you're talking about verbs.

"Asexuals Procreate!" would be acceptable between two asexuals who feel the greater goal of producing offspring, but they could also achieve this through technological means (although it'd be costlier, I suppose) but I don't think that would work in a group setting.

-=-=-=-

I said that to ZP because I think she might be an asexual too. I have only met asexuals online although probability would dictate that I've met other asexuals IRL. We're the other 1%, if you go by some statistics. That means 1 out of 100 people are "Aces". I think the number might even be higher. We live in an oversexualized world. I'm sure many people who don't experience sexual attraction feel pressure, and that pressure leads to sexual activities.

That being said, I haven't gone around looking for asexuals in person. I've only "outed" myself to a handful of people. Close friends and some family. I've shared things on Facebook about asexuality but I've never directly identified myself to the masses like that.

I might finally do that. The last week of October (Oct 26-Nov 1) is Asexual Awareness Week. Last year I shared some stuff. This year I might share something a bit more personal with my Facebook friends and family.

Quote:

Originally Said by psychoDiablo (Post 382398)
Not if it's online. lol ec is pretty much online. Until he walks outside declaring asexuals unite.

I hope to one day exist only online.

But that's another matter entirely.

psychoDiablo 10-03-2014 02:55 PM

Re: what about
 
But don't we all exist only online?

We would not exist in each other's lives because we haven't met each other.

You could all be nepome5's living at the bottom of the sea.

Zanahoria_Picante 10-06-2014 04:54 AM

Re: what about
 
Quote:

Originally Said by psychoDiablo (Post 382387)
Damn fool. Sorry I even asked... Nah, I'm not sorry...

I can feel you on the whole single for life thing. I think I'll probably be single forever, too, but really... how much life do you have left? You're what, thirty? You could very well live another seventy years! I figure you're bound to meet someone soon. Just count down the days essentially, sort of, but not really. Don't count, 1, 2, 3...5,000 days and nothing yet. Lol don't be a fool.
For me, you always talk about hope n faith n shit. I suppose mines different than yours. I'd like to think I'd meet a nice girl and have a good stint with her. I feel like I've been skipped up. Heh, you think I look good now, you should have seen me when I was younger. And I was single then too. What the fuck?

Ima keep talking, I would like for you to meet some fool who likes you and makes you smile and you make smile for no reason at all. Simply because. I think it would be nice.

I look at some of my friends and no, I do not want their relationship. All they do is yell at each other over stupid shit whenever I'm there. Makes me uncomfortable. But whatever. Most of my shits have ended up in "no talking" as well, and I'm okay with that. Of course, I wish something more could have happened between us. And more meaning, something worth remembering her fucking name. Remember all those poems I had wrote for women over the fucking years...Got me nowhere... But I still keep on writing.

Well thanks for letting me talk n drink right now, lol, i gotta piss

There really is no place in my life for that kind of relationship--in any sense. That one situation (again, please don't say any details about that) was the only time I really thought of anyone that way and it turned out to be a huge mistake, a huge disappointment, as I also lost a friend in the process, and that situation actually managed to increase my aversion to the idea of those kind of relationships (until then, I avoided those situations with fervor). My only experiences with these kind of relationships have been catastrophic and offputting in one way or another--in that one case of pursuing and in the multiple cases of being pursued (as I only pursued someone once, being pursued is the only option, which is the only reason it happens with relative frequency; because I don't want a relationship, I am "approached" more than is typical; if you don't want something to happen, it seems to happen more). For me, the idea of romantic relationships has been more of a hindrance than anything else; a distraction from what is really important to me.

So, I see what you're saying. Your thoughts are kind and thank you for them. As bitter as my previous post sounded, I really am quite content now--even delighted--with the idea of not having that kind of relationship. Again, there is no place for that kind of relationship in my life and if I am really honest with myself, that relational mold fails to fit me, anyway. I love some of the depictions of romantic love in poetry and literature (see: Pablo Neruda, Shakespeare, Robert Frost, Charles Dickens, Charlotte Brontë, Jane Austen, Poe, countless others)--and I appreciate that those kind of real relationships are normal, even good, for a lot of people--but not for me. I just can't imagine, in reality, needing or wanting someone like that, or my life revolving around someone in that way in a practical sense, because it doesn't suit me. This might mean that, technically, I am not a member of society, possibly the human race, but that might be for the best.

From a Christian standpoint, I feel this perspective, for the most part, is justified, as Paul talks about how it is okay to remain single, just as it is okay to marry, in 1 Corinthians 7:26-28. The rest of that chapter is interesting and useful, but those two verses pertain to this subject for me.

So, "in short," maybe relationships aren't for everyone. Maybe it's harder for some people, maybe for you, to get into the right relationship or to find the right person to suit them. The odds are against you, as they are against everyone, especially if you are romantic, your expectations might be... unrealistic. (In the one case that I really liked a guy like that, that was part of my undoing.) As lovely as your poetry is--and this is going to sound harsh--most people don't appreciate it because they're too busy watching "the" MTV or surfing the YouTubes or looking at pictures of themselves on their phones (which is definitely the "new" existential) to connect to that sort of antiquated, romantic gesture--for the record, that last part was sarcasm. This is not to say this is true of everyone, but it is true of quite a few people, if we're being honest. Either way, from your perspective, perhaps, the more relaxed and content you are with yourself and your situation, the better; it's better for you that you don't worry about getting into a relationship and being relaxed might even increase the chances that a relationship would work out, as it isn't forced, but develops naturally. More importantly, if you find a way to be happy on your own, you'll find your happiness does not depend on finding another person to fulfill you (that's from The Book Of Clichés, Chapter 3). All of this is assuming that you really want a relationship and only speculating based on what I know of your experiences and working with my sparse (experiential) knowledge of this subject. I hope it wasn't too presumptuous or offensive. None of that may even apply to you or, really, be correct in general. Just trying to help.

Quote:

Originally Said by EmperorChaos (Post 382400)
I said that to ZP because I think she might be an asexual too. I have only met asexuals online although probability would dictate that I've met other asexuals IRL. We're the other 1%, if you go by some statistics. That means 1 out of 100 people are "Aces". I think the number might even be higher. We live in an oversexualized world. I'm sure many people who don't experience sexual attraction feel pressure, and that pressure leads to sexual activities.

No. Fungus is asexual. I am a human (last time I checked and despite my previous statement to the contrary).

Kidding. I do get what you're saying, but I wouldn't really consider myself that. I'm not big on these kind of strict categories and labels for people based on their behavior (there might be exceptions, like "mailman" and "schizophrenic" come to mind). I think people (groups of people and individuals) can have tendencies to do things, but ultimately choose, control, and are responsible for what they do. For me, my beliefs strongly influence my behavior--I choose to believe in God and to behave accordingly--and I view sex as a sacred and significant act, as it relates to God's design--physical and spiritual. And I choose to be single and all that goes along with being single for a "practicing" Christian. :ponder:

I guess you could see a correlation between what you're saying and my desire to be single--my natural aversion to those kind of relationships. And I do agree that the world is pretty much obsessed with that topic, and not just the physical aspect, but the idea of romance and these kind of relationships. They do have their place, a big place in fact, and everyone thinks about it at some point, but there's more to life than that. A lot more.