AS Survivor 2: Round 2

[Kali]

And the first person to be voted off AS Survivor 2 is...

[drumroll please]

Lady Macbeth as Po!

Not surprising, seeing as there was no entry, and would probably have been disqualified for sticking one in late, so it all balances out.

Sorry Andrea.

....

the next round involves bitching - and lots thereof, i'm hoping.

each contestant may speak about up to three other personas in the competition and slag them off to their hearts' content in order to prove why they should not remain in the competition.

all insults etc must be directed at the persona and the persona only - no reference may be made to the members involved, nor to anybody who is not involved in the competition. an attempt to include more than three characters in your argument will result in immediate disqualification.

may the backstabbing begin!

[david]

Now... it is clear to me that vastly superior... in power... Jesus is, but does anyone know... who this man... really is? As... captain of the USS Enter...prise, it is important that i know... who my foes are and my... peliminary research has.... led me to the discovery that.... Jesus is a fraud!

The man used smoke and mirrors... before to ressurect... himself and... we know if... he can do it... again. Do... not vote... for Jesus if you believe in... integrity!

As...everyone knows, i commanded the USS... Enter... prise with a steady... hand and... sound mind. I never rushed... into combat without first... knowing my enemies. After KHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! we decided... to rethink... our priniciples. However, we... are still a non...violent people. Ahnold is... a disgrace, therefore... to the human race. Brash... and violent.... he often rushes into sit-u-ations with-out thinking (and...then thinks twice... 'I'll be back!' ring... any... bells?). Do you want such a man to... win? Vote FOR ME!

Clearly... my greatest rival... is Liv. She is a poor... actor whom rides... on her fathers.... wornout talent! Burned... out, we shouldn't even... have to consider who... we vote for when... it is between me and her. I am... the superior... actor, having... proved my...worth in many... poorly funded.... TV Series.

Vote for Shatner.... Make it so.

[Bubble Girl]

Madonna

Right... well, I would first like to thank you all for keeping me in for the second round. I assure you, you will not regret your descisions.

And now for the bitching. To start off, as many of you know, I am religious. I look up to God and (I used to) look up to Jesus. I used to respect him and everything he stood for but I was outraged by reading his previous speech. He really thinks that you should vote for him just because he is the son of God, doesn't mean he is any different to anyone else and he should know that. He gave up his life for us, how exactly does that make him so amazing that he can just snap his fingers and order you, the wonderful audience, to vote for him. I'm sorry but that is just not how it works. He has to earn his votes just like the rest of us. I apologise if I have offended anyone but some things just needed to be said about your so called "leader".

And now for Mr. Arnold over there. He has been in America for how long? Yet he still insists on speaking with that ridiculous accent. And the muscles on him! Blimey! Who would want any man who looks like he is ready to pop. And honestly, he is a politician. Why would you want a politician to win? Anyone who has the desire to be a politician obviously has an evil scheme to take over the world. I mean sure, first it is Govenor of California, winner of survivor... next is the President of the US and then RULER OF THE WORLD! Do you really want this man to control your every move? Think about that when you come to decide who YOU would like to win.

[Zanahoria_Picante]

(casually caresses hair with brush, then abruptly stops at the signal to speak) Oh, excuse me! (chucks hair brush savagely to the side, striking an innocent bystander in the jaw)

Uh…hee-hee …

Firstly…thanks for your votes Almost Smarters! They were well-placed, I’ll assure you.

I’d hate to verbally assail my fellow competitors, because I’m Liv Tyler and I’m cloyingly sweet (looks at victim of the hair brush writhing in pain on the floor), but I’m afraid it is essential in this competition.

Let’s begin with Mr. Shatner. For the sake of conserving space, I’ve organized the reasons why he’s inadequate in a bulleted list!

1. His incoherent pausing/inability to construct a complete sentence
2. His creepy little squinty eyes…(shivers)
3. Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn!
4. His inability to keep up with his “exercise routine”- if he can’t manage that, how can he be an adept competitor?
5. Miss Congeniality 2

Now, on to the Governator. Putting his highly exaggerated accent and pseudo-muscles (I think he’s stuffing socks, by the way), can you really trust a politician? Anything he says or does is rank with deception and simply catering to his own political gains. And it’s California not Cal-i-FORN-i-a.

I dated Joaquin Phoenix! Vote for Liv Tlyer! (flashes teeth)

[Demento]

Jesus
Come on.. does anyone reelly have anything GOOD to say about him? Sure he did a whole bunch of important stuff long ago.. but thats exactly it.. LONG ago. He's a has-been, and even if his accomplishments were great, how do we know they werent made up as some sort of publicity stunt? His credibility is miniscule.

William Shatner
Do you think anyone that can't form a complete sentence should be given anything but counseling? Instead of giving this man AS forum points, give him a qualified speech therapist! Do the right thing! Dont force him to make any more speeches here that are too difficult for him!

Liv Tyler
Is she even that great of an actor? Has she ever had an important role in anything? In Jersey Girl? She sucked, LOTR, she stood there and had what.. 10 lines? Armageddon? sucked, and once again, a small and horribly played role on her part. The last thing she deservesis this title. She needs acting lessons! And really though, you can only use your looks so far.

Ill be back.

[Ziech]

Arnold is a politician; therefore cannot be trusted. But is he really a politician? He could in fact be a puppet. How can someone with no reputable political background go from being a half-assed actor to governor of California? Yes I say half-assed; you seen any of his movies? Guess who he plays as: Arnold. He acts the same way in every single one of his movies, his flexibility as an actor is pathetic.



William Shatner… Where to start… he is done as an actor. His career is old washed up and he can’t form a complete sentence. Why should this buffoon be a winner?

Assuming this is a elimination round... Don't vote for me, Jesus.

[Kali]

i love you people, getting the round finished early.

you're all getting rep for making things so much easier.

...

time to vote!

[Demento]

Yay! AND i pitched in an extra 40 points into the Jackpot! doubel rep! lol