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Guttermouth
09-18-2003, 03:13 AM
This isn't mine, but I'm writing an analysis of it and I REALLY like it:

"An Asian-American college student was reported to have jumped to her death from her dormitory window. Her body was found two days later under a deep cover of snow. Her suicide note contained an apology to her parents for having received less than a perfect four point grade average...."
Suicide Note by Janice Mirikitani



How many notes written. . .

ink smeared like birdprints in snow.



not good enough not pretty enough not smart enough



dear mother and father.

I apologize

for disappointing you.

I've worked very hard,



not good enough



harder, perhaps to please you.

If only I were a son, shoulders broad

as the sunset threading through pine,

I would see the light in my mother's

eyes, or the golden pride reflected

in my father's dream

of my wide, male hands worthy of work

and comfort.

I would swagger through life

muscled and bold and assured,

drawing praises to me

like currents in the bed of wind, virile

with confidence.



not good enough not strong enough not good enough



I apologize.

Tasks do not come easily.

Each failure, a glacier.

Each disapproval, a bootprint.

Each disappointment,

ice above my river.

So I have worked hard.



not good enough



My sacrifice I will drop

bone by bone, perched

on the ledge of my womanhood,

fragile as wings.



not strong enough



It is snowing steadily

surely not good weather

for flying--this sparrow

sillied and dizzied by the wind

on the edge.



not smart enough



I make this ledge my altar

to offer penance.

This air will not hold me,

the snow burdens my crippled wings,

my tears drop like bitter cloth

softly into the gutter below.



not good enough not strong enough not smart enough



Choices thin as shaved

ice. Notes shredded

drift like snow



on my broken body,

covers me like whispers

of sorries

sorries.

Perhaps when they find me

they will bury

my bird bones beneath

a sturdy pine

and scatter my feathers like

unspoken song

over this white and cold and silent

breast of earth.

moocow44
09-18-2003, 01:41 PM
wow...that's really really good.

a kick in the face
09-19-2003, 11:56 PM
Wow. That's really cool.

monster
09-23-2003, 03:54 PM
wow, that's so f**king powerful

grunt136
09-23-2003, 06:54 PM
It's really good, but yet sad, b/c you realise there was extreme talent behind that pen and it was wasted in her trying to attain perfection.

Fiend
09-23-2003, 07:25 PM
That's fucking crazy. And it's insane how much stuggle she went through in her short life span. I don't get why people say that this note "cool". It's not cool at all. If you went through anything that this girl went through, you obviously wouldn't think it was cool. Sure, her suicide letter was written with great skill, but the overall topic is depressingly sad. I pity her and I wish upon PAIN to her parents for making her go through so much shit.


It's sad how people can become so driven beyond normal human expectations, and be forced to live up to something that is beyond the stars of their reach, that the only escape they have is suicide. Suicide is never a chosen path, and as this letter teaches us, it shouldn't be blamed on the person that commits it, it should be blamed on the people that push that person towards that sad destiny.


Perfection should be illegal.

grunt136
09-23-2003, 08:23 PM
I don't believe anyone is saying the topic itself is cool, it's just that the writing skill is of a pretty high grade and she would have made a good poet, songwriter, etc. Most just said cool because it's the easiest word to cnvey astonishment with, if not always the most appropriate.

vampire xander
07-31-2007, 11:49 PM
That's fucking crazy. And it's insane how much stuggle she went through in her short life span. I don't get why people say that this note "cool". It's not cool at all. If you went through anything that this girl went through, you obviously wouldn't think it was cool. Sure, her suicide letter was written with great skill, but the overall topic is depressingly sad. I pity her and I wish upon PAIN to her parents for making her go through so much shit.


It's sad how people can become so driven beyond normal human expectations, and be forced to live up to something that is beyond the stars of their reach, that the only escape they have is suicide. Suicide is never a chosen path, and as this letter teaches us, it shouldn't be blamed on the person that commits it, it should be blamed on the people that push that person towards that sad destiny.


Perfection should be illegal.

I hope that you do know that this note, aka suicide note, is not the actual note left by the girl. this was written by a poet about the girl. we know she wrote it to her parents and we know it was about her grades being under a 4.0, but other wise we don't know what else was in it. this is not the note she wrote her parents.



Janice Mirikitani's "Suicide Note", the voice in the poem, a female voice, shows the reader what it is like to get into the mind of someone who wants to kill themselves. She apologies to her parents, whom she thinks that her parents have extremely high expectations for her. She gives her reasons on why she is going to commit suicide. This girl also believes in perfection, believes that is she can't get a perfect grade, then there is not point in living. In the reoccurring line "not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough", we see her thoughts on why she wants to die. From reading in the part above we find that she committed suicide because her grades where not high enough. She still continues to call herself a sparrow who can't fly in snowy weather, but "I make this ledge my altar to offer penance". She can't not see through what people will see past. All of her problems make her believe that they are "ice above my river", and she feels by dieing, this will be the perfect apology for not be the perfect person, or daughter. She is the sparrow, and life is the storm.

