Born january 10 1869. died december 16, 1916. The "Mad Monk" was an advisor to tsar nicholas II of russia. and apparently had great sway on him, so much so that it is believed that the the british killed him, but that doesn't make him an Asshole. the fact that he wouldn't die makes him an asshole.

he had the tsars ear and wanted to have him send more troops to fight in world war I. this would have overwhelmed the allies. he had already had an attempt on his life. he had been stabbed in the abdomine. and eventhough his entrails were spilling out of him, he recieved surgery and lived.

he later put his affairs in order and in writting said he'd be killed before the new year (he died 8 days before) and said that the tsar and his family would be killed within 2 years if he were killed (and they were).

the night of his assassination he was fed cake and wine laced with enough cyanide to kill 5 men. He was unaffected. he was then shot in the back and fell to the ground. the conspirators left but came back shortly because one had forgotten a coat. rasputin attacked one of them, trying to strangle him. the other conspirators shot him three more times in the back (one being a round from a british officer's weapon). they went to check him and he was still alive and trying to get up. they beat him until he submitted, wrapped the body in a sheet, and threw it in an icy river. his body was found 3 days later with his arms stretched out as if to escape the icy water. his lungs full of water, his death was ruled a drowning.

his body was cremated and while it was being burned, he sat up in the flames.

We salute you, Asshole!