EmperorChaos
08-01-2007, 04:42 AM
Thanks Detective.

Wounded Satellite
08-01-2007, 06:15 AM
and look! it took you YEARS to figure it out too
"posted on 09-18-2003"

nice one xander
aka the master of deductions

vampire xander
08-01-2007, 03:20 PM
Actually I just found this site yesterday. I seem to enjoy what people put up on here. Then I see people posting, thinking that this is what the actual girl wrote. It just seemed silly to me.

EmperorChaos
08-01-2007, 05:11 PM
Ahh, well, that was years ago. Why don't you post something in a newer thread? Or make a new user thread and introduce yourself?

Wounded Satellite
08-01-2007, 07:00 PM
Actually I just found this site yesterday. I seem to enjoy what people put up on here. Then I see people posting, thinking that this is what the actual girl wrote. It just seemed silly to me.

oh so you think other people's feelings are "silly" ?
you are sooo gonna fit in here....
not

Nami
08-01-2007, 07:06 PM
Ahh, well, that was years ago. Why don't you post something in a newer thread? Or make a new user thread and introduce yourself?
He probably sees what happens to newbies in introductory threads.

I personally think there's some validity in clarifying where the note comes from.

Wounded Satellite
08-01-2007, 08:06 PM
it doesn't matter
its not like we aren't going to see them coming
they will be new in any topic they post in
:vampire:

EmperorChaos
08-01-2007, 10:00 PM
He probably sees what happens to newbies in introductory threads.


It's okay. I protect new users with my might aegis. I'm like Zeus, yo.

it doesn't matter
its not like we aren't going to see them coming
they will be new in any topic they post in
:vampire:

And we hate them for it, eh John?

pitcairnpete
01-15-2009, 09:54 PM
If she was that fucking clever, she would not have dropped herself out of the window like a coward and sat and done something with her life rather than coast through the education system, expect sympathy for not doing well enough and then achieve what she thought was immortality through one whining semi coherent convoluted passage rather than 24 bits of good work one needs to pass a degree.

People ask why some choose heroin, they just will, you can try but they will find it and it will find them. Just realise if she had gotten those grades then she would have just killed herself a few years later with some other self loathing pseudo-suffering pap like "I was never the son you wanted" or "all the girls make fun of me." Her words were not "neat" or awe inspiring, just cowardly, punishing to her parents and bloody selfish. She can not defend herself now but if she dragged her parents through the mud for no reason claiming they raped her we would all hate her for it even though she had problems and even though they could have all got back in to a decent relationship through time. Instead she killed herself and blamed her parents for her failure to act in all that "if only woe was not me" bullshit so now her parents can never answer her pathetic whining and she can not be held to account for her actions.

Clever, maybe. Vindictive and truly evil? Certainly

EmperorChaos
01-15-2009, 11:48 PM
CHOOSE BRONZE!

pitcairnpete
01-16-2009, 12:32 AM
I do not get it?

EmperorChaos
01-16-2009, 12:34 AM
The Merchant of Venice.

pitcairnpete
01-16-2009, 01:03 AM
Not even Gobbo can save you.

Choir boyy
02-23-2010, 10:06 AM
ughhh
The writer of the poem wasn't the one who commit suicide. It's written about a girl who couldn't handle the pressure of college. I promise..

psychoDiablo
02-23-2010, 01:48 PM
If she was that fucking clever, she would not have dropped herself out of the window like a coward and sat and done something with her life rather than coast through the education system, expect sympathy for not doing well enough and then achieve what she thought was immortality through one whining semi coherent convoluted passage rather than 24 bits of good work one needs to pass a degree.

People ask why some choose heroin, they just will, you can try but they will find it and it will find them. Just realise if she had gotten those grades then she would have just killed herself a few years later with some other self loathing pseudo-suffering pap like "I was never the son you wanted" or "all the girls make fun of me." Her words were not "neat" or awe inspiring, just cowardly, punishing to her parents and bloody selfish. She can not defend herself now but if she dragged her parents through the mud for no reason claiming they raped her we would all hate her for it even though she had problems and even though they could have all got back in to a decent relationship through time. Instead she killed herself and blamed her parents for her failure to act in all that "if only woe was not me" bullshit so now her parents can never answer her pathetic whining and she can not be held to account for her actions.

Clever, maybe. Vindictive and truly evil? Certainly

i agree with this shit. she was gonna kill herself anyway. she had it in her head that she just wasn't good enough because she's a female. she could have married and had kids, and probably would still she wasn't good enough to raise them strong and keep the relationship sturdy.

poor girl. but she truly is a coward

EmperorChaos
02-26-2010, 08:34 PM
ughhh
The writer of the poem wasn't the one who commit suicide. It's written about a girl who couldn't handle the pressure of college. I promise..

Thank you for telling us. We've been unable to read new posts in this thread as they've been added to the thread so we were never informed of this pressing update years after the original post.